I'm sorry. But I hate you. A lot.

I hate you. I hate all of you.

Sometimes I just don't understand why you come tromping down like bunch of trolls to my country, and bitch about us afterwards as you did here. Sure, we're not perfect; sure, we're a developing country; sure, we're a bit backward on so-called-proper (western) civilization; heck, like it matters?

Have you ever stop to think that those cringe hotels and hawkers and pushy transportation were there exactly because you supply them with demands? Have you ever try to even ask your boarding/accommodation whether they have the proper permit to build there and run the business? Why call us corrupt when you gleefully take advantage of our corruption (and by the way, what did you call Maddoff then? Ha ha)? Why cursing our corrupt police men for nailing you with traffic ticket and drugs, when we are in danger of even more severe penalty for that "simple" offense in your home country?

I revise my statement. I hate you if you come here just to be a bitch in my land (men included). I welcome you as a civilized guest though, one that manage to be polite the entire time they are visiting, and even after. You don't want someone to come and bitch at your house, why do it in ours? Think I'm alone in this? Hell no. Read it here, uncivilized guests are a disgrace to their own kin. My friend from South Africa shudder in disgust when he got a pat in the back with a drunken guy, which said to him, "Hullo, mate!".

He and his wife treat me equal, treat me like a human being, and I am very much looking forward for their annual visit. If you are not capable to treat people on the country you're visiting humanely and equally, if you are not capable to honor and respect the country your visiting (and regard it as someone else's home), then by all means stay in your country. You're just not civilized enough to see the world.

Mind your Business, Mr. Save The Earth, Sir.

http://news.yahoo.com/greenpeace-condemns-indonesia-deportation-115529212.html

"Greenpeace on Friday accused Indonesia of waging a vendetta against the environmental group, after the head of its British branch was denied entry to Jakarta to campaign against deforestation.

In recent years, Greenpeace has run several campaigns against Indonesia-based Sinar Mas, a privately owned paper and palm oil giant which environmental groups accuse of illegally logging swathes of carbon-rich and biodiverse forests.

Greenpeace campaigns have seen the likes of Unilever, Kraft, Burger King and Barbie maker Mattel cut supply chains from Sinar Mas companies, including Asia Pulp & Paper, one of the world's largest paper makers."

Remind me again why this "brutal" Sinar Mas Group is doing so many deforestation? Oh right, to supply palm oil for s0-called western-standard products which were then being distributed and heavily advertised to poor under-develop or undeveloped countries as a "you-are-not-civilized-if-you-do-not-use-this-product". You know, items like lab-prepared burgers, cheesy snacks, dolls that makes you wish you lost a few ribs to look like her, all the essential items in life. You know, countries like Indonesia. Oh wait, isn't that the country which the people and "Sinar Mas" savagely deforested their ancient forest and which Greenpeace comes to rescue? Such twisted delight.

Yeah, I confess I may have a grudge towards the organization ever since their fundraiser haggles me for funds. Appreciate that what's fundraiser do, but it leaves a bitter taste as she somehow makes me think that I'm not saving the world by not donating for the group. I did try to, as a matter of fact, in my own way. And now this news makes me even more bitter.

Thank you for trying to save the world, oh great organization. But how about cleaning up your backyard's first before you harass other people's patio? As I pointed out above, we're (the so-called-undeveloped-countries) are merely the supplier. The world hasn't change, the slavery is still live and thriving; back then we got measly food but no salary, now we have salary enough only to buy that measly food. Back then we are forced to destroy our forest for sugar-cane plantation, now we are forced to destroy our forest for palm plantation you so hate about. The old ways of living in Indonesia does not need that many sugar cane, nor that many palm oil. You asked us to.

At this point I know someone would argue, "The Indonesian should know the danger of global warming, Indonesian should take action!". You know, NO Indonesian (or any right-mind person) interested in destroying the forest. The locals love the forest so. And beside, we have better things to do. Yes, we're doing it for the money, but before you argue I would love dearly to see other organizations that fights back deforestation to be in our shoe. Our so-called uncivilized people earn money from it. Not ridiculous amount of money that literally makes you able to swim in it like Scrooge McDuck, but only enough to make ends meet and prevent death from hunger. The ones that made real money are our corporate dudes, not unlike your own corporate dudes which you were so busy protesting now in Wall Street. I have strong suspicion that they are related, perhaps even tied by blood. Our sweat and blood, that is. Go haggle them instead. It's so easy to talk and shout and condemn people for not taking action when you don't have 5, 6 hungry children plus a malnourished wife you love so dearly waiting for your to bring some food home.

