The Friends

I was presented with a major news yesterday and I freaked out.

For some reason, I am more upset about having to go through this alone than about the actual news instead.

I found myself being very angry at my ex-bf and everyone else that should have stayed by me but they didn't. You promised me I won't be alone anymore. You promised me.

But I was not alone. Friends whom I confided about the news immediately comforted me. They gave me long hugs, other called and texted. Everyone is invested in my well being.

And I am glad I can see that. I am glad I can see their bright light and not dwell in the "what if" and the gaping hole inside me. 

When you are in pain, it's too easy to give in to that cold misery inside you. It's too easy to focus on your grief and averse your eyes from the people who love you. Because their love wouldn't compare to your pain. They won't understand.

Maybe. But they still love us. The world didn't lose its color because you can only see black and white. It is us who have to accept that affection and see their brightness again.

I may not have someone who is truly mine, someone that I can cry to without restraints, someone who will hug and caress me until I fell asleep. But I have people who care. People who choose to treat me as someone important. I am not alone.

Babes, thank you for being my friend.