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Wednesday, April 17, 2013

The Worth of a Man

A friend shared religious note in Facebook, about how husband's blessing is heaven for the wife. The husband in the story was displayed as a one-of-a-kind-God-sent-angel-on-earth, and the wife was a silly-clueless-childish-ignorant-human. The man was loving and kind and selfless and patient, and hold no grudge or jealousy even though his wife is honored more than him or that he had to help pay for his wife's mistake. And I was like: whoa there, hold your horses ladies! Honestly, if such person do exist, be he a man or a woman we should make a national (or even international) holiday for him/her as to celebrate the most perfect partner there is! Of course as we have no national or international holiday yet for such a person, the chances of you finding the perfect person as the story said honestly sound pretty slim. 

I myself believe in equity and equality. Men should be honored and respected by women, but in capacity as fellow human. Many women do not aware that men are human like us. They got different sex organ, sure, but they also experience bad days and good days. They feel pain, fear, and loneliness; they want to be loved and understood; heck they even need to cry once in a while. I have seen countless meme that ridicule men's clumsiness, and countless more that ridicule or emphasize women's sexiness. This shows the difference in how we think, but the similarity of core thoughts: we laugh at each other daily yet we needed our counterparts, thus the meme. Women can't reach their full potential by thinking their human counterpart (i.e men) are better than them, and those who think men are lower than them lose a great deal of experiences and knowledge that otherwise can complete them. It goes the same with men.

No matter what doctrine one wants to believe, either men as true savior or men as the world's abomination, give the guy a proper respect that he deserves. That goes without saying that if the man showed no respect for the woman he deserves exactly the same. But again, this is not about his side/her side. It is about how you treat fellow human. Will you (as a woman) respect a girlfriend that treated you like slime? Will you respect her if she stood up for you and care about you? Whatever your answer is, the same treatment you give to a women should be applied to a man. That is how women should treat men: not more than us, nor less, but equal.

Remember though, equality does not always mean the exact gesture. Men and women's needs are different. Called me conservative but I am of opinion that a man must be protective of a woman, he must be able to provide (or at least be the main provider) of the family. In the end he deserves my display of love and affection. This is not fairytale wish washy, but based on biological observations only. Men's body is wired to physically stronger than women's, and women are wired to be more sensitive with emotions of others due to their child-rearing task. As a species if I were to raise a family I will want a partner that can protect and provide me in my long period of child rearing, and I will give comfort and love to keep him fulfilled because as a woman I am more fluent in showing affection. Same goal to keep our gene running but different way to achieving it and thus, different needs.

Yet sometimes it should be extremely simple. Logical thinking aside, religious doctrine and society dictation aside, everytime I see my partner I feel a rush of pride and respect. I will not belittle him because he never belittle me; I will cater his needs because he catered mine; I will uphold his honor because he uphold mine; I will make him happy because he made me happy (and because he has the most beautiful smile and sweetest laughter). No promises of heaven or threats of hell needed, no society stigmas or rewards needed. This is what respect in love is all about, this is what commitment in relationship is all about. And yes, because he deserves it. Frankly, I won't do it for less ;)

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