The Real Reason Why People Should Travel

There are, you know, other countries. Ones with different rules and cultures and food, ones with different laws and norms. And you might missed them. You might missed them if you just sit around in front of your computer, or living your life without ever going anywhere. You might missed them if you did get around but too busy admiring the scenery or communicate with your inner-self (or social media) instead of observing the people around you. You might missed them if you choose to close your eyes and block your mind from anything "new".

I found a post about a modern-day slavery in US that intrigued me. A few people commented that the victim should just go to the police and reported them. As one person stated:

"NO ONE "lives a slave life" unless your stupid enough AND want to do it. Look at every instance that's made it into the press...IF your stupid enough to believe that walking out that door is bad then you deserve to be where your at and should be an economic unit." 

To me this sounded like a very good example of living inside your shell, and why you should travel even if it's a virtual travel through the internet.

My sister and son. 

There is more story in this to admire than just her elegant traditional dress

As painful as it is for me to admit, law in Indonesia are shaky at its best. If you were up against someone who had more money/power or a more 'respected member' of the society you might find yourself at the deep end instead. Take Prita's case, who was sued for libel defamation just because she posted her complaints about a hospital in her mailing group. Authorities are not really fond of helping you out too, it's easier to just slip an extra Rp 20,000 to an office clerk that you know at the police station when renewing your vehicle's license than to do the whole shenanigans by yourself (which will end up costing you both time and money). Even though not all authority/government staff are like this, the overall situation conditioned us to distrust and become very reluctant in dealing with authorities. I can't imagine how the slavery victim can just go and report to the police, because even with my husband constant assurance and complete documentation I still found myself nervous and reluctant when I have to deal with US authority. He kept on saying that they couldn't harm me, yet it was not easy to just change my mindset. 

This fact is mind baffling for country citizens where laws are upheld and their authority/government are set to help them in every part of the way. But as I said: different countries, different rules. And this is why travelling is important for you, because ignorance and indifference could hurt. 

So many people returned home from their travel with only pictures and videos on their SD cards, or the story of that excellent night of rave partying, or about their new-found conscience and re-uniting with God. But travelling should be more than that. It wasn't always about what you experienced, but it's also about what you learned. It's not about 'visiting' a place, it's about 'learning' that place. It's about discovering and understanding another part of the world, and realizing that that's what make the world is so awesome. Travelling should be about humanity in general, because even in the most desolate deserts or the highest mountain top you would need to interact with human to be there. 

Indonesian's carnival game: Duck ring toss. 

Because tossing a ring to a bottle would be too easy :p

In a world where hate and destructing 'criticism' are freely given through the mask of internet, travelling might be a way to world's peace. Understanding is basically accepting, and if we learned to accept that there are things 'different' than what we know we wouldn't be in constant "you offend me! No, YOU offend me!" situation. This is basically a cheat sheet for those who couldn't (or didn't have to patience to) find the great karmic peace within them. And it sure is nice to get more peace and have less people complains about getting pissed off from other people's pure indifference and ignorance. 

Do the world a favor. When you travel, even if it's just cross-country for the thanksgiving, observe the people around you and how they live their life. Places where people live shaped their character and their view in life, and you might surprised on how refreshing it is to see a new point of view. Some you will disagree with and some you will hate, but remember that you are not there to judge. You are to observe and (hopefully) to understand, but never to judge; and to realize what a vast, diversified, and beautiful world we have. This appreciation would be a valuable memento of the trip, and the real reason why people should travel. 

Pursuit of Happyness

My husband did his little victory dance last night. It involved a lot of hip-thrusting, arms raising, and various smug expression which all said: "Yeah I did it!". The reason? Peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

It is hard to believe this is the same man that only a year ago was a chain smoker and went bar-hopping to forget how much he hate his life. This is also the same man that a mere 6 months ago was in a constant debate on how ridiculous living in California was, that the same amount of money he paid for his huge house in Arizona was only enough to pay the rent of our small apartment here in California. And this is also the same man that a mere 2 months ago would come home and sat and watch video in the internet all night long, completely oblivious that I was also in the same house with him. He is still the same man. The only difference is that he's happy now, and he knows that he's happy.

So often I hear people say: Happiness is a choice. It was as if we can easily choose to be happy, just as easy as deciding to have pizza for dinner instead of pasta. But if you never had a pizza before, how do you know you'd prefer that over pasta? And even if you do know pizza, how do you know which would make you happiest: with pineapple instead of jalapeno, or pepperoni instead of ham? When my husband went into depression, it's one of the things people would almost always say to him: You need to be happy. Sure, but how? It's not that he didn't want to be happy, it's not that he didn't choose to be happy, it's that he didn't know how.

Happiness is not a choice. It's a state of recognition, a degree of awareness. You need to be able to see your life or your current condition objectively to find happiness, to realize whether your life was in fact really that sucks (or not). My husband got the cheat sheet. He went to Indonesia and got himself both a wife and a life changing experience. His trips to Indonesia change his whole perspective of life, and made him appreciate the perks and the infinitely easier life in the US. When I came to US, I was enthralled with all the little things that he was so accustomed to, and that in turn made him appreciate the life he lives in even more. It's the little things that counts.

Yet in a way, happiness is also a choice. In one of our heated argument during his depression period I told him: I need you to be happy because I deserve to be happy with you. As selfish as it sound, it worked. He acknowledged the things he would miss if he kept being depressed. He found things he like, and he pursued them. He laughed more. On rare occasions where his depression coming back with a vengeance, he would hold himself in tight check and wait till it went away instead of succumbing to it. He would smile even when it's difficult for him to smile. He wanted to be happy, and now that he can be happy, he choose to stay happy.

As I said, he got the cheat sheet, the (kind of) easy way to find happiness. It was by far an impressive feat, but he had his life experience and a perfectly compatible partner to help him found it. A lot of people don't have this privilege. A lot of people spend their life with the nagging emptiness inside them, which can not be satiated even with the fanciest cars or biggest houses, and even with the self-improved articles or advice from life-style gurus still couldn't see how they can be happy. As my husband put it: "I spend my youth thinking that I would be happy if I have a better car or house than my friends'; and at times I would have that urge, that insatiable craving that I just have to have something, like a designer shoe or latest gadget which I just can't rest until I have it. I don't feel that anymore."

Happiness is about being grateful, it's about accepting your situation and make the best of it, it's about self-control and desire to be better. Happiness is about loving yourself, and thus the life you live. It is not a constant condition and its intensity (or even its existence) may differ from time to time. But if you had more sunny days than rainy days, I think you did pretty good :).

My husband and I love to eat, and therefore we really enjoy our grocery shopping trips. We'd high-five when we found a good deal at the supermarket, or a simultaneously "Yes!" and arm pumping when we do price-checking and noticed we have previously bought the same item at another store for a better deal. A pizza toast on a bolilo roll for late-night snack is enough to made us grin with happiness. A trip to Santa Monica pier or a walk at The Getty was our idea of fun, but so does hanging out at the library or watching a concert in the park, or even our daily evening walk around the apartment complex. His (not-so) secret desire was to once again swing on a rope at Bali's waterfall and do a dangdut dance at the local carnival in Indonesia. Finding hidden geocache in the middle of a desert or in a busy park excites us. And yes, peanut butter and jelly sandwich for snacks. Those are the things that made us happy. What made you happy?

