The Dragon Roared

The dragon roared. A long stream of fire came out from his mouth and the air was filled with the stench of dragon-fire and acrid smell. He roared again and the leaves on the trees shook with the intensity of his voice. Animals run and hide for their life. When the dragon roared like that it was never good. Another violent roar ensued, then all is quiet.

From his cave he can see the unbroken view of the mountains and valleys. It was early morning and the fog and dew still dotted the picture here and there, presenting a serene yet forlorn picture. The day was going to be beautiful. But the dragon did not look at the vista, instead he fixed his gaze to the charred remains inside his cave. A painful stab of guilt and sadness pierced his heart.

Ah, his little human.

Dragons have always been solitary, and they do not even like each other's presence. That is why there are only so many of them left in this world. But this dragon had took a liking on this human. He had watched him grow, a mere hunter boy with scrawny body that seemed to never had enough to eat, but with eyes full with determination. The dragons have lived long enough to see knights and kings, and ever since he saw his little human he knew he has potential. So the dragons watched his little human from afar, day by day.

One fateful day the little human noticed him. Although his gleaming green and brown scales looked shiny and magnificent in the sunlight, it perfectly blends in in the forest. It was a surprise for him when his little human suddenly stopped his hunting and looked right at him. Was it awe or was it respect, the dragon did not know; but he knew they were connected. To the dragon's pride and joy, his little human did not balk or run like a madman. His little human stood there for a long time looking at the dragon before he calmly stepped away and disappeared behind the trees.

Ever since then, the little human always has enough to eat, the dragon made sure of that. A bewildered moose would appear out of nowhere when the game was difficult to find, or a dead goose that seemed to fall from the sky. The little human knew. The dragon knew that he knew. Day by day he grew big and strong, and the dragon watched with lovingness. Humans hate dragons, the dragon knew; but he hoped this one won't. The dragon was old and tired, and he was longing for a friendly face. He was tired of all the rampage and destruction, he wanted to sleep peacefully and woke up to his little human live peacefully with his own family. The dragon wanted peace.

Unfortunately, his little human wanted glory.

As his little human grew older and stronger, the dragon started to see resentment in his face. His little human resented the dragon's help, for it reminded him that he was under the dragon's mercy. His little human was also scared of him. He knew it was from the many nights of terror he had done: where the air was hot with fire and filled with the burning smell of the men that tried to slay him, and his deafening roar of defiance echoed throughout the far ends of the mountains. He knew his little human slowly mistrusted him, and it sadden him. He had stared at his little human from afar for so many days and nights, chanting softly in his mind: "Don't be afraid little human. I will not harm you. It was self-defense. Please understand, little human. Please stay."

Yet humans don't speak dragons' language, let alone their minds. The dragon started to seeing less and less of his little human, because his little human has mastered the art of hiding and it seemed he did not want to be found by the dragon. Fear grew in him: fear of losing his little human, fear of being hated by his little human, fear of having to hurt his little human. The dragon became more tense and agitated, and subsequently became more violent. He was filled with agony and sorrow: it was not his fault he has to hurt those men, and it was not his fault he was what he was; why can't his little human saw that? His days were filled with doubts and angers, his night was filled with fear and sadness.

Then on that fateful dawn, his little human stroke.

It was a horrible battle, far more horrible than what the dragons have experienced before, and he had lived for so long. It was not the intensity or the bloodiness that was horrible, it was the fact that he battled with his little human, his dearest little human. He tried to held back, but his little human was determined to hurt him. It was during one of the final blows when the dragon, in desperation, saw the coldness in the eyes of his little human. His anger flared, and he took all his might to attack his little human. He slashed and roared and clawed, completely oblivion to his own wound or even life. His little human was hurting him, forgetting him, so he will make him pay. In no time at all there was a heavily wounded dragon with blood dripped everywhere, and a charred remain of a human.

His little human, his beloved little human.

In his pain and ache he stood there, lamenting his loss. He could have let his little human hurt him, let him cut a finger or two for his little human's glory. Or he could take him captive until his little human understand he is not the little human's enemy. But he didn't. His pride and instinct kicked in. And after all, what's the point of all that? Wouldn't his little human come with more backup and killed him anyway? Could his little human really see him for what he is, instead of the nightmare that he was portrayed? Alas, now he would never know.

