I'm sorry. But I hate you. A lot.

I hate you. I hate all of you.

Sometimes I just don't understand why you come tromping down like bunch of trolls to my country, and bitch about us afterwards as you did here. Sure, we're not perfect; sure, we're a developing country; sure, we're a bit backward on so-called-proper (western) civilization; heck, like it matters?

Have you ever stop to think that those cringe hotels and hawkers and pushy transportation were there exactly because you supply them with demands? Have you ever try to even ask your boarding/accommodation whether they have the proper permit to build there and run the business? Why call us corrupt when you gleefully take advantage of our corruption (and by the way, what did you call Maddoff then? Ha ha)? Why cursing our corrupt police men for nailing you with traffic ticket and drugs, when we are in danger of even more severe penalty for that "simple" offense in your home country?

I revise my statement. I hate you if you come here just to be a bitch in my land (men included). I welcome you as a civilized guest though, one that manage to be polite the entire time they are visiting, and even after. You don't want someone to come and bitch at your house, why do it in ours? Think I'm alone in this? Hell no. Read it here, uncivilized guests are a disgrace to their own kin. My friend from South Africa shudder in disgust when he got a pat in the back with a drunken guy, which said to him, "Hullo, mate!".

He and his wife treat me equal, treat me like a human being, and I am very much looking forward for their annual visit. If you are not capable to treat people on the country you're visiting humanely and equally, if you are not capable to honor and respect the country your visiting (and regard it as someone else's home), then by all means stay in your country. You're just not civilized enough to see the world.

Stop Lebay, Mas...

"...and to be honest I don't like crowded places especially that I'm a photographer, you'll not be able to take a decent photographs without someone disturbing you." - Komentar di sebuah artikel mengenai air terjun di Bali (e-mail saya untuk link lengkapnya).

Oke, noted! Seorang "photographer" perlu spot yang tenang, yang tak terganggu oleh orang-orang demi mendapatkan hasil yang bagus. Tapi bukankah spot-spot tersebut biasanya, erm... , milik umum, yang berarti orang lain punya hak untuk nongkrong di sana??

Yes, I'm being a bitch. Komentar di atas bisa saja diartikan bahwa dia lebih suka lokasi foto yang tenang (coba ke Kuburan Jeruk Purut barangkali?), dan saya saja yang lebay. Namun saya selalu merasa tergelitik (kesal) kalau mendengar orang flaunting/memamerkan, "yeah, berhubung gue fotografer..." atau " wajar kan, secara gue blogger..." atau "sori aja ya, gue tuh dokter..." etc. Oh God....

Yup, saya tahu anda berprofesi sebagai apapun itu namun maaf, entah mengapa saya ga impress atau terkesan. Ingat ilmu padi? Semakin berisi semakin merunduk. Kayanya semua maestro dunia (atau orang-orang yang hebat di bidangnya) ga ada yang mamerin what they're good at. They're just so damn good with what they do (Bill gates, Steve Jobs, Donald Trump, etc), mereka ga perlu menjelaskan kepada dunia tentang kebisaan mereka. Dunia sudah tahu. Sebaliknya, yang repot-repot pamer biasanya mengikuti pepatah lainnya: "tong kosong nyaring bunyinya". Anda yang mana?

Hidup Menu Indonesia!

Menu monster. Es krim yogurt dengan selai stroberi, honey star, rice crispies, mochi stroberi, dan potongan kiwi (satu-satunya yang tampak agak ‘sehat’ di campuran ini. Saya benci kalorinya, saya benci harganya, saya cinta rasanya. I. LOVE. IT.

Saya tidak pernah bisa mengerti istilah “diet”. Buat saya makan ya makan. Selama menu yang boleh dimakan, dan selama ga bikin susah orang, I’ll eat anything. Kalau pakaian sudah mulai sempit dan dompet sudah mulai kosong, sudah saatnya ngerem. Semudah itu. Dan cara lain yang paling jitu? Stop semua makanan ‘bule’ dan hanya makan menu asli Indonesia. Sehat bo’!