Time to Get Civilized

"And I am thankful that you can speak English because without it this will be impossible!"- Boyfriend

I receive a report that a coworker was abusing our office helper. It wasn't the first time that I heard how bad certain people treated our office helpers, and I was beside myself, yelling and cussing and basically very angry. 2 reasons: 1) good workers are hard to find, and I hate to lose them just because some idiots think they're high and mighty; 2) it's just plain wrong.

Now, why is it wrong to treat your subordinate or someone with "lower rank" disrespectfully? Can you tell me how? Why is it wrong to be ignorant or harsh to a waiter, or a bus driver, or an office helper? I believe many of you that read this probably certain you have better social status than them. Why bother then? They wont play any role to advanced your career or social status, nor would they ever be associated with you (at least in your mind). Then why you should be nice?

Because they are fellow human, damnit.

I believe all humans are created equal, and I am qualified to say this thanks to 1 full year human anatomy lesson I had to endure in my undergraduate program. If given a kidney we might be able to diagnose the condition of the kidney, but in no way we can tell whether it comes from a waiter or a CEO. It goes the same with blood. When given transfusion can you really tell where it came from? Can you say, "Oh no, I'm allergic to anyone that live at the border of poverty line. Don't give me that.". We *might* feel we're doing the world a huge favor by denying the transfusion altogether (and favor for you! What happen if you are really allergic and can actively reject the blood from low income people just like Akin's women can reject sperms from rape?!). Alas, our Hippocrates oath forbid us to have that fun, erm to conduct in such irresponsible manner.

Cue: this is the part where you should get defiant and said, "I deserve to have what I have right now, because I'm not just a [put a negatively-linked verb here e.g. Lazy Useless Uneducated] like they are!"

To which I would reply: you just got lucky. No, our achievements and hard work is ours to brag. That is most certain. The thing is, there are so many other variables that we were born to, and we can't choose that. Some were born into good education, some were born into wealth, and some were born into hardships of life. A child in a median level family will have access to adequate education, enough affection (as the parents can afford more time to be with them), good self esteem, and definitely well nutrient food and vitamins; which all probably lacked by a child in poor family. I am among the lucky ones that were born into an ideal condition that helped me expand my potentials (English included), but there are others born in an even more or even less favorable condition. But can we really choose our parents? Or the level of income we were born to? We can't. Thus it is absurd to judge people based on the chances that they don't have, nor for the
opportunity that doesn't knock their door.

Cue: ok, altogether now: "but they ARE useless and brainless and just made me ick!"
Yes, I believe the @Queen_UK probably think that way too about you. The difference is, she'll be too classy to even care about you (gin o'clock everyone!)

In my life I found 2 type of people: The Knows (those who know they are rich/smart/etc) and The Thinks (those who think they are rich/smart/etc). The Thinks stink. They will be the ones that raise their nose so high, or see you so low. The problem is, they only think they are great, they don't know it for sure. Thus they need to ascertain themselves and their greatness by belittling others. I had clients that treat me like servant, and I have super powerful clients that treat me like equal. I met men who judge my carefree look and thin budget, I have a boyfriend who sees my quality and damn proud of me. The Knows and The Thinks are so easy to differentiate.

For whatever reason, it is just wrong to treat people in a degrading way just to assure your dominance or social status. You can't make yourself richer by deliberately make a harsh remark of how poor one is, or be smarter with rude remarks about uneducation. If any, your judgement towards others will not show the worth of the person you judged, it will show your worth instead. Nobody likes rude degrading comments towards other (true, some malicious personality will have a field day), but nobody will resent a warm sincere smile and nice words (except the malicious dudes and dudettes who will scattered like a group of cockroach under the flaslight).

It's the 21st century for Godsake, we human has been here for millenias. It's about time we get civilized.

Innocence of Muslim: mari tetap innocent/tak bersalah!

Karena di Indonesia sedang "in" trailer Innocence of Muslim (walau sangat terlambat, karena di negara lain sudah tidak terlalu "in" alias mereda), mari kita lihat fakta dan fiksinya:

1. Film ini bukan dibuat oleh Amerika, tapi dibuat oleh ORANG Amerika, dan White House/pemerintah resmi Amerika sendiri tidak mengetahui apalagi mendukung film ini. A a a, jangan argumen kalau 1 orang Amerika = Amerika. Itu sama saja dengan berkata Indonesia negara bom bunuh diri atau pembuat video porno berisi (konon) 40 wanita. Perbuatan perseorangan bukan berarti perbuatan satu negara.

2. Pembuat film ini adalah seorang Kristen Coptic (Mesir) yang membuat film ini karena merasa Kristen Coptic ditekan oleh Muslim Mesir (walau pihak Coptic membantah, orang ini memang sableng saja). Sisi Amerikanya? Kebetulan Sam Bacile ini bekerja di Amerika dan menjadi warga negara sana. Amerika mengadakan naturalisasi imigran/masuk kewarganegaraan tiap tahunnya. Asia, Afrika, negara Persia, semua yang memenuhi syarat bisa menjadi warga negara Amerika. Sayangnya termasuk si Kacrut ini.

3. Para aktornya pun tidak mengetahui mereka membuat film tentang Nabi Muhammad. Mereka hanya diberi script satu dua paragraph tiap harinya. Dan setelah film ini selesai, ada pihak lain yang tanpa seijin si pembuat menerjemahkan ke bahasa arab/mesir dengan kata-kata yang lebih ekstrim.

4. Pemerintah Amerika sudah menangkap kacrut pembuat/produser film ini dan mempertimbangkan langkah hukum terhadapnya.

Sekarang, apakah ada alasan untuk mendemo kedubes Amerika?

Amerika memiliki "right for Free Speech" alias "hak kebebasan berbicara". Sangat disayangkan bahwa film Sam Bacile ini terlindungi oleh aturan ini. Tapi begitu pula film-film atau pendapat lain dari orang Amerika yang mendiskreditkan Gay, kaum minoritas, pemeluk Kristen lainnya, apapun bahkan didalam Amerika sendiri. Bahkan ada film yang mendiskreditkan presiden Obama serta kelompok yang berdemo memaki maki di pemakaman orang, dan mereka tidak bisa ditangkap atau dihukum. Tidak menyenangkan, tapi itu aturan mereka. Indonesia pun punya aturan sendiri, Pancasila misalnya. Apakah Cina atau Korea Utara boleh protes bahwa kita percaya Tuhan? Jelas tidak. Lagipula, bila anda mencermati berita luar negeri anda bisa melihat bahwa publik Amerika mengecam kebodohan si pembuat film. Sekian orang tewas dan terluka hanya karena seorang idiot yang bermain dengan api/mencari masalah.

Kenapa harus ada demo-demo anti Amerika? Kenapa harus ada tuntutan agar SBY menekan Amerika? Indonesia BUKAN negara Muslim bung. Kemerdekaan kita diraih dengan perjuangan dan nyawa pejuang Bali, Batak, Kalimantan, Cina, Betawi, semua suku di Indonesia yang notabene memeluk beragam agama. Silakan demo, tapi jangan bawa nama Indonesia. Kalau segitu pedulinya dengan film s!@l dari antah berantah itu sampai siap jihad dan mati merusuh di kedubes Amerika, kenapa ga ada yang siap membela Ahmadiyah? Atau konflik Sampang? Atau muslim di daerah terpencil Indonesia yang hidupnya teramat sangat kekurangan? Skala prioritas bung! Jangan mengurus konflik yang jauh tapi yang depan mata tidak ditoleh.