Get this. You want to save the planet, you go and negotiates with the consumers instead of go haggling the suppliers. Demand stops, supply stops. Simple and clear. It's not fair that you force us to leave (perhaps) the only way for us to make money, just because several million or so "educated people" can't live a day without their daily dose of burgers. Facts that un(der)developed countries are the biggest consumer? Well yeah, you kinda force feed us. Just like a toddler that has absolutely no clues of the "joy" of junk food, until their parents give it to them (or keep feeding them,to be exact). Junk food makes toddler happy and parents' doesn't need to cook, your items makes us happy and make loads of money for the sales. We've been free for 66 years, Developed countries such as USA have been free for 300-something years. Guess who's the parents.

By the way, have you tried browsing our traditional way of life? Just like the oh-so-precious yoga you'll find them environmentally friendly, sustainable, dirt cheap, and overall awesome. The famous Rendang, for instance, is made by beef but we only ate very little per portion compared to the heavy steaks or even deluxe burgers people so fond of wolfing down. Any prestige on chowing down a piece of rendang? Nope. Any prestige on sporting a massive submarine? Hell yeah. Instead of chaining your self to a tree or chasing down a whale boat you might want to stop and ponder on the marvel of traditional way of life. You might want to focus on advertising the goodness of the traditional way of life. You might want to, you know, perhaps (and a very big perhaps it is), think of what our people should do to make ends meet other than destroying the forest for some measly cents. And then, perhaps, we might save the world.

Please, Be Civilized!

Disadvantaged Balinese will serve a charity *censored name* dinner at *censored place* on *censored date*, following 10-weeks of hospitality training in partnership with *censored name* . The seven students of this pilot program have never had formal schooling and most were illiterate before they joined *censored name* vocational training program....

Their training includes setting tables, pouring drinks, serving meals, taking orders and clearing plates. At the [the event], they will serve 'real' guests for the first time.

How delightful. A group of "disadvantage" and "illiterate" people serving "real guests". Forgive me for being furious, but it's my people you happen to talk about. Sorry, I meant "you happen to humbled, humiliate, and disregard."

Here's another one from Tripadvisor:

I was uncomfortable to be overlooked by people less fortunate than ourselves, especially when sitting on the verandah and the livestock was very noisy, especially the roosters and dogs.

Sorry for screaming this out loud, but what is wrong with you tourists anyway? The only thing we ever done was not living according to the western standard, why do you have to get so bitchy about it? Sorry we don't read latin alphabet though we can read the stars and suns and well predict on what happen in the future, sorry we have coffee grounds in our cups though it tastes waaaay more delicious that way, sorry our dogs run loose and have darn fun with their lives instead of hopelessly obedient and eat dry pathetic dog food, sorry we don't watch jersey shore (like it'll do us good anyway). Your ways aint perfect as well.

I am so upset on hearing (western) tourists complain on how "not nice" everything is in Bali, and so upset to hear we're constantly considered as second class citizen. In our own country. Our ways are good and it works perfectly with our way of life. But then villas are being built, hotels are being made, and our ways is forcefully change to comply according to "western" standard. Try living in our shoes, try eating with your hands instead of with fork and knife and see how it works for you.

And was it really our mistake? I didn't see any Bule hesitate on obscuring the lowest price possible for strategic piece of land in Bali. And I didn't see they care what the local Balinese will do with the money, which in most cases being spent to oblivion in a matter of weeks. It's the spanish inquisition all over again, a crate of aztec gold being bartered for a handful of useless beads. I rarely (if ever) see tourist ask whether the hotel/villa/whatever they currently stay have building+business permit or not, and whether it's catered by locals. Like the example above, why not just enrolling the "disadvantage" people in courses and give them the job? I thought there's rule that apply a certain minimum numbers of local people to work in businesses to ensure job growth. Did the tourists pay attention to that? Of course not. They're too busy saving the cattle from inhumane treatment. How nice to know how worthless we are.

Sorry but I do know what I'm talking about. Too many people build so-called philanthropy organization in Bali just for the sake of cashing money. I was in one such institute as the education manager and I ran away promptly when I realize the money went more to build the owner's luxury villa. I met a school principal recently (caucasian male), along with my friend (who happen to know him) and a dutch lady. He didn't even give me a glance and speaks continuously with the dutch girl. What a gentleman. I have more to share, including the facts that working tourists get paid many times more than the locals, albeit they have the same skill. And you're blaming us for being illiterate and having "disadvantages".

