Man vs Gentleman

Ngebaca kolom Parodi Samuel Mulia di Kompas Minggu, November 28, 2010 bikin saya terenyak. Dan terharu. Ide saya tentang gentleman ternyata bukan cuma delusi saya belaka.

Di kolom itu Samuel, a self-proclaimed binan, menceritakan sudut pandang dia (yang notabene pria) tentang pria-pria yang melakukan KDRT. Menurut Samuel, "Pada kenyataannya, wanita itu sangat-sangat berdaya. Berdaya untuk melambungkan dan menjatuhkan pria..." dan "Kalau melihat mahkluk yang katanya lemah itu bisa mengancam, paling mudah adalah menggampar sebelum terancam." Read the complete story here. Yang setuju sama pendapat mas Samuel angkat tangan :)

Walau ga dibahas sama mas Samuel, KDRT juga bisa berupa ancaman verbal, atau siksaan lisan. Ini juga sama penyebabnya, sebelum wanita jadi lebih oke daripada pria, lebih baik dibungkam dulu sebelum kalah. Walau ga ada luka fisik yang kasat mata, kekerasan secara verbal ini bisa lebih melumpuhkan dan merusak, karena kita ga tau seberapa sakitnya orang yang dilukai tersebut.

Apakah KDRT ini bisa ditolerir? Jelas tidak. Dalam bentuk apapun. Banyak pria yang dengan bangga menepuk dada, "Saya tidak. Kan saya gentleman." Tunggu sebentar, apa iya? Apa bedanya man dan gentleman? Menurut mas Samuel, "A man adalah laki-laki. Itu saja. A gentleman artinya orang yang mengerti sopan santun. Being a gentleman is actually doing the right things in life and society." Kalau cuma baik sama perempuan yang cantik atau orang-orang yang bakal diminta bantuannya, ini jelas bukan gentleman, dan saya ga kan berharap pria-pria macam ini mau menolong wanita yang terjajah (kecuali yang cantik tentunya). A gentleman bakal stood up dan ga kan membiarkan wanita terjajah. As simple as that.

Jadi kalau anda adalah seorang pria, please, be a gentleman. Jangan ngejajah wanita dan jangan biarkan wanita terjajah. Ibu kalian wanita juga lho... at least do it for your mums. Kalau anda seorang wanita, ingat bahwa anda berhak diperlakukan dengan baik. Kekerasan terhadap perempuan dalam bentuk apapun ga bisa ditolerir, jadi jangan menolerir itu, apalagi dengan bumbu "cinta". Love doesn't hurt. Love never hurts.


NOTE: Kolom "Parodi" by Samuel Mulia diterbitkan di Kompas tiap hari Minggu. Don't miss it :)

(The Art of) Getting Lost

I.Crave.Ubud

I really do.

Intoxicated by my previous success on (re)discovering Kutuh Beach and a trip to Tabanan, I was eager for more adventures and Ubud looks like a perfect spot. Loving the lush greeneries, the art, and the ancient touch of Bali. I picture it as a pilgrimage, back to the Bali before time (and commercialism). But my so-called bright idea was denied flat by my Mum :p.




Many Balinese would think my mum's refusal to allow me on a motorcycle trip to Ubud (by myself) is a complete nonsense. After all, most Balinese did this trip regularly, some even go waaaaay further during Holy Days and some do it in daily basis. But then again, I can understand her reason as well. Though it may sound sissy and spoiled, but my mum's refusal is based on the fact I hardly know Bali. And hardly able to drive motorcycle properly. And inability to tell left from right too. And that I simply manage to got lost on almost every solo trip.

I personally will not allowed my friends or relatives to wander around in Jakarta by themselves, with all those busses and pickpockets and everything. Nevertheless, I can go perfectly well by myself there :). But when in Bali... Let's put it this way: last night I was busy building up an argument for my mum while driving to Meatball seller (tukang bakso), when suddenly it dawned me that I just took a wrong turn and end up at nearly the same spot where I start. Got lost just by going to Tukang bakso. Talking about street smart.

But no, it shall not stop me! (Drama mode on)...
All I need to do is take it easy, going a little further and further in separate occasion/trip. Not only to assure my Mum that I am reliable and understand the road and will definitely reach my destination, but also to assure my self that I can do all the above :). So be patient with me, I'm very much looking forward to write about my next adventures!

