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Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Tattoo, Choices, Child-making

[Photo from Eric Hartsburg in Facebook]

Dude. I mean, seriously??

A little recap, this guy tattooed Romney-Ryan logo (US presidential candidates in 2012) on his face. Yes, on his face; yes, before the election was over. The news said he was "rather disappointed that Romney-Ryan lost the race". Well, d'uh! Even if his preferred candidates won, it is still a case of (somewhat) not-so-sound judgment. I firmly believe that he is entitled to have any political views as he pleased, and he is entitled to do whatever he wants with his body; yet the tattoo will still be awkward if his candidates won but unable to deliver their promises. If it's for a lifetime, I would think people best stick with something safe like presidents or [political] figure that have been tried and tested (Abe Lincoln, Martin Luther King, Johnny Depp – yeah the last one is a bit biased ;)). Sorry, I've been too harsh. This guy made a bet and he lost, that is all what the story is. But wow, talking about carrying your mistake for the rest of your life.

The story makes me wonder, how do people made life-time choices (uand I mean LIFE TIME)? This dude said his wife was not really approving but his 15 years old son are cool with it. Umm… I thought I would be a mad scientist when I was 15, not to mention my utter fascination with death and everything gothic; instead I become a writer with a penchant for sexy colorful bikinis (do I just wrote bikinis? I meant colorful life. Yeah, that's it). Taking a 15 year old teenager opinion for a life time choice is not a very good idea. But it is not just about tattooing, it is also about other aspects like marriage, spouses, and most importantly child bearing. To me, these are life time choices as you will get stuck (and gotta stick) to it for the rest of your life. Of course, some would argue that spouses/partners or even sexual preferences can change over time, marriages can be dissolved any time it's convenient, and tattoo can be erased or overwrote. How do you change or dissolved or erased or overwrite a child though?

It is funny that for such a weighing and important (not to mention irrevocable) decision that one have to live with for the rest of his/her life, having a child is so much less (and even disproportionately) considered. I can't give you numbers or data that proof my theory, but it is so blatantly obvious with all the unwanted pregnancies and the number of male Homo Sapiens that refuse to take condoms/vasectomies/any other protection and so adamant on spreading their seeds everywhere. I'm all with "girls gotta be smart" ideas, but to be honest I sincerely believe that the population in this world can be drastically reduce if men can hold themselves and can be held responsible for the child. You can argue some women are slut but no homo sapiens can auto copulate, thus a child will always both the father and mother's responsibilities.

When I say responsibility, I do not mean a measly 4 dollar check that a guy in America provided for his children as he fathered 30 of them (and counting, they can't place charges just because he's making babies. Oh wait, can't he be charged with child endangerment? Having 30+ siblings will definitely nerve-wreck even the strongest child. IMHO). I mean a full support for the child: food, shelter, education, chance and ability to make a killing erm living, and love and affection. Lots of love and affection. Human is probably the only species with such an extended childhood time. If a human average life till 80 years old, it takes about a quarter of their life span to reach maturity (or even more. I often met 20 year olds that act like 12 years old). These early years, this process of maturity is very crucial in human, no human can ever live by his/herself. And in these early years too the human's character and basic knowledge/survival ability is set. Yes, 20 years of your time just to make sure your little tyke/angel grows and can live by him/herself. And that's not the end of it. You'd get to grow old with him/her, see his/her family, be a grandfather/grandmother, and perhaps even great-great-grandparents. Bearing a child is a real unspoken vow of "In sickness and in health, in poorness and in wealth, till death do us part" .

Sounds like a hard work after an innocent night of partying yeah? Well honey it is. But choices are only choices if people know they have it. That is why it is utmost important for women to properly know and understand their reproductive system, the proper names for organs and body parts and what each of it do in the reproductive process, and ultimately, the options for birth control. For those men (and women) that said birth control is against God's will I am going to argue that: a) I don't think God also want children to be abandoned and unloved by his parents nor living in severely harsh condition; and b) you can ALWAYS resort to abstinence to substitute the artificial birth control method, in like not having sex until you guys are ready emotionally and financially for a[nother] child. Sure, it will probably mean 3-5 years of no sex, or ever, but it is still an option ;).

Now now boys, don't go hating me already now. On the opposite, the women need your help. Regardless of how strong a woman is, it is actually very difficult to fend off unwanted sexual approaches. I'm not just talking in physical terms as some women are actually physically stronger than men; it's also about emotional terms. One of the dirtiest tricks I knew from high-school is the old "you-don't-love-me-if you-don't-have-sex-with-me". Joe Biden said "A no is a no". With this taken in to consideration, many women are actually "raped" as they are trapped in a situation where they can't say no or their "no" are not taken in consideration. We women need men to protect us, to be more careful when making life-time decision/choices like child-making, and to take active role and hold proper responsibility on your offspring. As with the harsh accusation that said pregnancy is a woman's fault for spreading her legs, if a man finds himself in a situation where he become a father (to-be) he can only blame himself for not taking protection and/or, erm, shooting in. Remember, auto copulate is not possible among human. Some lower animals can do that, but no matter how slimy a person is I would still think auto copulate is out of the questions.

Of course, it's only fair to discuss what happens if you don't make the decision to have a child but end up with having one (or several). Well move forward then. You may not make a decision to soberly make that child, or you may think you want one but then find yourself hiding in the closet and chant "omigod omigod omigod omigod omigod" while your child was yelling and screaming "Mummy/Daddy!!!! You said I would get a new iPhone NOWWWWW!" and wish the little monster, erm, dear can go puff and disappear like Barney magic cloud. Sorry, not gonna happen. Like I said before: "In sickness or in health, till death do us part". No court or judge or whatever can annul this relationship. You bring him/her to the world, now make the best of it. It's your call, you owe it to the child, you owe it to the world.


I myself have no children, and not planning on having one for quite a while (or ever) until the conditions are met or if God trusted me with one. But I have seen quite a few people (both whom I know personally or through stories and articles in the media) who manage to successfully wrecked their child[ren]'s life because they were not prepared and one (or both) sides refuse to take responsibility. Proper child-planning is a very important issue for me and I hope it can be an utmost priority for men and women everywhere. Not only because it is fair to the child as he/she has no choice but to born to a certain [set of] parent, but also because that little adorable bundle of joy can become either a dangerous person that wreck other's life or a joyous sunshine that made the world brighter. This is also a way more important issue than chain oneself to a tree to stop deforestation. With the current population rate, deforestation will definitely go up as people need more land to live, and more stomach to fill. Go figure.  

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