The Problem With Sex Is

Have you ever look at someone and start enacting scenes from Anne Rice's Sleeping Beauty Trilogy in your head (because homie doesn't do meekly Fifty Shades of Grey)? No? Just me? Alrighty then…

Come on. Be honest. There must be once or twice moment where you feel it. The heat rising to your cheek, the palpitating heart, the burning desire inside you. After all, we are human.

Which brings us to some interesting questions: to what degree such passion is acceptable? Is it objectifying or improper? How can we stop ourselves from desiring it or to have feeling about it?

Heck, I can't even stop myself from drooling over sexy bras or board games. Yes, Saturday night with me can be very interesting. And even though I didn't end up buying them, they still make me excited.

Is it bad? Should I not have feelings like that? Is it not enough that I lowered my gaze and not look at the temptation? Am I supposed to suppress the excitement and kill the emotions? But we're humans. We're not robots.

The problem with sex is, it is scary. In that singular moment where the spark is lit, it can be either an uncontrolled wildfire that burned down everything or the warm fire of the hearth that you come home to.

Some sex are bland, nothing more than an upgraded version of masturbation. Some are supposed to be magical and the unification of soul. The last description is usually found in many women-targeted media.

Whatever you think what or how it is, the fact of the matter is, when you are in the moment, you literally lost yourself. Everything else lost its importance. And if you have a feeling for your partner, that's even more better.

Understandably, its intoxicating effect is the reason why it is considered a no-no. This is why it gets repressed. Strictly for reproduction only, please. Apparently, humans can't deal with so much excitement.

We talked about sex in a hushed voice, and for women in some part of the world, not at all. These women lose the opportunity to know about their reproductive system, their sexual rights, and the chance to bloom in spirit.

On the other side, men mostly talked about their bravado, which at times can't be confirmed anyway. They, in turn, lose the opportunity to make their sexual encounters a meaningful one, to understand more about women and about themselves.

I looked at him once again. Something inside me still stirred. That face. That body. The unsaid promise of joy and excitement. I want him to take me higher and pushed me to the edge where I will fly. And I want to do the same for him.

Maybe I shouldn't feel this way. It is objectifying. It is improper. As an old phrase go: First you think about it, then you talked about it, then you do it. I probably should stop right now.

But what if we both consent? What if we both like each other and we enjoy such passion from one another? Will it still be wrong? Will it still be objectifying and morally improper?

This is a dangerous slope I am treading because many people can use my arguments to justify their one-sided advances as 'mutual attractions' when they're actually not. Psychos are everywhere.

I don't want these psychos to defined what I am feeling. I don't want to get the nasty look of "Gluten is bad for you" because some people have bad gluten-related experience. Is it still bad even when I don't get the adverse reaction?

My feelings are valid. In a world where (some) women are still treated like objects, where sexual assaults and oppressions still happen to the weak, my feelings may sound like an insult to those who suffer. But it is still valid. 

I have the right to feel elated. I have the right to enjoy myself. I have the right to understand more about my feeling, to choose who I want to be with, to develop the connection that I want.

The problem with sex is, it shouldn't be a problem. Just as other things in life, it should be done with proper consent and equality on both side, and obtained without inflicting harm or manipulating other people.  

I, for one, am not ashamed for wanting it; nor will I be okay to be shamed for wanting it. There's nothing and there shouldn't be anything shameful about sex as long as it's done with consent and respect on both side. 

Hey, if it fits, I sits.