Indonesian Rice-Flour Dumplings a.k.a Kelepon!

Feel the texture of the banana leaves, and smell the fresh fragrance...
The triangle package is almost so tempting to break open, but you got to do it properly.
Like opening a package from your loved ones.. Slowly and whole-heartedly...



Pull the small stick that sealed the leaves together and voila... Kelepon!



Call me insane, but this Indonesian snack has always been my favorite. Kelepon, a.k.a rice flour dumplings with melted palm sugar center and finely shredded coconut topping. Yumm yumm yumm...! The first bite is chewy, and then the palm sugar burst in your mouth, with the coconut shreds for texture. So goody goody goody! Who needs English scones when you have these for tea??

The Impossible: Kutuh Beach

My friends from SA told me they're going to Koh Samui on their next holiday. It was really tempting, all the white sands and such, but I just found a better option: The impossible - Kutuh Beach. Why nick named impossible? Because it's rather impossible to get there (the road was quite a challenge!) and because it's simply impossible to forget...

Recommending a place to someone is always tricky. You'll never know whether it suits their taste or not. My heart went galloping all the way to this beach because it is really far from where we start. Thankfully my friend brace it like a gentleman should and didn't complain a bit for the whole one and a half hour drive (told you that was far!).But it sure paid off, when we're coming round the last bend through the carved hills and saw the beautiful Hindian Ocean spread above the cliff, it worth all the heat and back pain.



I must say that the beach have change a bit since the last time I went here, and now it has been touched by civilization. There are new villas development here and there, and a concrete sidewalk almost along the beach. Hate the villas, but the sidewalk enables us to drive our motorcycle right to the end of the accessible beach and enjoy the (almost) virgin view. No tourist, just us in our "ndeso"/village outfit and a couple of seaweed farmers. It's a real bliss.



My friend the adventurer quickly found a spot between the huge rocks where we can squeeze ourselves in to access another hidden beach. See the rock at the end of the beach on the picture above? There it is. I wouldn't dare to do so on my own, but I got my pride at stake that day, so off I go, jeans and all LOL.

And we found paradise.



The small opening on the rocks (left hand side) is where we enter. The hidden beach has everything you need: a semi-cave to shelter from the sun, jutting rocks to hang and dry your clothes (my jacket got all wet!), and best of all: no one else. Just you and the amazing view of the ocean.

We're just stoked. Eating our picnic snacks (soda and chips), smoking, talking a bit, but in the end we just silently stares at the huge ocean. The huge beautiful ocean. The water was nice too. It got dead seaweed floating, but it's still WAY cleaner than the other beaches which is full with plactic rubbish and other stuff you don't want to think about. Anyway, seaweeds not rubbish, it's quite natural ;).



There are several adjoining beach that can (almost) be access by squeezing through (a much) narrower and (definitely more) challenging path through the rocks, and we also explore there to gather sea shells (so childish, but it's fun!). There are several tracks that looks like snake's track and wild dogs footprints, so best beware.

It was so beautiful we were very reluctant to leave, but the tide's coming and there aren't any other choice. The path between the rocks that we came through was fast swallowed by the tide, and the waves splashing all over our clothes (and my previously dry jacket). It was quite perilous, so make sure that you bring a companion with you, and notably a dependable one.

I still dreamed about that beach for days to come. If you are ever in Bali, make sure to visit it. And visit it quick, before it is swallowed by the commercialism and villas developments, flocked by tourist and lost it's virginity. If you're there, please makesure you bring your rubbish home. Keep it clean, and keep it virgin :)

I love you, Indonesia

Before I dive at Great Barrier Reef I gotta dive at Raja Ampat first,
Before I visit the Carribean Islands I gotta visit Mentawai Islands first,
Before I hike the mountains of Nepal I gotta hike Semeru and Bromo first,
Before I solemnly pray at Incan Temple I gotta pray at Prambananan first,
Before I touch my hand on ancient rocks of Stonehenge I gotta touch the ancient rocks of Tana Toraja first,
Before I see the world from Tokyo tower I gotta see my country from Berhala Island's Lighthouse first,
Before I hear Big Ben struck I gotta hear Jam Gadang struck,
So much things to do in my beautiful country, what do you want to do first?

