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Sunday, May 16, 2010

The Hatred

I hate him. I hate him with all my might. For what kind of person would purposely driven his own children against each other, turning mother and daughter into bitter enemy, and condemned his wife to eternal shame and grief?

All the psychology theory, psychiatry lecture and information have been applied to him, all the excuses and reasons to make him less evil than he is, but in the end, he's just plain evil, period. No one with conscience can do what he have done, and all the hideous deed was done only for his pleasure, for the sheer purpose of pointing all attention to him, for (in his mind) if everyone is against each other, he will be the sole winner and all attention will be drawn to him. And to think I love him once.

I have read several books in which the killer/victim was in joy upon knowing that the hated one has been eliminated. I used to think that it must be horrible to think like that, but today I share the sentiment. I love him so and I know I won't be able bring myself to hurt him, but nothing can be more relieving than to know that he has gone forever from me, from people he has hurt.

I know, my action and thoughts today are against what I have wrote in this blog, against all the positive attitude that I strongly endorsed. I also know that even i he is gone forever, life will go on and more difficulties will arrive. I know it all. But for today, just for today, let me pour this poison from my chest. Tomorrow I will smile again, and the day after tomorrow I will laugh again. The hatred will soon pass from my mind, until the time he strikes again. But for now, let me indulge myself in my viciousness, and pray for a day without The Hatred.

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