Apapula faedah merusuh? Stating your point alias menyatakan sikap? Ini bukan Islam yang saya kenal. Islam yang saya tahu itu adalah agama yang damai. Tangan-tangan ramah yang menggandeng saya selama ini, senyuman hangat yang saya lihat seusai sholat, bahkan teman saya seorang bule Amerika yang pernah ditugaskan di Sulawesi pun mengagumi keramahan pemeluk Islam disana. Ini Islam yang saya tahu. Kemarahan dan ajakan "setan" ala Al Qaeda (yang memuji penyerangan dan pembunuhan pasca film ini) hanya memperkuat vonis umat non-muslim bahwa film br*ngs*k itu benar adanya. Saya tidak mau itu terjadi. Islam terlalu indah dan berharga untuk dilecehkan seperti ini oleh umatnya sendiri.

Urusan anda kalau benci Amerika. Tapi ada cara yang lebih ciamik: jadi lebih hebat dari mereka. Kalau dulu ilmuwan Islam disegani karena kehebatan mereka, kalau dulu Indonesia sebegitu hebatnya sampai bangun Borobudur, kenapa sekarang puas cuma jadi perusuh dan maki-maki ga jelas? Saya yakin Islam lebih baik dari sekedar demo-demo yang terekspos di TV. Berani membuktikan? ;)

"Stick and stones can break my bones but words can really hurt me!"

I read about the world's ugliest woman. Yes, she isn't pretty; but the comments about her take ugliness to do the new level. In a Youtube clip about her, people called her "monster", "it", and even said she should kill herself. I mean, seriously?? She's no beauty queen, but why should she kill herself because of how she looked? And most importantly, what right do one has to talk in such gruesome way to her?

The rise of internet has unfortunately gave birth to trolls, who freely throw insult to others cloaked in anonymity. It is understandably more convenient to say bad things to other over the net, than to hurl it face to face with no backup or anonymity at all. Reading comments, say in the Yah**, would make you think that almost all the active internet users are either illiterate or a bunch of savages. Free speech? Maybe. But what about consequences?

The most damaging consequences in hate speech/verbal bullying/trolling is the emotional impact. Broken bones can be mended easily, but broken heart is not that easy. Nor can self confidence, in that matter. What seemed to be a harmless effortless insult can be something damaging instead. In Libya this week, it costs lives. In Tyler Clementi case, it costs life. In any bullying case, it costs life: a life where one has to live with destructed self confidence because of words of others is by all means no life at all.

A writing in time.com (http://nation.time.com/2012/09/12/to-the-shores-of-benghazi/) stated: "Bacile is an idiot willing to toss fuel on smoldering embers – and then expresses surprise when it erupts into flames." This brings us to the other side of the consequences. Those who dare to speak must be willing to accept the results of their speech. Go and insult a man's momma in front of him and get ready for a good punch in the face. Tell a woman she look like a hag and get ready for a good sharp slap. Tell parents that their son/daughter is trash and get ready to see a gun pointing at your head (ok, I'm exaggerating. But you get my drift). If you pay consequences for your words which were spoken in public/person to person, why should words spoken in the internet (albeit in the cloak of anonymity) be different?

Some might argue that people need to stop being so sensitive and get offended easily; and bully victims deserve the terrible treatment because they are weak. But why blame others? Why not just restrain ourselves from saying hurtful things? What's the benefit of that anyway? You can't get prettier by calling someone ugly, nor becoming a rocket scientist by calling someone stupid. And if you can't resist the urge to say hurtful things, prepare to stand up and accept the consequence.

We live in a less than ideal world, a savage place where one might intentionally hurt other just for one's vile amusement. Which is odd because no other animal hurt their own species only for fun. But humans also have what other species don't have: kind words and warm smile. The world may be less than ideal, but we can make it a better place to live simply by respecting others. As The Queen in Lewis Carrol's Alice said: "Curtsey while you're thinking. It saves time." For all its worth, I hope one manage to speak something nice after thinking it first ;).

Let Me Kneel Down and Pray

What is it like to pray in a very old church? My boyfriend went for a job assignment at a foreign country, one that has many old churches, and I am excited for him yet also envious at the same time.

I have long developed a fascination with old buildings/structure, especially those which still used and/or well taken care of. Their architecture tell us what and how their maker think, their ambition and the current trend when it was built; it tells us about the past, it shows us the past. With praying sites it's even better. Temples, churches, mosques, just name your praying site. Not only the architecture tells us about the past, there are certain feeling that lingers there: hopes, faith, submission, dreams.

"Cogito ergo sum", Descartes said. "I think, therefore I am." This sentence was to proof the existence of human conciousness. It is aptly believed by many people. It's the era's mantra: if you believe it, you can achieve it. From curing the canker to a coveted job position, you can do it if you believe it. If this is so, won't it make sense that such strong thought will leave its marks? In an old praying site all the hopes and dreams and faith stay well after the person who feel it left. It's the believe that their God will help them. And after numerous years the feeling still lingers, an echo of the past.

A secluded Balinese temple, a church used by many generations, a mosque built in the 18th century, a buddhist monastery hidden in the mountain since years ago, the places where their worshippers can bend their weary head, kneel [in front of the altar], and pray. Where they can tell their woes and whisper their hopes and feel safe and protected once again. Wouldn't it be wonderful to visit such places? To have the past spoken to us, and to know the true strength of humans' faith.

And let me bow my head humbly, let me kneel down and pray. It will be my date with God.

Write, baby. Write!

My boyfriend told me to write.

"Write, lovebug, write!" he said, "Write like your life depends on it!"

At first I didn't quite understand why he was so adamant about it. Yes, I enjoy writing. Thus the blog. D'oh. I didn't write/post entries regularly, but it doesn't mean I don't like writing. Sometimes I just prefer relaxing and seeing the world. Ok, most of the time. Happy? Lol. Nonetheless his unmovable view proved to be, ah, unmovable. And after a hefty dose of coaxing, stern reprisal, and many more coaxing I found myself firing up my computer after work, and got lost in the realm.

I travel through the forest not unlike Fangorn in Lord of The Ring. I walked through the city with my boyfriend and enjoy ourselves. I went to the future and the past, and cherishing the smallest details of the present. All in my writing. Like Rodger-Hammerstein's Cinderella once sang, "In my own little corner/In my own little chair/I can be whatever I want to be."

It took him to shook me off and realize how much I love to write. When books take me to their world, I was merely following the path they have provided. In my own writing, I get to choose the path. With those written words I talk to stranger I've never meet before (and will probably never meet ever!): sharing my thoughts, my joy, my agony. It is a wonderful feeling to found myself relaxing and (somewhat) chatting in my worlds of 1000-something words.

But now and then my phone will beep. My boyfriend would contact me and I would be transfered back to reality. The harsh, harsh reality. Well, actually is more of the sweet, sweet reality. For what is sweeter than knowing you will always found home? I can write what I wish, what I want to tell, make up my own world and played in it, but I can always find home afterwards. He'll be there, waiting for me. A fully supporting friend/spouse/patron is a definite "must have item" for any writer!



