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Showing posts with label negative feeling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label negative feeling. Show all posts

Monday, October 31, 2011

I'm sorry. But I hate you. A lot.

I hate you. I hate all of you.

Sometimes I just don't understand why you come tromping down like bunch of trolls to my country, and bitch about us afterwards as you did here. Sure, we're not perfect; sure, we're a developing country; sure, we're a bit backward on so-called-proper (western) civilization; heck, like it matters?

Have you ever stop to think that those cringe hotels and hawkers and pushy transportation were there exactly because you supply them with demands? Have you ever try to even ask your boarding/accommodation whether they have the proper permit to build there and run the business? Why call us corrupt when you gleefully take advantage of our corruption (and by the way, what did you call Maddoff then? Ha ha)? Why cursing our corrupt police men for nailing you with traffic ticket and drugs, when we are in danger of even more severe penalty for that "simple" offense in your home country?

I revise my statement. I hate you if you come here just to be a bitch in my land (men included). I welcome you as a civilized guest though, one that manage to be polite the entire time they are visiting, and even after. You don't want someone to come and bitch at your house, why do it in ours? Think I'm alone in this? Hell no. Read it here, uncivilized guests are a disgrace to their own kin. My friend from South Africa shudder in disgust when he got a pat in the back with a drunken guy, which said to him, "Hullo, mate!".

He and his wife treat me equal, treat me like a human being, and I am very much looking forward for their annual visit. If you are not capable to treat people on the country you're visiting humanely and equally, if you are not capable to honor and respect the country your visiting (and regard it as someone else's home), then by all means stay in your country. You're just not civilized enough to see the world.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

The Hatred

I hate him. I hate him with all my might. For what kind of person would purposely driven his own children against each other, turning mother and daughter into bitter enemy, and condemned his wife to eternal shame and grief?

All the psychology theory, psychiatry lecture and information have been applied to him, all the excuses and reasons to make him less evil than he is, but in the end, he's just plain evil, period. No one with conscience can do what he have done, and all the hideous deed was done only for his pleasure, for the sheer purpose of pointing all attention to him, for (in his mind) if everyone is against each other, he will be the sole winner and all attention will be drawn to him. And to think I love him once.

I have read several books in which the killer/victim was in joy upon knowing that the hated one has been eliminated. I used to think that it must be horrible to think like that, but today I share the sentiment. I love him so and I know I won't be able bring myself to hurt him, but nothing can be more relieving than to know that he has gone forever from me, from people he has hurt.

I know, my action and thoughts today are against what I have wrote in this blog, against all the positive attitude that I strongly endorsed. I also know that even i he is gone forever, life will go on and more difficulties will arrive. I know it all. But for today, just for today, let me pour this poison from my chest. Tomorrow I will smile again, and the day after tomorrow I will laugh again. The hatred will soon pass from my mind, until the time he strikes again. But for now, let me indulge myself in my viciousness, and pray for a day without The Hatred.

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