If I win a lottery, the first thing I'm gonna do (after buying mum a decent house and pay off all my bills) is travel around Indonesia, and take a different friend with me on each trip. So more people will appreciate what a gorgeous and great country we have.

Don't get wrong. I do wish I can go abroad too, especially to work. For pure fun: The Louvre, New Orleans, San Francisco, Southern France, Greece, Turkey, so many places that I want to go to. But first, I gotta go see my country.

Indonesia is a great country, an amazingly beautiful and obscenely rich country. If she's a girl, don't imagine her as one of the regal Duchess of Europe. Imagine her as the native island princess: exotic dark skinned lady, naive yet full of faith, with rough looking yet priceless gold and precious rock jewelry all over her, and the smile always on over her face for she always have what she needs and much more.

I know lots of you don't believe this, especially foreign people. An under-develop country, which rely on foreign donor to keep herself alive? A corrupt country, which everything needs to be settled with bribe? A barbaric country, where most people are downright uneducated and illiterate? Why yes. That is the side of Indonesia. But we have another side of the story.

The policies which Indonesian government made are not entirely correct or even Indonesia-friendly. Corruption and bribe are plague everywhere, even in mighty USA or strict Japan. Uneducated? Well, we're working on it. We really do. You have to remember than Indonesia is a young country, a mere fledgling. We're enormous in natural resources (you might even use the phrase "Behemoth"), but this giantess barely learn to walk, let alone run. It took USA hundreds of years before they elect the first black president (Hi Mr. Obama, I love you), the monarchy in UK is hundreds of years old as well, and we're only 65 years old. We were overrun for almost 400 years by 2 Colonialist who cares nothing except making profits by bleeding us to death (in terms of resources and also literally our fellow citizen), now we have some capitalists piggy back and drained us as well. it's a small wonder we're everything you called us above.

But the people of Indonesia are also strong people. Tsunami, major flood, volcanic activities, whatever happen we simply move on. The people of Merapi already getting ready to go back to their destroyed villages. The people of Wasior already buried their victims and start to live their live again. And yes, we work hand by hand to try help those people, especially the army and PMI.

If we have the ability to run our own resources and tourism (with government that really cares about Indonesia and her citizen), if we have the pride and knowledge of how powerful our country can be, if we can gathered IDR 10,000 from each citizen of Indonesia and use it (correctly) to fund our education, I am at awe on how far we could go. Imagine that your self.

The knowledge (technical, medical, everything!) of Indonesian heritage is outstanding: Borobudur, Prambanan, various medication to cure any ailment, you name it. The courage and the pride that our Indonesian ancestor has shown is breathtaking. The beauty of our country is enough to make even the most daredevil adventurer stands speechless. Unfortunately, many people don't realize this, or choose not to realize this. That's why I wanna go around Indonesia, to first handedly experience its beauty and marvel.

Luckily, some people start to realize it and try to raise Indonesian pride. One of the active one is Get Lost in Indonesia (twitter @getlostisgood ), which promotes Indonesia's beautiful sites and ask Losteners (their followers) to post their new-found stupendous sites of Indonesia. Any sites of Indonesia that is, all is good ;). Another one that I've just found is @palingindonesia . This twitter account tweets anything that is "very Indonesia" or "paling Indonesia". From information of the Indonesian heroes (Bung Tomo, anyone?) to simply good culinary pictures, everything is all about Indonesia.

I hope Indonesian can be proud of their own beautiful country. I hope everyone can help to make Indonesia stays as a beautiful country. From as little as not littering to trying hard to prevent us from drained by "investors", your help and care is needed. Most of all, show that you love Indonesia, cause she'll grow prettier and stronger, and love you in return. I love Indonesia.

I'm home...

The girl standing silently on the 3rd floor porch. Her eyes gazing towards the horizon, where planes busily take off and land. She seems oblivious to the slum below, just beyond the hotel room, or to the dark river running near it. A little smile broke off her indifferent face, "Riverview hotel indeed." she thought. From where she stands, she might be in Jakarta or other Sin City instead of Denpasar. She gazed lovingly to her dear friend who is praying inside the room. The airtight door separates the porch to the room inside, blocking the cold evening wind and the darkness that starts to fall. The light from a car passing below caught her attention, but then she look back to the horizon. Her cigarettes burning brightly in the night, she thought about the familiar scene, the familiar companion, and she whispered, "I'm home..."

