Grief

Today I grieved. Again.

It is so exhausting, isn't it?

The crashing waves that shook your boat

Just when you think the sea is calm

The journey is good

And you are safe

But oh no here comes the wave

Salt water on your wound

Cold and soaked through your bone

Unspeakable pieces of, uh, something?

You wanted to cry

You thought you did so well

You have been brave

You did your best

And the wave just crashing down

What a loser I am

Crying over a wave of grief

I wasn't taught to be weak

Nor does the grief deserving my attention

I should do better

But what if, what if

What if me crying is not a sign of weakness

It's a sign of strength

Of how deeply I love

How strongly I care

What if I didn't cry for inconvenience of the present

But for what things could be

For the promise of the future

That now will never be

Sigh. This sucks.

My clothes are dry

My boat is moving

All that's left is my journey

I shall move on

The wave will come crashing again

But I will be ready

Maybe not the next one

Definitely sometime in the future

The sea is vast

My journey is long

I will keep moving on.