Lucu banget,paling tidak buat saya, melihat berbagai tulisan tentang “pola makan yang sehat”. Bukan pola makannya yang lucu, namun menu dan informasi yang ditulis jelas-jelas copy-paste dari artikel luar. Saya pernah menemukan artikel “Mudik Sehat”, yang intinya menyarankan para pemudik untuk makan apel dan keju. Hmm, ini kita membicarakan pemudik yang sama yang naik motor ber-3 dalam 1 motor kan? Lalu artikel “Penganan sehat” yang isinya antara lain popcorn, seledri + dipping, apel + selai kacang. Serius benda-benda ini adalah makanan umum di Indonesia??

Nope, saya ga anti makanan asing. I eat anything, remember? Saya cuma ingin mengkampanyekan enak dan sehatnya makanan asli Indonesia. Saya percaya penuh dengan teori evolusinya Charles Darwin, bahwa mahluk hidup menyesuaikan diri dengan sekitarnya, termasuk soal makanan. Secara logika buat saya tidak masuk akal bahwa menu makan orang asing lebih baik dari menu tradisional kita; karena bagaimanapun juga tubuh kita sudah terbiasa dengan menu tersebut selama entah berapa ratus atau bahkan ribu tahun. Gado-gado (yang variasinya antara lain pecel, ketoprak, tahu tek, tipat cantok), ikan asin, tahu-tempe, urap, dan masih banyak lagi. Teman saya dari South Africa sampai repot-repot berusaha mengimpor tempe karena begitu sukanya dia dengan menu ini.

Ini baru dari segi bahan baku, apalagi dari segi porsi. Sampai saat ini saya belum pernah melihat menu Indonesia yang dagingnya disajikan utuh layaknya steak. Rendang yang terkenal saja hanya disajikan dalam potongan-potongan kecil. Bila anda pernah mencermati menu nasi campur anda, isinya adalah sedikit-sedikit dari semua menu. Pernah ada yang iseng menghitung kalorinya? Saya yakin ga akan seheboh menu Barat yang penuh daging dan sebagainya.

So yeah, menu kita menyehatkan (dari segi bahan baku dan cara pemasakan), rendah kalori (saya ga punya bukti sayangnya, namun kalau saya melihat kecenderungan rendahnya tingkat obesitas di masyarakat Indonesia dahulu harusnya menu ini sesuai dengan kebutuhan kalori kita), dan….. (ini yang paling penting) Ramah lingkungan! Ayolah, masuk akal kan? Sementara menu barat isinya “daging 200 gr” untuk 1 porsi, saya yakin ibu-ibu Indonesia bisa dengan mudah menggunakan daging itu untuk 4 porsi, atau bahkan 5. Jadi sebenarnya kita makan lebih sedikit daging, dan dengan begitu lebih sedikit berperan dalam kerusakan lingkungan. Hidup makanan tradisional!

Saya pernah hidup di kota besar, dan saya tahu sulitnya mencari makanan asli Indonesia yang dimasak dengan benar, bukan yang dimasak sembarangan dan dengan pengawet berlimpah. Kalau boleh saya sarankan, ambil sedikit waktu anda dan coba memasak saat akhir minggu; ajak rekan-rekan anda untuk mengkonsumsi penganan tradisional dan bukan hanya pastry gurih. Biarkan menu tradisional ini terus hidup lewat dapur anda, lewat kesadaran anda. Bagaimanapun juga, menu kita sehat dan irit beib. Selamat bersenang-senang!

Foto-foto beragam menu makanan saya

Mind your Business, Mr. Save The Earth, Sir.

http://news.yahoo.com/greenpeace-condemns-indonesia-deportation-115529212.html

"Greenpeace on Friday accused Indonesia of waging a vendetta against the environmental group, after the head of its British branch was denied entry to Jakarta to campaign against deforestation.

In recent years, Greenpeace has run several campaigns against Indonesia-based Sinar Mas, a privately owned paper and palm oil giant which environmental groups accuse of illegally logging swathes of carbon-rich and biodiverse forests.