If home is where the heart is, that means I have two homes. The first one is Bali, where the land and my ancestors call me (though I failed to listen most of the times), and the second one is Jakarta, where (almost) all of my friends are.
Many people that I met thinks I'm crazy for missing a city that is dearly polluted, heavily congested by automobiles and (sometimes) flood. Where the bad guys lurking in every corner, and pushy hawkers parade in every other road. But I spend almost all of my 20-something life there, and to me it's always gonna be my home.

My friend in Australia describes his first days in Sydney as "Awful. My stomach churns and I felt I can't breathe. It looks so dark and I don't know what to do, where to go. It's more to the fact that I know I have no one here than the new surroundings. Just want to lurk in the corner and go away, far away. Just wanna go home." I'm in Bali, the land of my ancestors, I shouldn't feel that way, right? Wrong.

Just like my friend, it was more about having no one here than about the new surroundings. Slowly but sure I adapt to the surrounding. The lament of having no movie theater disappear, new films aren't that good anyway. The frustration of having no affordable food fade away, as I embark in cheap yet satisfying culinary trips by my own. The skyscraper madness can't be ebbed away, but Bajra Sandhi is quite tall, and beaches are as vast as possible. Step by step, day by day, I feel at home in this island. But once I interact with the people, the homesick waves struck me again.

It didn't happen all the time, of course. But it happens. Especially to people that I so longed as friends. Mutual conversation is never as easy as it seems here. Where I exchange news around Jakarta, exchanging tips and anecdotes of our companies (he works in mining, I'm in sales, we manage ;) ), to the latest political stunts and tricks around the world. Here I could never get the conversation flight off from the line "where do you live?". It's not that I'm superior, heaven no. It's just because it was different. Like a chimpanzee being loose in the desert. He'll adapt to it, but it's just not his habitat. And I'm stranded here out side my habitat.

Every now and then my friends will come over to Bali. And for that brief moment, that luxurious moment, I'm home again. Body and soul. I said to all my friends I'll be back home on 2013, but before he flew back to Jakarta my friend smiled and say: See you back home in 2011. I will be home, soon.

Let's Pray!

Let's put our petty differences aside and unite in Prayer, shall we? Just a few seconds, let us unite in thought and kind wishes for our fellow Human. For me, it's for Merapi victims, and also Mentawai, and Wasior, and other unfortunate souls that suffer from the nature's wrath or other human's foolishness (and evil deeds/thoughts). Feel free to choose yours :)

Mari mengesampingkan perbedaan-perbedaan ga penting kita dan berdoa bareng yuk. Hanya untuk beberapa detik, mari bersatu dalam pikiran dan pengharapan baik bagi sesama Manusia. Bagi saya, ini untuk korban Merapi, dan Mentawai dan Wasior, dan juga orang malang lainnya yang menderita karena kemurkaan alam atau kebodohan sesama Manusia (dan perbuatan/pikiran jahatnya). Silakan memilih anda mau berdoa untuk apa :)



Why pray? Because:
1. It's Free.
Even air won't be free for long (judging from the current pollution rate).
2. It doesn't take time or effort.
You just need to have faith and sincerity. No strenuous strain needed, and a minute is long enough if you're doing it right.
3. It's the best investment ever.
You pray = you care. You care = God'll care you as well. God care for you is better than any health insurance or Medicare or Wall Street Investing. You'll get health, happiness and wealth all in the same package with low premium: a simple sincere prayer.

Don't care what you believe or what you called God: Allah, Hyang Widhi, The Mighty one, whatever, as long as you're praying sincerely, it definitely counts, both for the ones you're praying for and also for yourself. So let's pray :)

Beri kami cinta, namun juga beri kami makna!