If you want something civilized, go to a standard western countries instead of loitering and complaining in a developing country such as Indonesia. If you want to come here, please don't f*** with our way of life and stop whining around, especially if you do not do anything to rectify what you think is wrong with us. You're the guest and not the host, remember?

Uang, Wisata, dan Ketamakan

Keren banget kan fotonya.... Ini sudut Bali yang saya sukai, Waterblow di BTDC Nusa Dua. Ada ombak yang memecah karang, ada pantai yang luas, ada padang rumput dan pepohonan hijau. Perfect banget buat foto-foto berdua pasangan. Itu kalau anda punya uang lebih IDR 2.5 Juta untuk izin foto disana. WTF?!!!

Yup, BTDC selaku pengelola Waterblow baru-baru ini memutuskan untuk bergabung dengan hampir seluruh pengelola kawasan wisata/resort dan mengenakan fee untuk mengambil foto profesional disana. Ini berlaku untuk semua lokasi di BTDC dan semua pemotretan komersil, jadi kalau anda cuma iseng latihan foto dengan model pun sangat mungkin anda kena palak, ehm maksud saya kena fee tersebut.

Tempat lain yang saya tahu antara lain: Mangrove (IDR 150rb?); Bajra Sandhi (IDR 350rb); Art Centre (IDR 150rb); Taman Ujung Water Palace (IDR 350rb); rumah makan yang punya akses ke sawah berundak/berteras di Ubud (300rb); GWK (IDR 1.5 juta); dan tentunya semua resort di Bali. Beberapa resort/hotel "merelakan" kita berfoto profesional selama kita menginap minimal 1 malam disana, ada yang minta minimal 3 malam (Grand Mirage), ada juga seperti Ayana dan Conrad yang tidak memperbolehkan anda berfoto secara profesional bila anda tidak menikah disana. Plus biaya tambahan bila anda ingin berfoto di SIgnature Spot mereka (e.g. Rock Bar Ayana). Ouch.

Untuk kawasan intern resort saya rasa ini bisa dimengerti, begitu pula dengan kawasan wisata buatan manusia lainnya (misalnya GWK). Bagaimanapun juga, mereka memang keluar uang banyak untuk membuat kawasan tersebut. Tapi bagaimana dengan kawasan historis seperti Taman Ujung? Dan kawasan wisata alam seperti sawah tersebut dan pantai-pantai (termasuk Waterblow)? Bukankah saya selaku orang Bali dan juga warga negara Indonesia berhak menikmati dan mengabadikan keindahan negeri saya, warisan budaya saya? Logika nya kok ga masuk ya sama saya, trus faedahnya apa buat penduduk sekitar??

Ada yang berpendapat kalau biaya tambahan itu wajar, karena kawasan wisata. Ok, terus pendapatan nya kemana? Apakah itu benar-benar disalurkan secara merata (Pancasila sila ke 5: Keadilan sosial bagi seluruh rakyat Indonesia)? FYI ya, beberapa ratus meter dari hotel Nikko yang megah ada kelompok petani rumput laut yang hidup dibawah garis kemiskinan; dan beberapa ratus meter dari villa-villa mewah di Bukit, ada keluarga-keluarga yang bikin keripik bekicot (yup benar, BEKICOT!) untuk bertahan hidup. Ada yang bilang fee tinggi itu bagus karena memperkecil jumlah orang yang mondar-mandir disitu, jadi ga terlalu ramai/eksklusif. Ini buat saya konyol, karena saya seringkali diusir oleh satpam hotel saat saya jalan-jalan di kawasan pantai hotel tersebut walaupun secara hukum pantai tersebut milik umum. Bukankah itu hak saya selaku warga negara Indonesia dan keturunan Bali untuk berjalan-jalan di kawasan leluhur saya sendiri?

Jujur saya ga tahu harus berkata apa. Mau protes sama pengelola resort/wisata yang ngenain fee/"eksklusif" seenaknya itu percuma, karena toh mereka bukan orang Bali atau bahkan orang Indonesia. Mau negur pemerintah daerahnya percuma juga, karena jelas banget kebijakan pemerintah Bali saat ini adalah "demi Investor", bukan "demi masyarakat" (masih mau jualan pasir Bu Eka??).