Greenpeace campaigns have seen the likes of Unilever, Kraft, Burger King and Barbie maker Mattel cut supply chains from Sinar Mas companies, including Asia Pulp & Paper, one of the world's largest paper makers."

Remind me again why this "brutal" Sinar Mas Group is doing so many deforestation? Oh right, to supply palm oil for s0-called western-standard products which were then being distributed and heavily advertised to poor under-develop or undeveloped countries as a "you-are-not-civilized-if-you-do-not-use-this-product". You know, items like lab-prepared burgers, cheesy snacks, dolls that makes you wish you lost a few ribs to look like her, all the essential items in life. You know, countries like Indonesia. Oh wait, isn't that the country which the people and "Sinar Mas" savagely deforested their ancient forest and which Greenpeace comes to rescue? Such twisted delight.

Yeah, I confess I may have a grudge towards the organization ever since their fundraiser haggles me for funds. Appreciate that what's fundraiser do, but it leaves a bitter taste as she somehow makes me think that I'm not saving the world by not donating for the group. I did try to, as a matter of fact, in my own way. And now this news makes me even more bitter.

Thank you for trying to save the world, oh great organization. But how about cleaning up your backyard's first before you harass other people's patio? As I pointed out above, we're (the so-called-undeveloped-countries) are merely the supplier. The world hasn't change, the slavery is still live and thriving; back then we got measly food but no salary, now we have salary enough only to buy that measly food. Back then we are forced to destroy our forest for sugar-cane plantation, now we are forced to destroy our forest for palm plantation you so hate about. The old ways of living in Indonesia does not need that many sugar cane, nor that many palm oil. You asked us to.

At this point I know someone would argue, "The Indonesian should know the danger of global warming, Indonesian should take action!". You know, NO Indonesian (or any right-mind person) interested in destroying the forest. The locals love the forest so. And beside, we have better things to do. Yes, we're doing it for the money, but before you argue I would love dearly to see other organizations that fights back deforestation to be in our shoe. Our so-called uncivilized people earn money from it. Not ridiculous amount of money that literally makes you able to swim in it like Scrooge McDuck, but only enough to make ends meet and prevent death from hunger. The ones that made real money are our corporate dudes, not unlike your own corporate dudes which you were so busy protesting now in Wall Street. I have strong suspicion that they are related, perhaps even tied by blood. Our sweat and blood, that is. Go haggle them instead. It's so easy to talk and shout and condemn people for not taking action when you don't have 5, 6 hungry children plus a malnourished wife you love so dearly waiting for your to bring some food home.

Get this. You want to save the planet, you go and negotiates with the consumers instead of go haggling the suppliers. Demand stops, supply stops. Simple and clear. It's not fair that you force us to leave (perhaps) the only way for us to make money, just because several million or so "educated people" can't live a day without their daily dose of burgers. Facts that un(der)developed countries are the biggest consumer? Well yeah, you kinda force feed us. Just like a toddler that has absolutely no clues of the "joy" of junk food, until their parents give it to them (or keep feeding them,to be exact). Junk food makes toddler happy and parents' doesn't need to cook, your items makes us happy and make loads of money for the sales. We've been free for 66 years, Developed countries such as USA have been free for 300-something years. Guess who's the parents.

By the way, have you tried browsing our traditional way of life? Just like the oh-so-precious yoga you'll find them environmentally friendly, sustainable, dirt cheap, and overall awesome. The famous Rendang, for instance, is made by beef but we only ate very little per portion compared to the heavy steaks or even deluxe burgers people so fond of wolfing down. Any prestige on chowing down a piece of rendang? Nope. Any prestige on sporting a massive submarine? Hell yeah. Instead of chaining your self to a tree or chasing down a whale boat you might want to stop and ponder on the marvel of traditional way of life. You might want to focus on advertising the goodness of the traditional way of life. You might want to, you know, perhaps (and a very big perhaps it is), think of what our people should do to make ends meet other than destroying the forest for some measly cents. And then, perhaps, we might save the world.

Going in circle? Make it stop.