Seorang TMIMM (kalau ga tau ini singkatan apa, read it here) kemarin mendekati saya, minta jadi teman dekat. Tapi cuma sebagai selingkuhan aja, karena dia punya istri plus pacar. FYI, dia baru ngaku punya istri setelah saya pojokin terus. Saya dengan semanis mungkin menjelaskan bahwa: a) seliar-liarnya saya, suami/pacar orang itu off limit. Saya ga mau nyakitin sesama cewek; dan b) saya itu semeton juga dan banyak Pedanda di Gria saya. Saya minta dia menghargai saya dan jangan main2 sama sesama semeton. Cari aja mainan lain, tapi jangan semeton. Tahu jawabannya? "Kalau ga mau ya bilang aja ga mau, jangan bawa2 kasta!"
Lho??? Piye iki??

Pria seperti ini, terlepas dari keturunannya, memang nyebelin dan ga tahu malu banget. Sudah punya istri (dan anak) mbok ya sudah, jangan masih kegatelan kesana kemari. Apalagi sampe ngaku2 bujangan. Namun entah kenapa di sini dianggap umum. Walau buat saya itu TETAP ga umum, tapi yang lebih menyakitkan adalah perkataannya terakhir. Saya hitungannya sedarah dengan dia, kenapa seolah saya tidak berhak dihormati? Apakah para TMIMM begitu superiornya sehingga TWTSM dianggap ga berarti dan boleh diapain aja? Kalau ya, mendingan lepas aja gelarnya dan biarkan TWTSM menikmati kebebasan mereka.

Bukan cuma tentang ini saja, ini juga tentang cerita-cerita dimana TWTSM diperlakukan dengan kurang hormat (ok, downright awful). Cerita-cerita tentang bagaimana upacara menikah TWTSM dibuat sesederhana mungkin sementara upacara menikah wanita non TWTSM dibuat seheboh mungkin, dengan payas agung dan banten lengkap seolah menyambut prami. Cerita-cerita tentang TWTSM yg sudah menikah dipanggil kasar atau dengan nada hinaan sementara istri-istri non TWTSM dilarang untuk dipanggil Jero dan diharuskan dipanggil "Gek". Have your own halloween stories? Put it here ;)

Buat yang sudah emosi jiwa, sabar dulu ya... Saya ga bilang bahwa non TWTSM tidak berhak diperlakukan dengan baik. Saya bener-bener ga peduli mereka mau diapain. Kalau memang dianggap mereka menantu/istri idaman, by all means go for it. Tapi jangan membuat mereka begitu berharga dengan merendahkan yang harusnya dihargai. Bukankah logikanya juga, terlepas dari siapa nama menantunya, bila menantu 1 mendapat upacara yang baik, sudah seharusnya menantu 2 mendapat yang sama baik? Ga pake diskon-diskon lah... apalagi kalau memang seharusnya secara keturunan pantas dihormati. Sejelek-jeleknya TWTSM yang masuk ke keluarga, yang ada di pasaran, sekurang-kurangnya mereka (otak, kaya, fisik, karir, apapun!), mereka share darah yang sama, sama-sama keturunan Ida Pedanda Sakti Wawu Rawuh.

Saya ga minta dihargai sampe disembah-sembah. Saya cuma ngerasa ini ga masuk akal aja. TWTSM dibilang ga boleh nikah keluar karena akan merusak darah, memutus darah dan ga bisa pulang ke Gria. Keluarga TWTSM yang kawin keluar pun dianggap tidak becus mengurus anak dan kerap jadi bahan pergunjingan. Tapi di sisi lain TWTSM yang menikah ke keluarga TMIMM pun tidak selalu diperlakukan dengan baik. Ada keluarga yang bahkan dengan pedenya berkata "ah, dia cuma bawa (maaf) V****a aja." walaupun TWTSM ini bukan hanya memiliki karir yang bagus, namun juga berasal dari gria yang penuh Pedanda. Berarti darah yang mengalir di TWTSM ga dianggap dong?