PS: See baby? I write!

A Kind Word Helps Two

""Subject: * VERY IMPORTANT MESSAGE *
Mon, Jun 25, 2012 11:58 PM PDT

Just wanted to write you a quick email to tell you that I love you!
I know I've said this before, but it just feels so
good to tell you again :D And again! :)"

She smiled her widest smile when reading the email. All the hardship of the day, all the trouble and worries seemed to melt away just because of the kind words in the e-mail. How good it was to have someone that cared!"

How many of us have the luxury of kind words spoken to us recently, let alone in daily basis?

Of all the species in the world, human is unique for its ability to emotionally support and/or affect each other by words. Simply put, whatever people say affect us. This is the reason why some people take delight in verbal harrasment/bullying, but this is also the reason why a simple "Thank you" or can easily brighten our otherwise miserable day.

It is always a pleasure to deal with a polite person, one that uses the magic words appropriately: "Thank you", "please", "excuse me". I assume it is because it makes us feel appreciated. If so, what about genuine compliments and encouragement? That must be more potent even. Wouldn't it be grand to know someone think what we do or what we are is good? Wouldn't it be wonderful to know we are not alone and someone actually care?

It's only natural that someone that gets a healthy dose of kind (polite) words and encouragement will fare better than the ones that don't. He/she will have more self esteem, more positive way of thinking, and will appreciate and respect other people more. Yet with all the obvious advantage kind words are still quite hard to find these days, and I suspect it will be harder still as more and more people learn/adapt to live without others. But unlike other things in life, words are completely totally free. It's actually funny because we gain nothing by not saying [kind words to people], and gain so much by saying (i.e. The receiver's good feeling of him/herself, and also your own good feeling). Yet somehow our mouth is sealed tighter than the clams.

For that, I dare you to say something nice to others. One of the magic words, a small compliment, all genuine and straight from your heart. Say that, and watch the magic happen. See his/her face lit up, watch the smile bloom, observe the twinkle in his/her eyes and the obvious excitement. Congratulations, you just made his/her day.

Here's my line to you readers: Thank you for reading this, thank you for spending your time to ponder on my thoughts. And for the ones that take up my dare: Thank you for trying. I hope it makes you feel good about youself :). Man, it feels good saying all that! I really do love you, readers. Many thanks for reading!

The Inevitable

"There is no such thing as coincidence. What we have is the inevitable." -XXXHolic

My friends told me how impossible I am. My last relationship was conducted from 4500 km away, and my current one is more than 14,000 km away. Previously I was bracing the complicated social norm of Balinese hierarchy, now I land my self in a cross-race and totally different nationality altogether. No wonder my friends think I'm crazy, and questioned why won't I just get a normal relationship like everyone else. Point taken, but why should I?

 For me, it was never the question of difficulties or hurdles or challenges. It was always about the feeling, what kind of person my partner is. But sometimes, in one of few rare occasions, my faith waiver. Was I making the right decision, can I make it through. Then, wham! God smack my senses back.

Was worried about whether I can survive professionally when I got a client that simply thankful for what I do. Was scared that we couldn't last when I got a client who asked to conduct a surprise engagement photo session. Was thinking whether conducting a relationship from far away is a good idea when I got a client who decidedly moved to Japan, and having a great time with it albeit the anguish of missing the friends and family. And they all came from the same country as my partner, which actually made the chance of them contacting us and becoming a client is pretty slim. Flying full 24 hours is not really fun. But they came.

An agnostic would say I'm making this up. Heck, my partner WILL argue I'm making this up, that I'm forcing to connect the dots lol. But that's what I choose to believe, that everything happen for a reason. There is no coincidence, only the inevitable. It's His way of telling me that I'll be good.

Was I delusioning? Probably.
But I can't help feeling good about what I have, about my partner and our relationship. I listen closely to my feeling, to my gut instinct, as I can't afford and don't want to get hurt again. And I felt good, I felt really really good. When other people say what I am trying to do is crazy and impossible, I just know I'm going to make it. And yeah, He's been telling me that too.

What I Hope My Child(ren) Will Have

Eyes that open wide for the wonders of life
Ears that hear and enjoy kind words and melody of the world
Lips that smile and bring wonder to others
Mouth that speak things kind and bring peace and joy
Fingers that caress without doubt
Hands that are ready to help
Arms that are ready to hold
Kind heart with compassion for others
Strong heart that stood rock solid over troubles
Courage to do what is right
Self-control to stop from what's not
Humbleness upon this majestic word
Confidence in him/herself and what he/she can achieve
Strength to defend him/herself
Grace to love others

An open minded person
A loving soul
A quick thinker
A wise and smart decision maker
With faith that never falter
And feet that take him/her far.

I love you, little angels.

http://m.yahoo.com/w/legobpengine/news/blogs/sideshow/boy-disney-trip-soldier-fallen-family-facebook-132933068.html?orig_host_hdr=news.yahoo.com&.intl=US&.lang=en-US

Setara: Sebuah Imaji

Negara bagian Kansas di Amerika mengesahkan undang-undang yang memperbolehkan dokter dan apoteker menolak memberikan KB/birth control. Lady GaGa ditolak masuk di Indonesia karena terlalu provokatif. Wanita (dimanapun) yang mengaku sexually active dianggap rendah.

Sekian ribu tahun peradaban dan wanita semakin dianggap rendah. Mari kita luruskan, kalau wanita sedemikian rendahnya lalu posisi pria dimana? Wanita provokatif itu jelek, toh anggota DPR kita sibuk menonton bokep saat sidang. Wanita yang hamil diluar nikah itu jalang, tapi apa bisa dia hamil tanpa "bantuan" pria. Wanita yang sexually active itu rusak, tapi berapa banyak pria yang bilang "Stop!" dan justru tidak memanfaatkan kesempatan.

Bila ingin wanita di dunia menjadi lebih baik, maka para pria harus menjadi lebih baik juga. Kehamilan bisa dicegah bila pria bertanggung jawab, hubungan sex pun bisa dicegah bila pria mampu mengontrol dirinya sendiri, termasuk untuk ke-provokatifan. Saya bukan benci pria, saya cuma benci wanita terus disalahkan untuk hal-hal yang sebenarnya tanggung jawab kedua belah pihak: pria dan wanita.

Sudah saatnya prinsip kesetaraan yang digembor-gemborkan itu diwujudkan, bahwa wanita setara pria, dan pria setara wanita. Dalam hal baik maupun hal buruk, pria dan wanita setara dan memikul tanggung jawab yang sama. Sudah saatnya kita beranjak modern.

Wear 'Em Like (a) Diamond

"Do I love you because you're wonderful, or are you wonderful because I love you?"
- Rodger and Hammerstein's Cinderella

A friend of mine came to me the other day, happily told me how his new girl been "wearing him like a diamond". Meaning she was just so radiantly enjoying his company and has been proudly showing him off to everyone. Good for him I say, but as usual it made my mind tickle: is he or is he not a diamond? Was he that good that the girl thinks highly of him or did the girl thinks he's super special (whatever the truth is) thus made him a diamond in effect?