Diskusi saya malam ini berubah menjadi ajang curhat online saat teman saya dengan emosi menceritakan pacar sepupunya yang masih SMA datang bertandang sampai larut malam. "Mereka masih SMA gitu lho," ceritanya dengan semangat, "emang orangtua perempuan itu ga ngeliatin apa anaknya, main kerumah lelaki malam-malam??". Dengan polos saya bertanya, "Bukannya kamu juga sering bawa Aa mu kerumah sampai malam?" - rumah dia dan sepupunya kebetulan berdekatan - namun ia menjawab, "Dia juga sering lihat ipar-iparku dan sepupunya bawa pacar mereka ke rumah malam-malam, kenapa aku yang disalahin???". Errm, terus kenapa marah, batin saya. Namun saya cuma bisa melongo sampai rokok saya padam.

Ada pepatah dalam bahasa Inggris: "two wrongs don't make a right". Dua kesalahan tidak akan membuat satu kebaikan, salah ya salah sebenarnya (walaupun saya percaya tidak ada benar-salah yang mutlak kecuali dari Tuhan). Dalam kasus teman saya, dia tahu tindakan saudara-saudaranya salah, namun dia tetap melakukannya dengan alasan 'yang lain juga!', dan akhirnya saudaranya yg lain juga ikutan. Ganti 'pacar' dengan 'alkohol', 'obat bius', 'putus sekolah', atau apapun yg anda suka; intinya tetap sama : bila anda tahu sesuatu itu salah, mengapa anda tidak berubah dan memutuskan lingkaran itu, dan bukan malah membuat lingkaran baru?

Rasanya jawabannya karena lebih mudah menyalahkan seseorang, jadi kenapa repot-repot? Ini jawaban yang tidak valid sebenarnya. Kalau anda melihat orang didepan anda jatuh ke lobang, namun anda tetap mengambil jalan yang sama dan akhirnya masuk ke lobang yang sama, anda tidak berhak menyalahkan dia karena memberi jalan yg salah atau tidak menginfokan adanya lubang. Lho anda sudah lihat sendiri toh?

Tidak seperti species lain dalam kingdom animalia, manusia memiliki kemampuan imajinasi, yang bisa diaplikasikan sebagai kemampuan untuk membayangkan masa depan. Jadi kenapa tidak digunakan dan malah ikut sesuatu yang hasilnya buruk cuma dengan alasan, "habis yang lain juga...!" Gazelle afrika saja jadi lebih hati-hati minum disungai setelah rekannya diterkam buaya, masakan manusia tidak lebih cerdas daripada gazelle dan dengan pedenya terus terjerumus/menjerumuskan diri?

Pikiran manusia adalah tempat favorit saya untuk berjalan-jalan, tiap manusia memiliki pikiran yang unik dan beragam, yang saya nikmati apa adanya tanpa berusaha terlalu jauh mengerti (saya saja masih sering tidak mengerti pikiran saya sendiri). Atas dasar itulah saya tidak terlalu peduli akan teman saya yang kekeh menjalani lingkaran setan-nya. Suka-suka dia lah. Namun demi ketentraman sesi diskusi saya malam-malam, saya berharap anda yang membaca ini akan lebih pandai dan mampu memutus lingkaran setan anda, apapun permasalahannya, dan bukan hanya sanggup dan/atau maunya membeo : "habis yang lain juga...!"

Salam!

In the name of God

At darkest moments like this, where sea of emotion swept me away and misery engulf me, towering like contemptous wall of darkness around me, at moments like this I can feel Him next to me.

I can feel Him stroking my hair lovingly; lift my chin up and kiss my forehead gently. I can feel Him put His arms around my shoulders protectively, look me in the eye and as He wipe my tears He smile and say: "You are with me, my child. Fear not, distress not, as I love you. I always do." And with that, I found peace.

In the name of God I shall prevail; I shall not fail His test, his task. In the name of God I will make it; will break free from this hatred emotion and bathe in His love instead. In the name of God I shall walk, for I am His child, as all things dead or alive in this universe. I love you, God.