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Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Happy Valentine's Day, Singles!

Thanks to Facebook's "See Your Memories" a.k.a. "On This Day" function, I get to re-read all the romantic comments my ex-husband wrote to me on Facebook from the years before, while looking at his most recent profile pic which is him and his new girlfriend. Awkward…

Don't get me wrong, I love being single. So far it has been no less than amazing. Dirty dancing, checked. Swinger party (where everybody did the 1920s swing), checked. Shopping spree, checked. I cooked the weirdest thing (mashed potato with Guinness gravy, anyone?), meditate the whole night and day, go on my own adventures, flirt however and whenever I want to (and getting flirted back too!), I do whatever I want, whenever I want. My life has never been so complete.

But then there's that picture of him, and it brings back memories. When I love, I love hard core. I remember all the special days, and celebrate each and every one of them even when we were still apart. The first Valentine I spend with him, I saved up some money to make him a bouquet of tulip, his favorite flower, and some chocolate too. I took a bus to go to his work, my first 'big' bus trip in that area, and with the help of his friend, arrange a surprise for him. It was sweet, it was romantic, it was magnificent. Of course, us being us, I remember a boot went flying in the next few days or so. So much for romance.

Come what may, I never regret the love I have for him. It was beautiful, absolutely beautiful: all the little butterflies in my tummy whenever I saw him smile, all the warmth and fuzziness I feel when I am near him (no, he was not a bear), all the 'Please God, make it last forever', all that and so much more. It's like being high, nothing can go wrong, ever. Of course, as with most thing in life, it went awry in the end. When the high was gone, we realize we don't like each other much. So here I am, looking at old memories of how much he love me and wondering to myself: dafuq went wrong?

The answer is: nothing went wrong. When you already give all you've got and put your partner's happiness before you, there's nothing else you can do. There are no 'Ifs' that can change the past. The 'Ifs' can change your future though, there's nothing more valuable than a lesson learned. This post is not for me, this post is for all of you who are still trapped in the past. Let it go. The book is done, now close it gently and put it on the shelf where it belongs. And this is really hard to do, as nostalgia is a dirty liar that insists things were better than they seemed. Like I said, I got all sentimental about the flowers, but not as much when I remember the boot. (I threw it at him, by the way, and it was justifiable. Trust me.)

If on this glorious day where people bought overpriced flowers and chocolate and dinners in hope for a just-so-so sex (yes, Valentine) you found yourself still griping with the memory of your ex, let it go. Being single on Valentine's day doesn't mean you are not loved or not worthy. Losing a partner (a.k.a. being single) doesn't mean you are a failure. It may just mean you need to love yourself more. It may just mean you both are not the right fit, and there is nothing wrong with that. Cheer up, buttercup, life has so much more to offer. Happy Valentine's Day for all you singles out there. Now let's go out and shake the world up!

1 comment:

  1. cool post! i like the way you put the words into a heart-warming structured sectence. btw, kk dari bali kah?


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