TWTSM juga sering mendapat pressure untuk menjadi sempurna: tutur kata, tindakan, banten, (dan bahkan terkadang) rekening bank. Saya sepenuhnya yakin ini untuk yang terbaik, agar kita bisa menjalankan tugas leluhur kita (walau saya ga terlalu yakin soal kekayaan) dan pendukung yang tepat bagi para TMIMM. Tapi bagaimana dengan TMIMM sendiri? Saya dalam kurun waktu 1 tahun sudah menemukan sedikitnya 5 TMIMM yang masih mengincar perempuan walau punya pasangan. Belum lagi yang dugem dan minum berlebihan. Belum lagi orang-orang seperti pria diatas, yang ga peduli walau dia TWTSM asal bisa jadi mainan. Harus diingat bahwa ga ada pedanda perempuan yang bisa naik sendiri. Mereka baru bisa naik bila pasangan mereka menjadi pedanda. Jadi siapa yang dilihat masyarakat? TMIMM. Siapa yang dengan sukses kelakuannya mencoreng nama kita? (kebanyakan) TMIMM. Tapi TWTSM lah yang mendapat tekanan dari lingkungan kita. Ini aneh. Jadi apa makna TWTSM kalau bahkan orang yang harusnya melindungi dan menghargai kita justru tidak menghargai kita?

Bila dilihat kasus-kasus diatas, TWTSM memang terlihat seperti ga ada harganya. Ga punya bargaining position dan hak, adanya cuma kewajiban. Tapi saya yakin sebenarnya bukan begitu. Saya sepenuhnya yakin kalau TWTSM pantas dihargai, dan kita harus berusaha agar TWTSM memang dihargai oleh sesama semeton. Saya ga setuju kalau ada yang berargumen "tergantung orangnya dong, pantas ga dihargain." Kalau memang demikian, cabut aja namanya, beres toh. Jangan lagi ada TWTSM. Kalau darah memang sedemikian berharganya sampai TWTSM dan TMIMM membawa beban kewajiban yang berat, bukankan sudah sewajarnya bila darah itu dihargai? Bukan hanya pria, namun juga wanita. Itu utang kita kepada Ida Pedanda Sakti Wawu Rawuh, karena dengan tidak menghargai sesama keturunan beliau, maka kita juga tidak menghormati beliau. Menghormati orang bukan suatu yang berat kok. Cuma perlu BANYAK latihan dan kebesaran hati.

Untuk para TWTSM: anda BERHARGA! Jangan pernah lupakan itu. Bila anda merasa tidak dihargai lingkungan anda, go out there dan cari orang-orang yang mampu menghargai anda. Seorang ayah yang kuat tetap memerlukan seorang ibu untuk meneruskan keturunannya. Angkat kepala anda tinggi dan jangan mau dikalahkan oleh keadaan. Berbanggalah akan darah yang mengalir ditubuh anda, apapun yang orang lain katakan. Cara lain untuk dihargai? Use condom. Ga ada jalan yang lebih pasti untuk TIDAK dihargai keluarga suami daripada hamil diluar nikah. Inget itu.

Pesan terakhir untuk para semeton: anda bisa mengutuk buah pikiran saya atau mendukungnya, namun JANGAN hanya melihat dan berkata "itu bukan urusan saya.". Selama anda masih dengan bangga menyatakan anda keturunan Ida Pedanda Sakti Wawu Rawuh, maka anda memiliki tanggung jawab dan andil dalam hal ini. Jangan melakukan tindakan yang merusak semeton, namun jangan tutup mata terhadap tindakan-tindakan semeton lain yang merusak. Bagaimana kita bisa dihargai dan menghargai umat bila kita tidak mampu menghargai saudara sendiri? Saya yakin kalian bisa. Saya yakin kita bisa :).

I love you, Gentlemen!

Gentleman definition by Merriem-Webster: (1) : a man who combines gentle birth or rank with chivalrous qualities (2) : a man whose conduct conforms to a high standard of propriety or correct behavior.

Definisi Gentleman berdasarkan Merriem-Webster: (1): Seorang pria yang menggabungkan status kelahiran atau sosialnya yang tinggi dengan sifat-sifat yang sopan dan beradab (2): seorang pria yang tindakannya mengikuti standar kesopanan yang tinggi atau perilaku yang tepat.

Kemarin akhirnya saya bertemu dengan salah satu gentlemen saya, and I have to say it out loud: I love my gentlemen.
Saya selalu berpikir kalau mereka spesial, tapi setelah saya terdampar jauh dari mereka, saya jadi tambah menghargai apa yang mereka lakukan selama ini.