To be fair I would think that diamond or not diamond, it was the wearer that will determined the effect. (I know you'll read this dude, rest assure that I think you're super too. So read on lol)



As brilliantly showed by Joshua Bell and Washington Post, not many people can appreciate beauty if taken outside the context. An expensive piece of art placed in your local cafeteria without any brands or expensive tag will not be looked upon, on the contrary a child's scribble being framed and hung in a well-known museum will definitely earn accreditation. And when almost nobody took a second glance of Joshua Bell in the subway, can we really be sure that the crooner on the expensive stage really is as good as he/she was marketed? In the current civilization things need context to structure them, to give value. A diamond will not shine as bright if the wearer is ignorant of its value.

It does sound rather shallow and stupid, doesn't it? Because here's the joke: Beauty is everywhere. And everything is priceless.

When you see an item, it is impossible to fully comprehend the value and beauty of it, since we can only focus to certain characteristics and not the whole meaning of the item as it will take years of research and fruitless brooding. An bouquet of daisies can intrigued the biologist for its species and shape, the philosopher for its significance in life, and a girl simply because it looks so pretty. It is even more so when we're talking about human, since humans are like many-faceted diamonds that will shine differently if shone by a certain light or simply looked from a different angle.



A tour from my Facebook timeline will show (to most people) a motley assembly of friends: the narcissistic, the almost Buddha-ist, the boring family man, the geek, and so on. Not too interesting perhaps, especially since almost none of them showed, ah, the "real bling". However, a closer look of their education/work tells a different story: a doctor and clinic owner, a bank portfolio manager, a financial consultant, master degree in Psychiatry, scholarship graduates from Tokyo University (and German and Singapore and Italy), the list goes on forever.

These are, of course, more than enough reason for me to flaunt my friends like they're diamonds. I have not one or two amazing friends, I have the whole league of them. But this is not what makes me so proud of them.

In that timeline I see someone that is so adapt in material engineering she actually thinking (jokingly she claimed) to send David Guetta her big book of material strength because "Titanium is NOT the strongest metal as he claimed in his song!"; I see a man so dedicated to his family yet still willingly spend time as my personal IT consultant (most of my wealthy clients don't even have one!); I see a girl that dressed and think beautifully (and it's no mean feat); I see people that loves me no matter how broke, how devastated, and how less-pretty I might have been. For these reasons I'll proudly wear them like diamonds and other precious jewels. And I know they feel the same way about me.



I know, I know. It's just words, right? But think about it. What if, what if you can spot the beauty and appreciate the value in every single thing in life? In your friends, in your work, in yourself? What if you can do that? Then you'll be so proud with what you have, so satisfied and feels so complete, it was as if you are graced and decorated with all the precious materials of earth. And the effect will be just as wonderful to the people (or things) around you, because once you appreciate someone/something you have given them self confidence and pride. In the end, everybody happy.

It's all up to you. You can strut blindly as if in fake gold rolexes, or you can stop and appreciate the beauty and proudly show it off like you're covered in diamonds and jewels. An easy choice, I'd say. Me? I'm simply richer than King Solomon's wife. My loved ones ensure that ;)

Problem Girl

And when the kids on the street say
What's your problem girl
And the weight of their smile's just
Too much for you to bear
When they all make you feel
Like you're a problem girl
Remember
You're no problem at all
You're no problem at all
- Problem Girl by Rob Thomas

And yes, he's right. People who does not fit into the mold that others made so, ah, perfectly, do not always mean they have a problem. Sometimes it's just because they're simply...different.

And what is normal anyway? It really does not matter if you do things un-normal/differently as long as you do not disturb others. While an act of using your underpants outside like Superman may sounds outrageous (hardly anyone do that), shouldnt the act of getting your fancy clothes by means of embezzlement and tricking people be more disturbing (so many people do that)?

Morality, I believe, is the operating system that God installed on us. It is there to help us navigate ourselves in life, between basics of right and wrong. Norms, on the other hand, are human made rules. It is made to ensure the humans' social pack get along smoothly, so it's different from one human group to others. Killing a person is morally wrong (the proof is that only very few percentage of people can do it without haunted by guilt), but it is accepted (and done) as a norm in some culture e.g. Honor Killing.

So yes, people can say I'm a problem. Yet I simply live with my own rules and uphold universal moral values [most prominently: thou must not hurt others]. So yeah, I'm probably different, but I refuse to be categorized by people or even by myself as "problematic". No, I'm no problem at all. Happy Sunday :)

Jadi, Apa yang Anda Lihat?

Mari bermain :)
Apa hal pertama yang ada di benak anda saat melihat gambar ini?


Hitam
Putih
Overweight
Montok
Tua
Muda
Pasangan
Teman
Letih
Hitam
Bahagia
Jelek
Tampan
Ga penting
Menarik


ada lagi?

Bila anda menunjukkan gambar ini ke 10 orang, belum tentu 10 orang itu akan menjawab sama. Itu karena tiap orang memiliki pandangan dan pertimbangannya sendiri, yang didapat dari pengalaman hidupnya dan didikan lingkungannya, kecuali anda menunjukkan 10 gambar ini ke orang yang memiliki pandangan yang 100% sama dengan anda (e.g. anda menunjukkan gambar ini ke perkumpulan Ku Klux Klan anda: "That bloody filthy colored nigger bitch!", and so on).

Beberapa kata-kata yang pernah dipakai untuk mendeskripsikan saya: judes, tegas, ramah, kasar, baik, cuek, setia, tidak setia, cantik, tidak menarik, montok, gemuk. Banyak yang bertolak belakang? Tentu saja. Seseorang mendeskripsikan teman saya diatas sebagai seseorang yang penuh perhatian, baik, ramah, bisa diandalkan, terpercaya; sementara orang lain mendeskripsikan dia sebagai seseorang yang lambat, tidak bisa diandalkan, dan sulit diajak berdiskusi. Mana yang benar? Mungkin semuanya.

Pernah dengar cerita 5 orang buta yang mencoba mengenali gajah? Yang memegang gading gajah berpendapat bahwa gajah tajam, licin, dan keras. Yang memegang belalainya berujar gajah itu lentur dan kuat. Yang memegang ekornya bersikukuh bahwa gajah itu kecil dan halus. Dan seterusnya. Cerita ini sering kali dipakai untuk mendeskripsikan betapa besarnya Tuhan, sedemikian besar sehingga manusia hanyalah seperti para orang buta itu yang tak mampu menangkap wujud asli kebesaran Tuhan. Menurut saya sebenarnya hal ini juga berlaku untuk manusia. Seberapapun anda pikir anda mengenal manusia lain, seberapa banyak pun anda membaca buku psikolog, tak mungkin untuk mengerti sepenuhnya seorang manusia. Ya, anda bisa mengerti sebagian dan menggunakan pengetahuan itu untuk memanipulasi, erm maksud saya mencoba memahami orang tersebut (biasa, sales). Tapi anda tak akan mengerti manusia itu sepenuhnya. Apakah anda saja mampu mengerti diri anda sendiri?

Yang menarik adalah, orang memandang orang lain berdasarkan apa yang ingin ia lihat, berdasarkan apa yang sudah terdoktrin dalam pikirannya. Seorang dosen yang keras mungkin dianggap tegas oleh mahasiswanya yang menghargai ketegasan dan empowerment, namun dianggap sadis oleh mahasiswa lainnya yang lebih menghargai kekeluargaan. Seorang kaya yang mengebut dengan mobil Ferrari nya mungkin dianggap orang hebat oleh seseorang yang menghargai barang-barang mewah namun dianggap orang norak oleh lainnya yang anti kapitalis. Itulah masalahnya, semua pandangan mereka benar. Paling tidak menurut diri mereka sendiri.