Entah kenapa baik investor maupun pemerintah (dan sebagian masyarakat yang hidup dari wisata) tidak mampu berpikir bahwa saat semua lahan di Bali sudah habis, saat semua keindahan alamnya dikapling dan ditutup khusus untuk tamu hotel/resort, saat semua hal diberi label harga, tak kan ada lagi yang tersisa. Alam yang leteh/kotor dan rusak, turis yang menolak datang karena merasa jadi sapi perah, identitas diri kita sendiri yang menghilang beserta tanah warisan keluarga. Apa lagi yang tersisa bagi keturunan kita, atau bahkan bagi diri kita sendiri? Saya takut. Saya benar-benar takut.

Photos from: PhotoFactory Blog

Song of a Beast

I wanna be free
With wind in my hair
Blowing through the window of my car
Laughing, smiling, enjoying life
Music throughout the journey
With sunshine pouring through
And clear greeneries around
While we're singing the songs to the top of our lungs
I wouldn't care about anything else
Just you and me and this wonderful journey
I wanna be free

I wanna let lose
With sand in my feet
And wave caressing me, crashing through the beach
I wanna toss my head gaily
I wanna laugh triumphantly
As I take you to dance on the beach
Dance together with the thumping music
Under the moonlight and stars
And the beautiful sea around us
I wouldn't care what the world would think
As long as I'm dancing with you
I wanna let lose

Instead of chained in this office
Locked in my room
Caught in my dead routines
One day the tiger will be free
Roaming through the green woods
Dancing on the sandy beach
One day I'll be free

This One is For You, Mum

Mumpung hari Wanita se-Dunia (telat sehari sih), saya ingin bercerita tentang Mama. Yeah, pasti malas banget ya baca tentang keluarga orang lain. Tapi saya harap anda mau terus membaca sampai habis, siapa tahu ada pelajaran yang bisa ditarik :)

To get started, semua Mama pada dasarnya orang yang kuat. Laki-laki boleh berasumsi dia yang paling kuat, namun kekuatan yang sebenarnya buat saya terletak pada Wanita, apalagi seorang Ibu/Mama. Keteguhan wanita untuk melindungi dan membahagiakan anak-anaknya plus pria yang dicintainya benar-benar tidak ada duanya deh. Hampir ga mungkin seorang pria bisa merasakan maternal feeling itu, makanya ada istilah "Surga ada dibawah telapak kaki Ibu".

Mama saya adalah orang yang amat sangat kuat, dan dia mampu memilih untuk menjadi bahagia walaupun diterpa berbagai cobaan. Dari semenjak saya kecil hingga dewasa, saya hampir ga pernah melihat Mama menangis di depan anak-anaknya, ga peduli seberapa beratnya pun masalahnya. Saat papa ga ada dan beliau harus menghidupi sendiri ke 5 anaknya, Mama tetap berjuang dan menerima semuanya dengan besar hati. Bayangkan, saat itu 2 anak beliau kuliah di luar pulau dan 3 orang lainnya masih SD, dan Mama sama sekali tidak punya pengalaman kerja karena Papa melarang mama bekerja. Yang papa tinggalkan hanya sebuah toko listrik/fotokopi kecil yang juga baru dibuka (mereka baru pindah dari Jakarta saat itu). But she did it, dan berhasil membuat toko tersebut menghasilkan hingga sekarang.

Dengan semua itu, Mama masih harus bertahan dengan cercaan dan kabar miring yang justru dilontarkan oleh orang yang ia sayang, yang harusnya mengayomi kami. Baik dicerca langsung oleh orang tersebut maupun sindiran-sindiran orang, beliau sudah mengalaminya. Fitnah ini sampai membuat tak ada yang mau membantu kami, walaupun sebenarnya saat itu kami sangat butuh bantuan baik moril maupun materil. Seolah kami ga punya teman ataupun keluarga. Apa yang Mama lakukan? Beliau justru menekankan pentingnya cuek dan menjaga emosi. Kasarnya, "He's an ass. Let's not be an ass, too.". Saat orang yang ia sayang tersebut dalam kesulitan, Mama tetap mengulurkan tangan dan membantu dengan tulus. Beliau ga pernah meninggalkan kewajibannya sebagai seorang wanita.

