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Monday, May 28, 2018

Sex, Games, and Swings

I went board gaming yesterday. We did 3 games over 3-4 hours course. All were strategy-based games, which involves plenty of mental energy both to understand the mechanism in order to play, and also to outpace your opponents.

Even with a leisurely lunch break, by the end of the games, I was exhausted. And fulfilled. It's like a good, long session of satisfying sex. I mentioned that to my friend. He pointed out that I also said swing dancing is like sex. Oh.

I did tell him that. In a way, dancing is like sex. The flirt that comes with the music, the physical contact as you move together with the rhythm, the thought you put into it until you lost yourself in the moment. Find yourself a good partner and it will be oh so rewarding.

Come to think about it, a lot of things feel like, and as satisfying as, sex to me. I sat on my bed thinking hard about this. Am I just an overtly sexual (read: perpetually horny) woman? Not that there's anything wrong with that.

But what if it is the other way around? What if in my mind I use the concept of sex to described the standard for passion and fulfillment? So it's not about the sex, it's about what can you achieve in various activities.

Sex is the ultimate sensory experience. In a good session, our five senses were heightened with the emotion, whilst our body works itself automatically in series of physical responses and our mind mentally calculated the way to get to the climax.

It really can't be any more immersive than that. That one, sweet, intoxicating feeling where you give everything out and simply lost yourself, body and soul, at The Moment. It's that plunge from the cliff into the blue ravine below.

That's how good board gaming feels to me. Or good swing dancing. Even though I am not at all extremely good at it. There were times when other board gamers or swing dancers looked at me in disdain as I fumbled my steps.

But I won't stop just because I am not good at it. It was never to be the ultimate one, it was always about enjoying, and get lost in, The Moment. Don't we all need it? In the time of hardship and confusion, don't we all need to feel like human again, whole and fulfilled?

It can be a leisurely walk next to the waterway, or a night in with cheap wine and discounted cheese. It can be splurging on fancy shoes and five-star dinners. It can be a party with hundreds of strangers or a good nap on the sofa with the person you like.

The activity itself doesn't matter much. It's how you feel about it that matters. It's the amount of enjoyment that you can get from it, both physically and mentally, that matters. It's the "Whoa..." and the stupid satisfied grin after it that matters.

Putting your heart into things, giving it all you got, is scary. What if it doesn't work out? What if it's not worth the trouble? Why should I do it anyway? Because it is worth it. Because it is not a race, but an experience. Because feeling alive is incredible.

I have been known to exchange a night of dancing in favor to sleeping at home. It's ok. That works too. It can be anything that brings you closer to yourself, anything that can unite your mind, your spirit, your body, and your soul.

Listen to yourself: what you want, what you feel. Be brave. Let yourself go to what your heart desire. And yes, dear readers. Be alive. Be f*cking alive.

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