Kenapa ini penting? Karena dengan memahami bahwa sangat wajar orang lain memiliki pandangan dan pertimbangan berbeda, kita akan mampu menjadi lebih toleran kepada orang lain. Kita akan mengerti dan tidak mudah sakit hati dengan omongan orang, dan sebaliknya, kita pun akan bisa berpikir lebih luas. Siapa tahu orang yang sedemikian kita benci ini memiliki sisi baik. Yeah, mungkin kita benci orang yang kita anggap pelit, namun bila kita mengerti bahwa ia menolak nongkrong di starbux bersama kita namun rela mengeluarkan uang lebih banyak untuk saudara jauhnya yang sakit, bukankah itu akan membuat anda menjadi berpikir ulang?

Saya tidak perlu merasa sakit hati bila seseorang menyebut saya gendut, karena itu hanya di pikiran dia dan ada orang lain yang tidak berpendapat demikian. Saya pun bahagia dengan bentuk badan saya, so what. Anda tidak perlu merasa stres karena dibandingkan dengan si A yang tampak lebih dari anda (lebih kaya, lebih pintar, lebih segalanya deh), karena ada orang yang (saya yakin) menganggap anda memiliki nilai lebih daripada si A. Sekali lagi, ini bukan berarti saya memang tidak gendut atau anda memang tidak bodoh, ini hanya berarti orang-orang melihat kita secara berbeda. Daripada sibuk memikirkan omongan orang lain atau justru sibuk menilai orang lain, lebih baik anda sibuk membuat diri anda merasa nyaman dengan diri anda dan membuka diri atas kebaikan dan kelebihan orang lain. It's the key to happiness.

You Look Best When You Smile

You look best when you smile
It was like the sun shine through the cloud
Like the rainbow after the rain
Like the warm spring wind after the harsh winter
You maybe not a beauty queen
And definitely not James Bond
But seeing you smile fills my heart with gladness
Making me feel the world is such a beautiful place
So smile, angel. You'll never know who you might saved with your warm, honest smile
Cause you look best when you smile

- This note is dedicated to all that read this article. Smile, gorgeous ;) -

Pelajaran dari 20 bungkus nasi

My Mama rocks. Iya, pasti semua anak yang sayang ibunya akan berkata demikian, tapi ibu saya (menurut saya) benar-benar keren, dan saya sangat berterimakasih pada Tuhan masih diberi kesempatan untuk hidup bersama dan belajar dari beliau.



Karena suatu kesalahan pemesanan (yang bukan dikarenakan saya atau Mama), pagi ini kami harus membayar IDR 100rb untuk 20 bungkus nasi untuk sarapan lengkap dengan lauk. IDR 100rb itu lumayan berat lho untuk menebus kebodohan yang bukan salah kami; dan rumah kami hanya terdiri dari 6 orang, jadi mau diapakan sisa nasi tersebut??

Dalam situasi seperti ini orang biasanya memilih salah satu diantara ini:
a) Bersikeras kepada pedagang nasi tersebut bahwa terjadi kekeliruan dan menolak membayar pesanan tersebut
b) Membayar sambil mengamuk pada orang yang melakukan kesalahan pemesanan tersebut
c) Membayar namun sibuk menangisi nasib
Tindakan A secara logika memang mungkin yang terbaik, namun pedagang tersebut akan merugi dan amat mungkin jadi marah/hubungan baiknya rusak sudah. Tindakan B dan C tampak menyelesaikan masalah, namun biasanya karena masih mendongkol nasi-nasi yang malang itu akhirnya terabaikan. Sama-sama susah kan jadinya?

Apa yang Mama saya lakukan? Menjadikan nasi-nasi tersebut sebagai sarapan, tentunya. Dengan mudah 8 bungkus nasi menghilang (adik-adik saya adalah cowok-cowok abg dengan selera makan yang besar, eh maksud saya selera makan yang sehat). Lalu beliau memisahkan nasi dan lauknya, dan memasak sedikit sayur tumis. "Lumayan lah, Ibu ga masak lagi" kata beliau sambil nyengir. "Kalau ada sisa nasinya nanti malam kita bikin nasi goreng saja. Hitung-hitung kita justru hemat banyak. Cuma 100rb sudah buat makan seharian, plus buat pegawai di toko Ibu." You know, she's right.

Disaat biasanya orang berkutat pada suatu masalah dan mencari si kambing hitam, mama saya menunjukkan lebih banyak yang bisa dicapai dengan mencoba mengatasi masalah tersebut. Bukannya sibuk menyumpah dan menangisi uang 100rb yang hilang plus surplus nasi yang kelewat banyak, Mama mengubah pola pikir beliau dan kami, dan memberdayakan surplus nasi tersebut sambil menyadarkan bahwa uang tersebut memang sebenarnya tidak "hilang".

Jangan bayangkan Mama saya seperti "mama ideal" ala sinetron, yang menghela nafas dan berkata ala martir/orang suci, "Tidak apa apa anakku, ibu siap berkorban untukmu...". My Mama swears. Nggak benar-benar menyumpah sih, namun beliau sepenuhnya mampu mengekspresikan pendapatnya. Beliau otentik dan tidak fake. Inilah yang membuat Mama saya beda dengan yang lain, dan membuat saya sangat menyayangi beliau: Mama benar-benar manusia(wi) dengan segala kelebihan dan kekurangannya, tapi sanggup "think outside the box". Life is so much easier with her by my side.

Lainkali kalau saya terbentur masalah, maka saya akan tahu bahwa saya harus menenangkan diri dan memprioritaskan pemecahan masalah, bukannya panik dan sibuk menyalahkan orang. Pasti jadinya akan lebih lancar dan lebih baik. Semua berkat Mama dan 20 bungkus nasi tersebut :).

Aturan 10,000 Jam

"The key to success in any field is, to a large extent, a matter of practicing a specific task for a total of around 10,000 hours."

Apa persamaan Beatles (band super terkenal dari Inggris) dan Bill Gates (pendiri Microsoft)? Selain sama-sama sukses dan sama-sama luar biasa kaya, dan sama-sama dianggap "dewa" di bidangnya?
Mereka sama-sama berjuang dan berlatih selama lebih dari 10,000 jam di bidangnya. Hal ini yang kemudian menentukan kesuksesan mereka dan tentunya, kekayaan mereka yang melimpah ruah.
Waktu belum terkenal, The Beatles bermain di Hamburg, Jerman selama lebih dari 1200 kali, selama kurang lebih 8 jam sekali manggung. Bill Gates sudah mulai memprogram komputer dari umur 13 tahun dengan komputer SMP nya, dan saat dia dropout kuliah untuk mendirikan Microsoft dia sudah mengerjakan program komputer selama 10,000 jam.