Para gentlemen disini bukanlah pacar saya (walaupun mantan saya adalah Gentleman sejati yang mungkin bisa bikin Pangeran Charles kalah hawa), mereka adalah teman-teman saya, dan teman-teman terbaik yang saya punya. Berdasarkan definisi diatas, gentleman adalah seseorang yang sopan, beradab, dan menghargai serta tahu cara memperlakukan wanita. Para playboy kelas kakap hampir pasti bisa berlaku gentleman (James Bond, anyone?), tapi playboy aja (apalagi yang kelas kampung) belum tentu bisa. Harus diingat bahwa wanita disini bukan spesifik berarti wanita yang menarik, namun semua wanita. Teman, sodara, adik, mama, they'll know what to do dan protect them anyway they can. Kedengarannya romantis banget ya? Bayangkan kalau punya satu teman dekat seperti itu. I got VERY lucky, I found some since High school and I have more ever since ;)

Jangan bayangkan gentlemen saya seperti VJ Daniel atau para Vampires (yang konon lagi ngetren) yang swooning dan smiling "what's up girl?". Jelas bukan.. I'll run if they do that hahahaha.... :D
My gentlemen are strong men. One is a playboy (yang dengan jujur mengingatkan "it's all for fun" - how I love him for his brutal honesty), yang lain spend the whole time talking with me dengan makian bertebaran (biasa, soal kerjaan ;p ). Ada yang ga bisa dilepasin dari hobi remote controlnya, ada yang ga bisa dilepasin dari kantor dan rokoknya, macam-macam banget deh. Tapi apa kesamaan mereka? They treat me right. Bukan karena saya cantik (jauh deh) atau seksi (apalagi), tapi karena saya wanita. Itu aja.

Dari jaman SMA dulu, dari hal-hal yang paling kecil. Saya selalu dapat seat di kendaraan umum, they make sure of that. Walaupun mereka jadi pulang lama karena nunggu saya dapat seat, but they did that nevertheless. Segala kepanikan soal pe-er, ulangan, atau kejar2an sama guru, semua beres ;). Saat kuliah temen-temen klub saya sudah siap untuk menghajar anak BEM yang bikin saya menangis kesal saat rapat gabungan (itulah bahagianya rapat dengan anggota klub bela diri di pihak kita :D ) dan saat kita bikin plan untuk walkout, yang mereka pikirkan adalah: "Yang cewek gimana? pokoknya yang cewek harus pergi duluan." The boys ready to stay behind and fight. Atau gentleman saya yang memarahi lawan balap liarnya karena cewek lawannya dibawa balapan dan terluka. Ada yang nemenin saya saat kerja di pameran sampai jam 2 pagi, ada yang datang sambil nyengir saat saya minta jalan-jalan tengah malam atau ketemuan walau rumahnya jauh. Ada yang nungguin saya malam-malam sampai pacar saya keluar kantor (mereka sekantor). Dan semuanya ga pernah protes. Saya bisa melakukan apa yang saya ingin lakukan, dan mereka akan tetap ada buat saya. Mereka ga pernah naikin suara (teriak) apalagi main fisik, dan mereka g mau saya sedih/sengsara, kalau bisa pasti mereka akan mencegah/membantu sebisanya. Bukan karena saya spesial buat mereka, tapi karena saya wanita. Dan wanita selalu berharga.

Mereka sih ngelakuin itu ke semua cewek (I think), tapi saya tetap menganggap itu sangat berharga. Bahwa kita ga perlu cantik, seksi, atau luarbiasa untuk dihargai, kita bisa tetap eksis kalau ada orang yang luarbiasa yang mau menghargai kita. Dimana saya berada sekarang, it's all about outer beauty, bukan inner beauty. Kalau ga cantik, ga oke, ga kaya, ga segalanya deh, jangan harap ditoleh. Padahal kadang cowok yang setting standar begitu juga ga pantas ditoleh. Menghargai orang ga butuh usaha banyak kok. Butuh hati yang besar aja. Setelah sekian lama depresi, akhirnya saya bisa maju. Saya bisa lebih menghargai orang lagi, karena para gentlemen saya membuat saya merasa begitu berharga. I love you, Gentlemen!