Apa hasil dari keteguhan Mama? Perbaikan kehidupan. Anak-anak yang pintar dan mampu berdiri di atas kaki sendiri. Berbagai hal yang ia butuhkan. Tuhan ga tidur. Keteguhannya untuk tidak membenci orang yang menyakitinya membuat kami pun berusaha tidak melakukan hal itu. Tekadnya untuk melindungi dan membahagiakan kami mampu membuat kami pun berusaha menjadi bahagia demi dirinya. Dan ya, semua yang beliau butuhkan selalu diprovide oleh Tuhan. Semua permintaan-permintaan polosnya selalu terpenuhi walau terpenuhi dalam kondisi yang mungkin mengagetkan (her good samaritans are just everywhere).

Sangat mudah untuk menuduh semua kabar miring yang dihembuskan orang itu benar, karena beliau tidak mau membuang energi untuk membantah atau bersikap sebagai "korban" ala sinetron. Jangan bayangkan Mama saya seperti di TV-TV, yang menangis perlahan, "ya Tuhan, kuatkanlah aku" sementara kamera sibuk men-zoom. My Mama rocks. Semua hal ditanggapi dengan cuek dan ga pernah sinetron mode. Tapi bukan berarti beliau tak terluka, beliau cuma memilih untuk "nelan" semua itu dan cuek. Menurut beliau masih banyak orang yang lebih susah dari kami, dari beliau, so why bother? Dan juga, Mama tidak ingin kami terluka, jadi lebih baik beliau bersikap cuek sehingga kami tidak sedih melihat beliau bersedih. Children's First, motto Mama.

Karena terlihat kuat dan makmur walau tanpa Papa (padahal kami masih berjuang lho, hidup adalah perjuangan), maka orang berpikir kalau kabar tersebut benar. Padahal kalau mau pake otak, coba lihat apa yang telah di achieve Mama saya. Semua anak-anaknya anak baik-baik. Walau dalam kondisi ekstrim tak satupun dari kami terjebak dalam pergaulan yang salah. Ga ada satupun anak Mama yang terkenal karena keburukannya (e.g. matre, piala bergilir, etc). Itu saja sudah jauh lebih baik dari banyak orang dengan keluarga utuh. And we all love her, dan rela melakukan apa saja demi beliau karena beliau pun rela melakukan apa saja demi kami. Apa itu bisa dicapai bila fitnah tersebut benar? Jelas nggak. Nothing good will come from bad stuff. Dan sebaliknya, nothing bad can come from good stuff.

I love her, dan hanya ini yang bisa saya lakukan untuknya. Saya ga mampu membersihkan nama beliau, melenyapkan semua kebohongan yang orang katakan tentang beliau, tapi saya bisa memberitahu semua orang what a great woman she is. Dia ga sempurna, she has her faults, but I love her all the same. This one's for you mum. I love you.

I'm in Love

I'm in love. Just like that.

It's not one of those "eureka!" moments, or "lightning struck" kinda thingy. It's something that I've been feeling for a while and gradually realize. I'm in love, and I think this one is for real.

My friend told me how she hate people who easily said "I'm in Love", yet can change that feeling in a wink. How it took only a little time to change those three words to "I don't think we should see each other anymore." I don't think this is one of those cases though. I do hope not.

It's not those badaboom-badabang feeling, how you got fireworks working every time you think of him. Or romeo+juliet stuff which makes you so emotional every time you see him. It's more like seeing a tree of orange jasmine blooming after the rain. Simple, beautiful, and makes me feel calm inside. As with the orange jasmine blooms that will all fall out with another rain, the feeling and condition will probably change, the moment will passed. But the calm remains inside. As my dear mum will pointed to me: I have made peace with myself.

No longer I crave for those adolescent splendor: walk hand in hand by the beach on sunset, snuggling close on a rainy day, or just looking and being with him 24 hours a day, and of course, the illusion of marriage or a happily ever after. For one thing, I can hardly communicate with him due to various reasons. By all probable means, by the time I had the chance to meet him in person again he would probably already have a wife (to-be) in tow, and perhaps even a child or two. He might not (or choose not to) realize what I felt inside. Yet it really doesn't matter now.

What I crave is for him to know I'll always be with him in spirit. I longed to hold his hand in troubles and assure him he can make it. I want to see him smile and laugh and be happy with his life. I want to help him be a better man, because he is. I don't care if I'm not his "chosen" one. This calmness inside, this feeling I have for him is enough. I enjoy loving him.

