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Tuesday, March 20, 2018

At The Mattress Store

Clerk: Here, this is the best pillow and you should have it.

Me [touching it]: Oh wow. It does feel amazing.

Clerk: I will go wrap it for you, then.

Me: Oh no, thanks. I don't need it right now.

Clerk: What are you talking about? This pillow is amazing.

Me: Yeah, but I am not looking for pillow right now.

Clerk: This is the best pillow ever, and you should be grateful you found it.

Me: But I don't need one right now, at least not this one.

Clerk: Do you know how many women out there have to sleep with shitty pillow?

Me: Well, that's their business and not mine. I have my preferences.

Clerk: I am trying to remind you how lucky you are to find this extremely comfortable pillow.

Me: Pillows are supposed to be comfortable. What's the big deal?

Clerk: You think you are too good for this pillow?

Me: I think I am not interested.

Clerk: One of these days you will look back and regret not taking this one-of-a-kind pillow.

Me: I sure am. As soon as I forget about the pushy clerk who tried to make me feel bad about not choosing his pillow just because I am not interested. Which is unlikely. 

Clerk: Please stop wasting my time.

Me: Uhh… Well… Okay. 

Clerk: You should be ashamed for not choosing this incredible pillow.

Me: I thought we are done? Please stop wasting *my* time.

Clerk: Wow. You are rude. I hope you are happy with your shitty pillow choices.

Me: [Walking away, decidedly never return]

Clerk [texting friend]: A customer just lead me on and then ghosted me! Where is manner these days??

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