He remembered a story from far away, where a faery was able to recant her course of action and instead of killing the princess that she had cursed for the payment of the princess' father's evil deed, rescued her instead. It will not happen to him though, he thought sadly as he looked at the charred remain. He had utterly, totally destroyed his little human. Had his little human respect him, had his little human understand him, had his little human did not choose to hurt him, all of this won't happen. He did what he had to do to protect himself. He did what dragons do best: destruction. And now he was left with his little human's charred remain.

He roared once again. A long, sad, lonely roar reverberated in the mountain. And for the first time, the animals of the forest did not run in fear. They stood silently with tears on their face.

CV oh CV: Trik agar CV anda Maksimal

Saya lupa betapa resehnya CV di Indonesia sampai tadi pagi, saat saya harus menyiapkan CV bos saya untuk registrasi sesuatu di Malaysia. Setali tiga uang itu CV nya, sama-sama berisi info yang nggak penting.

Nama: Ok lah.
Kebangsaan: Err… Baiklah
Alamat: Bisa jadi, masih masuk akal
Tanggal lahir: Hah? 

Agama: Ehh???
Hobi: Omaigot…..

Di Amrik sini tanggal lahir tidak dipakai karena selain bisa dicolong dan dipakai untuk meretas info pribadi kita, juga dianggap rentan diskriminasi. Nggak seperti di Indonesia, nggak ada ceritanya pasang iklan lowongan kerja disini pakai batasan umur. Bahkan untuk wajah pun istilahnya "Well groomed" alias rapi, nggak nohok syalala seperti Indonesia yang "Berpenampilan menarik dengan tinggi xx dan berat yy". Persyaratan yang "Belum menikah" apa lagi, nggak ada ceritanya boleh diskriminatif begitu disini.

Herannya kita baik-baik saja dengan hal itu. Nrimo saja gituh. Padahal kalau dipikir-pikir kok ngeselin. Okelah kalau dilihat dari IPK atau dari pendidikan, tapi dilihat dari penampilan umur bahkan status perkawinan kok ya kebangetan. Berarti kalau saya jelek paruh baya dan kebetulan sudah menikah nggak ada harapan dong saya kerja, walau se-capable apapun saya. Walau kebanyakan lowongan seperti ini untuk para frontliner, tapi CV pun tetap dengan pedenya kita tulis dengan hal-hal yang bisa mendiskriminasi. Belum lagi dengan karangan 3 halaman tentang apa yang kita lakukan di tiap pekerjaan, plus prestasi yang nggak penting seperti juara berhitung di TK.

Tiap orang berbeda pastinya, akan ada orang-orang yang prefer CV tradisional yang panjang dan ngejelimet. Tapi bagi perusahaan-perusahaan sibuk, CV yang panjang sama dengan bunuh diri. Nggak penting juga baca essay anda, mending langsung masuk tong sampah; kecuali kalau posisi yang anda incar memang butuh info yang mendalam. Anda cuma punya 30 detik, mungkin kurang, untuk bikin si pembaca CV anda terkesan, gunakan waktu itu sebaik-baiknya. Pasang foto yang professional tapi bikin pembaca tergugah, jangan pakai pasfoto biasa. Kalau kebetulan melamar pekerjaan di perusahaan yang agak santai, jangan puas dengan CV biasa. Bisa kok CV anda ditata dengan lebih menarik. Contohnya ala koran seperti gambar dibawah ini.

Kalau kebetulan nggak bisa mengedit macam-macam, pakai saja website gratisan model strikingly.com. Buat CV anda disini, dan cantumkan alamat website anda tersebut di header CV anda. Nggak ada yang lebih mengesankan daripada punya website [portfolio] pribadi.