In the past I made a grave error of thinking a happy marriage will save me, it will be a drug-of-all-choice for a great life. It's not. My life is great. I enjoy it immensely. And I should have done that from the start. I was so busy polishing him to be the-best-husband-to-be for my best-marriage-ever in order to have the-best-life. I take it so seriously I failed to see that there is no such thing as perfect marriage nor perfect life. It's being with him that counts. It's seeing his smile and knowing how happy I made him feel that should be counted, not how well those things will go in a marriage. It's not making dreadful calculation on how things should be going, but it's about enjoying things that is currently going. Marriage will not ensure me happy life. Myself will ensure a happy life.

It's a lesson live and learn, and I hope you readers can learn from my error and enjoy what you have with your loved ones. The feeling might change, the future is forever unclear. But for now, let me delight in him, cherishing every moment of this beautiful feeling. I'm in love.

Beri kami cinta, namun juga beri kami makna!

Seorang TMIMM (kalau ga tau ini singkatan apa, read it here) kemarin mendekati saya, minta jadi teman dekat. Tapi cuma sebagai selingkuhan aja, karena dia punya istri plus pacar. FYI, dia baru ngaku punya istri setelah saya pojokin terus. Saya dengan semanis mungkin menjelaskan bahwa: a) seliar-liarnya saya, suami/pacar orang itu off limit. Saya ga mau nyakitin sesama cewek; dan b) saya itu semeton juga dan banyak Pedanda di Gria saya. Saya minta dia menghargai saya dan jangan main2 sama sesama semeton. Cari aja mainan lain, tapi jangan semeton. Tahu jawabannya? "Kalau ga mau ya bilang aja ga mau, jangan bawa2 kasta!"
Lho??? Piye iki??

Pria seperti ini, terlepas dari keturunannya, memang nyebelin dan ga tahu malu banget. Sudah punya istri (dan anak) mbok ya sudah, jangan masih kegatelan kesana kemari. Apalagi sampe ngaku2 bujangan. Namun entah kenapa di sini dianggap umum. Walau buat saya itu TETAP ga umum, tapi yang lebih menyakitkan adalah perkataannya terakhir. Saya hitungannya sedarah dengan dia, kenapa seolah saya tidak berhak dihormati? Apakah para TMIMM begitu superiornya sehingga TWTSM dianggap ga berarti dan boleh diapain aja? Kalau ya, mendingan lepas aja gelarnya dan biarkan TWTSM menikmati kebebasan mereka.

Bukan cuma tentang ini saja, ini juga tentang cerita-cerita dimana TWTSM diperlakukan dengan kurang hormat (ok, downright awful). Cerita-cerita tentang bagaimana upacara menikah TWTSM dibuat sesederhana mungkin sementara upacara menikah wanita non TWTSM dibuat seheboh mungkin, dengan payas agung dan banten lengkap seolah menyambut prami. Cerita-cerita tentang TWTSM yg sudah menikah dipanggil kasar atau dengan nada hinaan sementara istri-istri non TWTSM dilarang untuk dipanggil Jero dan diharuskan dipanggil "Gek". Have your own halloween stories? Put it here ;)

Buat yang sudah emosi jiwa, sabar dulu ya... Saya ga bilang bahwa non TWTSM tidak berhak diperlakukan dengan baik. Saya bener-bener ga peduli mereka mau diapain. Kalau memang dianggap mereka menantu/istri idaman, by all means go for it. Tapi jangan membuat mereka begitu berharga dengan merendahkan yang harusnya dihargai. Bukankah logikanya juga, terlepas dari siapa nama menantunya, bila menantu 1 mendapat upacara yang baik, sudah seharusnya menantu 2 mendapat yang sama baik? Ga pake diskon-diskon lah... apalagi kalau memang seharusnya secara keturunan pantas dihormati. Sejelek-jeleknya TWTSM yang masuk ke keluarga, yang ada di pasaran, sekurang-kurangnya mereka (otak, kaya, fisik, karir, apapun!), mereka share darah yang sama, sama-sama keturunan Ida Pedanda Sakti Wawu Rawuh.

Saya ga minta dihargai sampe disembah-sembah. Saya cuma ngerasa ini ga masuk akal aja. TWTSM dibilang ga boleh nikah keluar karena akan merusak darah, memutus darah dan ga bisa pulang ke Gria. Keluarga TWTSM yang kawin keluar pun dianggap tidak becus mengurus anak dan kerap jadi bahan pergunjingan. Tapi di sisi lain TWTSM yang menikah ke keluarga TMIMM pun tidak selalu diperlakukan dengan baik. Ada keluarga yang bahkan dengan pedenya berkata "ah, dia cuma bawa (maaf) V****a aja." walaupun TWTSM ini bukan hanya memiliki karir yang bagus, namun juga berasal dari gria yang penuh Pedanda. Berarti darah yang mengalir di TWTSM ga dianggap dong?

