Fckbois and Pizza

I hate fckbois. I really do. They are the squatters that took over your property, and you let them stay long enough they somewhat become a tenant that, based on US law, you can't kick out just like that. In lieu of proper rent (i.e. whatever you were supposed to get from a relationship) you get nothing. Just sex, and that's about it.

Wait. That's me. That's what I've been doing. Huh. I guess I hate myself then. 

My next custom made shirt should say: "Will travel for dick". Because it's kinda true. Despite the fact that I do not own a car nor do I drive, it's not a big deal for me to go a long way in search for good food and/or good times. Swing dancing/board gaming included, dicks not excluded.

Despite the empowerment I felt, despite my grin whenever I was told I am a total dude when it comes to sex, eventually it wears off. I love intimacy, with or without the little guy popping off from the pants (not so little, though. I have standard). Yet it's like eating frozen pizza, you just got sick with it.

Maybe it's because I don't want only the pizza. Anyone can make an edible thin bread with gooey cheese and tomato sauce. I want the experience. I want the quaint café with the romantic ambiance. I want the cute server who pull up a chair for me to sit in and take care of me throughout the night. I want the dastardly pizza on an antique pizza stone, made with fresh and best ingredients, and taste like heaven.

I can get more than frozen pizza. I just need to learn to compromise. Chain store pizza vs the hole-in-the-wall one. Really good pizza but only to-go and the server sucks. Instagrammable and blog-worthy restaurant but you rather eat a toasted two-weeks old bread than finishing the pizza.

I also have to pay the price. As someone who is naturally submissive and painfully loyal (I still talk and is still in good term with all of my exes), commitment is not something that I can take lightly if I want to stay sane. Thus, how much can I afford to pay for the kind of pizza experience I want?

I don't want to spend my emotion in a pizza place that will only be open for a short time. I don't want to spend it in a pizza place that doesn't care if I am there or not, as well. I want it to be memorable. I want it to be beautiful. I don't want to be taken for granted. I want a pizza place who will invest in me as their valued customer just as I will invest in them for the experience they give me.

 

I can, and I should, just compromise and get whatever solid pizza offered to me. It'll be better and healthier than frozen pizza. However, at least I know the cost and risk associated with frozen pizza. I don't know for sure what's in store with this new pizza place and if I can afford the (mental) bill in the end. So yeah. Amazon? One delivery of frozen pizza for the weekend, please.