Ini boleh dipercaya atau tidak, namun sementara mari kita beranggapan bahwa ini benar adanya. Seperti kata pepatah, practice make perfect.
Bila kita berasumsi ini benar, maka apa yang bisa kita lakukan untuk menjadi master/ahli/sukses dibidang kita? Ya itu tadi, mengerjakan hal yang sama selama 10,000 jam. Berarti untuk jadi sales yang baik perlu 10,000 jam melayani customer, untuk jadi fotografer/videografer yang hebat perlu 10,000 jam menggunakan kamera, untuk jadi editor handal perlu 10,000 jam mengedit.

Kedengarannya banyak ya? Sebenarnya nggak juga. Andaikan kerja selama 8 jam perhari, 25 hari per bulan, maka hanya dibutuhkan waktu 4 tahun lebih sedikit untuk menjadi ahli di bidang pekerjaan anda sekarang.
Ok, mungkin anda tidak terlalu suka dengan pekerjaan anda yang sekarang karena lebih suka pekerjaan sebagai pesulap (misalnya). Tidak ada larangan bagi Anda bisa berlatih menjadi pesulap, dan saat mendekati 10,000 jam saya yakin anda sudah (nyaris) menjadi pesulap handal. Tapi bila anda masih stuck dengan pekerjaan anda skarang, kenapa tidak melakukannya dengan maksimal? Dalam 4 tahun lebih sedikit anda bisa menjadi ahli dan (sangat mungkin) sukses di bidang tersebut, plus ahli dalam bidang sulap (bila anda juga berlatih 8 jam/hari, 25 hari/bulan). Double Success ceritanya.

Sebaliknya, 10,000 jam melakukan hal yang "sedang-sedang" saja maka akan melakukan hasil yang "sedang-sedang" saja. 10,000 jam mengasah kemampuan bersantai anda maka akan menghasilkan "ahli bersantai" (terdengar seperti Nobita nya Doraemon hehehe). Jadi kenapa tidak melakukan yang terbaik di bidang pekerjaan anda dan mendapatkan hasil maksimal? Think big, aim high. Berpikirlah hal-hal yang besar, dan incarlah sesuatu yang hebat. Toh anda ga rugi apa-apa. Semakin ahli anda maka semakin mudah pekerjaan anda, dan semakin berharga "nilai diri" anda. Percaya deh, mutu kehidupan pun akan meningkat ;)

Seperti dalam General Meeting terakhir, anda "besok" adalah anda "sekarang", karena "besok" pada hari nya akan menjadi "sekarang". Jadi jangan buang waktu lagi. Mulai target 10,000 jam anda sekarang :).

NOTE: Many thanks to HRD kantor saya yang sudah mengijinkan saya share salah satu "internal employment motivation note" ini. It's a gem!

*Picture taken from acus.org

Saya Bukan Supermodel, Terus Kenapa?

Sudah lihat iklan terbaru sebuah slimming product di TV Indonesia? Tag line (dan judul lagu pengiringnya): Live your dream.
Ermm... Maksudnya ada gitu yang Dream/Mimpinya cuma sekedar kurus? Wow. Sementara mimpi saya bisa keliling Indonesia dan mimpi teman saya bisa lebih kaya dari Soeharto. LOL yeah, i'm being quite a bitch here. Ga masalah pengen kurus dan langsing, tapi mungkin bisa lihat iklan Body Shop dibawah ini:



Yup, ada 3 Milyar wanita yang ga seperti supermodel dan hanya 8 yang memang supermodel. Jadi buat apa repot-repot?

Body Shop dan Dove adalah 2 company yang sangat saya sukai, karena sejauh ini iklan mereka sangat mendidik. Saya ga bilang anda salah atau absurd bila anda mati-matian ingin kurus/seperti supermodel, saya pengen anda menyadari bahwa anda ga seperti supermodel pun tidak apa-apa kok. Bila anda kelebihan atau kekurangan daging/lemak di bagian tertentu, it's perfectly fine selama itu masih kategori sehat bukan? Itu disebut normal :D

Masalah body image buat saya adalah masalah di dalam kepala kita, bukan badan kita. Kalau anda merasa nyaman dengan diri anda, dengan pribadi anda, saya berani taruhan anda tak akan repot-repot memikirkan berapa kalori yang anda habiskan saat makan siang hari ini. Sebaliknya, bila anda tidak merasa percaya diri dan benci diri anda, anda akan sibuk menghitung kalori, mengeluh, dan bahkan merencanakan operasi plastik/botox berikutnya. Why hurt yourself?

Mungkin anda berpikir bahwa saya cuma bisa ngomong saja, toh saya juga chubby dan penuh, ahem, lekukan :). Saya pernah lho kurus, jadi saya tahu memang mungkin untuk menurunkan berat badan dengan ekstrim. Yang diperlukan cuma jalan kaki kemana-mana, naik turun buanyak jembatan penyebrangan di Jakarta, regulasi porsi makanan, dan tekad balas dendam yang kuat. In the end saya turun hampir 10 kg hanya dalam 3 bulan, dan saya terlihat begitu sexy dan sehat. Lalu saya bosan, dan chubby lagi deh hehehe. It's ok, I'm a sensualist and enjoy my dining thoroughly ;)

Mau langsing atau berlekuk, itu bisa diatur dan benar-benar pilihan anda pribadi (walau ada beberapa tipe badan yang terlahir dengan tulang besar dan/atau dasarnya chubby). Namun selalu ingat, tidak apa apa kok untuk tidak memiliki bodi supermodel. Saya percaya orang yang pantas (baca: beradab) akan melihat diri kita dari hati kita, jiwa kita, dan hanya orang dangkal yang melihat dari penampilan kita. Bila anda suka dengan diri anda sendiri, tutup telinga anda dari omongan negatif dan nikmatilah hidup anda. Live your dream.

Free Will - Hiduplah dengan bebas!

"Free Will"

Free will atau keinginan bebas mungkin adalah kata terindah buat saya. Yeah, saya suka kebebasan saya. Sebegitu sukanya sampai saya memilih untuk single daripada bersama pasangan yang mengekang saya. I know, I'm psycho hahaha...

Apa sih "free will" itu? Free will atau keinginan bebas buat saya adalah kondisi dimana kita mampu memilih untuk melakukan atau TIDAK melakukan sesuatu. Free will adalah kebebasan untuk mengenakan rok mini disaat semua memakai rok panjang; kebebasan untuk memilih tidak merebonding rambut disaat semua orang memiliki rambut lurus menawan; kebebasan jalan-jalan sendirian di pantai atau tempat romantis lainnya tanpa pasangan; kebebasan memilih pekerjaan, pasangan, atau apapun yang kita inginkan.



"Free Will" bukanlah keegoisan tingkat tinggi yang melakukan sesuatu tanpa peduli orang lain, ataupun pilihan yang diambil berkat paksaan dari pihak-pihak luar. Kalau saya memaksa mengenakan baju terbuka di dalam tempat ibadah orang, saya bukan melakukan "Free Will" saya, tapi cuma nyusahin orang aja. Kalau saya memilih mengenakan baju tertutup karena saya takut dilempari batu atau dianggap "berbeda", itu jelas bukan "Free Will" saya.