TWTSM juga sering mendapat pressure untuk menjadi sempurna: tutur kata, tindakan, banten, (dan bahkan terkadang) rekening bank. Saya sepenuhnya yakin ini untuk yang terbaik, agar kita bisa menjalankan tugas leluhur kita (walau saya ga terlalu yakin soal kekayaan) dan pendukung yang tepat bagi para TMIMM. Tapi bagaimana dengan TMIMM sendiri? Saya dalam kurun waktu 1 tahun sudah menemukan sedikitnya 5 TMIMM yang masih mengincar perempuan walau punya pasangan. Belum lagi yang dugem dan minum berlebihan. Belum lagi orang-orang seperti pria diatas, yang ga peduli walau dia TWTSM asal bisa jadi mainan. Harus diingat bahwa ga ada pedanda perempuan yang bisa naik sendiri. Mereka baru bisa naik bila pasangan mereka menjadi pedanda. Jadi siapa yang dilihat masyarakat? TMIMM. Siapa yang dengan sukses kelakuannya mencoreng nama kita? (kebanyakan) TMIMM. Tapi TWTSM lah yang mendapat tekanan dari lingkungan kita. Ini aneh. Jadi apa makna TWTSM kalau bahkan orang yang harusnya melindungi dan menghargai kita justru tidak menghargai kita?

Bila dilihat kasus-kasus diatas, TWTSM memang terlihat seperti ga ada harganya. Ga punya bargaining position dan hak, adanya cuma kewajiban. Tapi saya yakin sebenarnya bukan begitu. Saya sepenuhnya yakin kalau TWTSM pantas dihargai, dan kita harus berusaha agar TWTSM memang dihargai oleh sesama semeton. Saya ga setuju kalau ada yang berargumen "tergantung orangnya dong, pantas ga dihargain." Kalau memang demikian, cabut aja namanya, beres toh. Jangan lagi ada TWTSM. Kalau darah memang sedemikian berharganya sampai TWTSM dan TMIMM membawa beban kewajiban yang berat, bukankan sudah sewajarnya bila darah itu dihargai? Bukan hanya pria, namun juga wanita. Itu utang kita kepada Ida Pedanda Sakti Wawu Rawuh, karena dengan tidak menghargai sesama keturunan beliau, maka kita juga tidak menghormati beliau. Menghormati orang bukan suatu yang berat kok. Cuma perlu BANYAK latihan dan kebesaran hati.

Untuk para TWTSM: anda BERHARGA! Jangan pernah lupakan itu. Bila anda merasa tidak dihargai lingkungan anda, go out there dan cari orang-orang yang mampu menghargai anda. Seorang ayah yang kuat tetap memerlukan seorang ibu untuk meneruskan keturunannya. Angkat kepala anda tinggi dan jangan mau dikalahkan oleh keadaan. Berbanggalah akan darah yang mengalir ditubuh anda, apapun yang orang lain katakan. Cara lain untuk dihargai? Use condom. Ga ada jalan yang lebih pasti untuk TIDAK dihargai keluarga suami daripada hamil diluar nikah. Inget itu.

Pesan terakhir untuk para semeton: anda bisa mengutuk buah pikiran saya atau mendukungnya, namun JANGAN hanya melihat dan berkata "itu bukan urusan saya.". Selama anda masih dengan bangga menyatakan anda keturunan Ida Pedanda Sakti Wawu Rawuh, maka anda memiliki tanggung jawab dan andil dalam hal ini. Jangan melakukan tindakan yang merusak semeton, namun jangan tutup mata terhadap tindakan-tindakan semeton lain yang merusak. Bagaimana kita bisa dihargai dan menghargai umat bila kita tidak mampu menghargai saudara sendiri? Saya yakin kalian bisa. Saya yakin kita bisa :).

Oh My God by Lily Allen

What I'm feeling right now. Miss u all, Jakartanese...

