Insecurity

Sometimes I want to be somebody else

A little skinnier, perhaps

Less pudgy fat and ugly rolls

Tummy that doesn't bulge

Thigh without stretchmarks

A little smoother, perhaps

Manicured hand and pedicured feet

Skin soft like silk and all aglow

Smell that rivals a thousand roses

A little prettier, perhaps

Perfect complexion and flawless skin

Makeup as beautiful as painting

Smile that launched a thousand ships

But why do I need to change?

Isn't my laughter contagious?

Don't I bring the summer with me?

Am I not making people happy?

Why wouldn't it be enough,

I thought defiantly

Enough that I care, Enough that I love

Enough that I am what I am

[But that's not why you don't change,

Said a gentle voice in me

You don't change not because of love

You don't change because of fear]

[A skin care or workout routine is nothing

Not to a strong mind like yours

An all-in body treatment is affordable

You are smart enough to find a way]

[But rejection is a different matter

When you have done so much

Yet the perfect you still got rejected

That is a heavier burden to bear]

[So why change? Why go extra?

At least you have excuse if rejected

"It's my physique, it's how I look"

Instead of admitting it is you, all along]

[Chin up, girl, because you are perfect

Bees attracted to different flowers

That doesn't mean any of the flowers

are less beautiful or imperfect]

[Change if you must, if you want

But do it for yourself and your growth

Do it for the sake of achievement

But not for chasing "Happily ever after"]

As usual my conscience is right

To the right person I'm alright

But what am I to me?

Have I really accept myself?

If I want to change myself I could

I just need to stop being scared

It is ok if people rejected me

It is not for them anyway, but for me

That "somebody else" will still be me

Different look or style or attitude

Yet the same person inside

Merely experimenting with life

Now wouldn't that be fun and exciting?