Jadi apa yang diperlukan untuk memiliki "Free Will"? Kekuatan diri sendiri untuk berkata "YA!" atau "TIDAK", untuk memutuskan sesuatu dan berani menerima resikonya. Contoh praktis: Saya memilih untuk datang ke acara keluarga dengan segala konsekuensi yang mungkin timbul:
- saya dikejar-kejar orang sekantor karena ada kerjaan yang tertinggal
- ketemu saudara juuaaaaaauh yang tidak menyenangkan
- kenalan sama temannya saudara yang ganteng (ahem ;) )
Dari tiap keputusan yang kita ambil, banyak hal yang bisa timbul. Kemampuan untuk tetap memilih melakukan (atau tidak melakukan) sesuatu itu lah "Free Will" kita, kebebasan sejati kita.

Sekarang saya mau mengajak anda untuk berpikir, untuk merenung. Indonesia resminya sudah 66 tahun merdeka, namun sudahkah anda benar-benar bebas merdeka? Sudahkan anda memiliki "Free Will"? Bebas untuk memilih agama yang anda anut dan bukan hanya mengikuti keluarga; bebas untuk memilih merk hape yang anda butuhkan dan tidak hanya ikut selera pasar; bebas untuk mengepak koper/ransel dan liburan sendiri saat anda benar-benar jenuh di kantor; bebas untuk berpikir: "Ah peduli amat. Ini toh ga ngeganggu orang lain. I'm gonna do it!". Kalau belum, mungkin sudah saatnya anda mencoba membebaskan diri anda. Hiduplah dengan bebas, hiduplah dengan bahagia :)

Note: image taken from sugarshockblog.com

Bekerja untuk Hidup, Bukan Sebaliknya

"weekend dan hari2 biasa sama aja....tetep pulang KERJA jam 6..........ENEG!!!PINGIN MUNTAH KARNA KERJAAN!!!"

Ada yang ngerasa pernah post status FB kaya begini? Pasti banyak ya hehehehe.... Dengan segala masalah hidup saya (dari mulai ketidak-mampuan beli koleksi buku lengkap Lord of The Ring sampai kaos kaki yang dilarikan anjing tercinta) saya sungguh bersyukur saya belum pernah harus post status seperti itu :)).

Harus saya informasikan perusahaan tempat saya bekerja menerapkan standar tinggi, dan tahun pertama saya dihabiskan dengan bolak-balik kena celana pendek (brief-ing) plus mengulang proyek yang sama sampai benar. Tapi satu hal yang berbeda dengan perusahaan kebanyakan: I love this company :)



Kalau kata pepatah populer, "Jangan bekerja demi uang, biarkan uang yang bekerja untuk kita". Tapi yang dianut kantor saya yang sekarang adalah: "Bekerjalah dengan sungguh-sungguh, maka uang akan menghampiri". Sesuai dengan prinsip yang dianut,kantor saya menginginkan pegawainya bekerja dengan sungguh-sungguh, karena itu akan baik bagi perusahaan dan juga baik bagi kami. Dan pegawai akan dapat bekerja dengan sungguh-sungguh bila mereka bahagia. Dengan kata lain,kebahagiaan klien kami utama,namun kebahagiaan pegawai pun harus dijaga. Mulai sirik?

Pernah merasa malaaaaaas sekali berangkat kerja atau kepepet ada urusan penting? Di kantor saya yang sekarang saya punya hak mengambil jatah kelebihan jam saya, jadi kalau saya tiba-tiba ingin tidak masuk misalnya, atau datang terlambat/pulang cepat karena kangen kucing saya, semua bisa diatur selama tidak ada kerjaan yang harus diselesaikan. Sampai saat ini bos saya tak pernah bertanya kemana saya waktu saya kabur selama 2 minggu di akhir tahun kemarin :D.

2 minggu sekali kami selesai bekerja lebih awal dan duduk bersama menikmati snack sementara host yang terpilih (di undi tiap acara) menghibur dengan games atau kegiatan lain. Dan saat saya menyebutkan party, jangan membayangkan party yang penuh minuman keras atau music dance semalam suntuk. Party kita adalah ber-cosplay ria, barbeque bersama-sama, pokoknya melakukan hal-hal yang ga lazim atau istilah kerennya think outside the box. Pernah melihat mbok jamu pegang DSLR atau putri India motong bawang? Yup,that's our party LOL.

Saya ga akan bohong, terkadang bos saya bersikap sebagaimana bos lazimnya (menyebalkan dan ga bisa dibilangin,but hey, they paid me :p ), dan seringkali rekan kerja saya membuat saya ingin menbenturkan kepala saya (atau kepala mereka) ke tembok, dan belum lagi klien yang kadang bikin saya depresi berat. Namanya juga kerja,pastilah mengalami hal ini.Bedanya,saya hanya harus mengalaminya sampai jam 5 teng. Ok, kadang-kadang lewat dikit, tapi kami tidak pernah harus membawa pekerjaan kerumah, atau lembur sampai larut malam untuk mengerjakan. Aturan tak resmi kantor kami: "It's 5 o'clock. Now back to your own life and get off from mine."

Kebijakan dan kebebasan ini membuat saya bebas melakukan apa yang ingin saya lakukan, menikmati kehidupan saya sendiri dan mengembangkannya semau saya,karena kantor ya kantor dan rumah ya rumah. Sementara prinsip general welfare (termasuk freebies dan fasilitas lain yang saya dapatkan) membuat saya bisa fokus pada pekerjaan saya. Life (at the office) is good.

Beberapa perusahaan internasional seperti Zappos menerapkan prinsip ini, bahwa kebahagiaan pegawai yang utama. Seorang karyawan Zappos menuturkan ia ditawari USD 3000 oleh Zappos untuk keluar dari perusahaan tersebut sebagai suatu bentuk tes. Dia menolak, kebahagiaan nya saat bekerja berharga lebih dari USD 3000. Saya berulangkali ditawarkan (dan dibujuk) untuk mencari pekerjaan yang, ahem, lebih bergengsi dan lebih menghasilkan. Saya masih di perusahaan ini sampai sekarang, dan ya,walau gaji saya tak setinggi teman-teman saya di kantor ternama tapi saya juga tidak berkekurangan. Uang akan datang seiring dengan pekerjaan yang kita lakukan :)

Apakah saya beruntung? Mungkin. Tapi mari jangan berpikir bahwa ini masalah keberuntungan semata. Poin disini adalah karyawan yang bahagia adalah karyawan yang loyal, yang produktif; dan sebenarnya tak perlu budget besar untuk membuat pegawai bahagia. Anda bisa membuat kehidupan kerja anda lebih nyaman dengan memperhatikan sesama rekan kerja anda, dan bila anda manajer/kepala/pemilik perusahaan yakinlah bahwa fasilitas-fasilitas ekstra yang anda berikan bisa lebih bermanfaat dalam jangka panjang daripada bonus melimpah.

Kebetulan kantor anda dan rekan kerja anda benar-benar neraka? Mungkin anda harus mencontek klien saya. Saya sangat shock saat tahu pasangan yang tampak seperti rockers tersebut bekerja di bidang keuangan. Saat saya mengutarakannya mereka tertawa dan berkata, "Kami hanya bersikap dan berpenampilan profesional saat kami dituntut untuk profesional, atau saat kami dibayar untuk itu. Selain itu, kami ya kami." Tahu nggak, mereka benar. Kerja itu untuk hidup, baik secara materil maupun rohani, dan bukan hidup untuk kerja. Selamat menikmati pekerjaan eh hidup anda ya....

Note:Picture taken from http://hr.ucsb.edu/worklife/