Lily Allen - Oh My God Found at abmp3 search engine

Time on your side that will never end
The most beautiful thing you can ever spend
But you work in a shirt with your name tag on it
Drifting apart like a plate tectonic
It don’t matter to me
‘Cos all I wanted to be
Was a million miles from here
Somewhere more familiar

Too much time spent dragging the past up
I didn’t see you not looking when I messed up
Settling down in your early twenties
Sucked more blood than a backstreet dentist
It don’t matter to me
‘Cos all I wanted to be
Is a million miles from here
Somewhere more familiar

Oh my god I can’t believe it
I’ve never been this far away from home
And oh my god I can’t believe it
I’ve never been this far away from home
And oh my god I can’t believe it
I’ve never been this far away from home
And oh my god I can’t believe it
I’ve never been this far away from home

Great rulers make for greater glory
The only thing growing is our history
Knock me down I’ll get right back up again
I’ll come back stronger than a powered up pac-Man
It don’t matter to me
‘Cos all I wanted to be
Was a million miles from here
Somewhere more familiar

Oh my god, I can’t believe it
I’ve never been this far away from home
And oh my god I can’t believe it
I’ve never been this far away from home
And oh my god I can’t believe it
I’ve never been this far away from home
And oh my god I can’t believe it
I’ve never been this far away from home

Oh my, god I can’t believe it
I’ve never been this far away from home
And oh my god I can’t believe it
I’ve never been this far away from home
And oh my god I can’t believe it
I’ve never been this far away from home
And oh my god I can’t believe it
I’ve never been this far away from home

Curhat si Kucing - 1

Sesaknya di kota ini... Sulit untuk bernafas... Begitu banyak yang ingin dikatakan, diutarakan, tapi ga pernah bisa tersampaikan. Rasanya seperti dalam kandang kaca, cuma bisa melihat tapi ga bisa menyentuh, mencium, merasakan. Pengen break free, pengen menghancurkan kurungan kaca ini dan lari sejauh-jauhnya, tapi ga bisa. I'm stuck here.

Tangan yang terulur ke dalam kurungan ini ga pernah diam cukup lama untuk dibaui, untuk jadi keluarga, untuk jadi teman. Semua berpikir ada yang diharapkan dari mereka, ada yang diminta. Pujian tulus dan kasih yang ditawarkan, yang oleh tuan-tuan terdahulu diterima dengan sukacita dan kehangatan, disini tidak laku dan dianggap "ada maunya".

Seandainya bisa terus seperti dulu, bebas merdeka tanpa ada pembatas, bisa pergi kemanapun, melakukan apapun, menyayangi siapapun, dan tahu ada apa yang dilakukan dianggap berharga oleh orang lain. Katanya tunggu dengan sabar, karena tuan-tuan yang mengerti akan datang, Tuhan toh ga tidur. Tapi kucing bukan binatang yang sabar, dan kucing sangat penasaran. Well, mungkin satu saat akan benar-benar ngerasa kepentok dan menghancurkan kurungan ini, apapun yang orang lain akan pikirkan; atau justru breakdown and slowly died. Karena ga ada kucing manapun yang suka dikurung. Ga ada.

My City

my city is a palace of lights
bustlin and hustlin day and night
the brightness of sun on glass window of tall buildings
the shining lights of billboard and building alike
it's a palace of light, a wonderland

and you will never be lonely
ever!
the cold morning is greeted with the office madness
and the chilly night is accentuated with the sounds of people

And the Heights, oh my God, The Heights!
Running accross a tall pedestrian bridge
Taking a glimpse of traffic below from your office window
standing in top of the tall campus building
breathing the air, enjoying the freedom

and it's such a beautiful place to say thank you
Thank God I still got a seat on the bus
Thank God I can give my seat to that grandma
Thank God the bus is not that full
(the bus did get REALLY full) But THX GOD I'm home!!!

and you'll enjoy the drama
the queerness of people
the kindness of people
the stupidity of people
prepare yourself to laugh,
cause you'll be laughing yourself next
and that's the beauty of it!

You'll always find someone next to you
someone near you
and there simply no quieter place to be,
no other place most suitable to speak to yourself
than in the midst of strangers

Open your eyes and so many stretched hands are there,
helping you, guiding you, comforting you
a door to knock whenever you felt like crying
a room to barge whenever you felt like partying
just like a big shoe store,
you'll definitely find the pair you need

Some would say my city is Harsh,
Some would say my city is Cruel,
Some would say my city is Intolerable,
but it's my City....

No matter how beautiful the full moon on sandy beach is
No matter how pleasant it is to swim freely
No matter how exciting and fun my work is
I'll be coming home
to where my friends are
to where my heart is
to my City