Kalau kebetulan pengalaman kerja anda sudah canggih syalala, pastinya anda tidak perlu memakai trik murahan ini hehehe. Namun secanggih apapun CV anda tidak ada faedahnya bila CV anda sampai sekian MB, yang boro-boro dibuka ada juga masuk junk mail. Saran saya coba pastikan CV yang anda kirim itu dibawah 1 MB, idealnya dengan attachment tidak lebih dari 500 KB. Kenapa? Karena ya itu tadi, males banget menunggu download CV berukuran besar, apalagi dengan internet di Indonesia yang syalala. File sebisa mungkin juga dalam bentuk PDF, syukur-syukur semua info (foto, ijazah, etc) ada dalam 1 file, jadi download + namainnya nggak sengsara. Dan please, please, please banget, jangan lupa ganti namanya saat copas, dan bikin e-mail pribadi, jangan nebeng e-mail orang….

Sekali lagi:
-Eye catching tapi profesional dan nggak nyampah. Kalau prestasi anda nggak ada hubungan dengan lowongan tersebut nggak usah ditulis.
- Size dibawah 1 mb, ideal 500 mb, dan sesedikit mungkin attachment.
- Kecuali kepepet, usahakan semua file dalam bentuk PDF/JPG dan jangan di Word doc agar terlihat lebih elit.
- Buat alamat e-mail pribadi. Yahoo oke, Gmail lebih bagus.
- Hati-hati soal copas. Jangan sampai yang melamar namanya Tanti tapi copas-an CVnya judulnya Iwan_CV.doc . 

Dan dua hal lagi:
-Cover letter di body e-mail tetap harus ada, tapi jangan bikin novel. Cukup basa-basi seadanya dan info apa saja yang terattached.
- Nggak perlu kirim KTP, serius. Kecuali kalau diminta ya, tapi kok aneh perusahaan minta KTP duluan, nanti disalahgunakan lagi.

Kerja itu nyebelin emang, tapi bukan berarti kita nggak bisa menjadi diri kita. Bisa jadi diri kita lebih menjual daripada sekedar tulisan di CV atau batasan-batasan diskriminatif di kolom lowongan kerja. Tentunya keberhasilannya tergantung dari tipikal perusahaan tempat anda melamar pekerjaan, tapi tidak ada salahnya anda coba mulai mengutik-ngutik CV anda dan lihat apa yang bisa anda lakukan dengannya. Selamat melamar pekerjaan!

Sent from my T-Mobile 4G LTE device

I Suck

It takes a lot to realize that you suck. It takes more to accept that fact.

I have been in a bitter argument with my husband for weeks, maybe even months. We both had said what we want to say, we both think the other party was wrong, but for the love of God I can't see why we ended up where we are right now. After I read our messages and e-mails I realize: I suck.

This is not to say that each and every argument we have is invalid, or that everything that has happened happen because I suck. This is to say that if I was a better person, we might be able to evade or even stop [some of] the bloodshed. I had a clear view of what I think is right and I went right at it like a wrecking ball. The nicely phrased word did not take away the hint of steel underneath it. What makes me a pretty good writer does not necessarily make me a pretty good partner. In life, there are things to strive for, causes to fight for; in love, sometimes it's best to take it as it is. And I failed.

Lo and behold, after the realization I went into a spiral of depression. I seemed to be drowned in the feeling that I cause the relationship to fail because I suck. Which is impossible. Relationship is, well, relation. It's about two people [or more]. There is a plethora of other reasons why we are what we are right now. However, realizing the facts does not alleviate my self-condescending much. I suck. I suck. I suck.

This is the reason why self-realization is a difficult stage to achieved. We don't want to feel we are not good enough, that we did something that is not according to the standard a.k.a being suck. This is also why fights happened. If we can't take it that we suck, we definitely won't take it when somebody shove the fact to our face. This put us in a dilemma: we don't want to be told we sucked, we also don't want to admit it. So how can we possibly know? Do we even want to know?

The answer is yes and no. We don't want to know, but we need to know in order for us to become better, to 'upgrade' ourselves. The only way to know it is to be honest with ourselves. Some has clearer mind than others and able to analyze themselves objectively. Others receive 'constructive criticism' and decided to take action from it. Neither would work, however, if we choose to not be honest about ourselves. Yes, we sometimes need to fix ourselves. No, it will not be a problem. The only way it became a problem is if we let our ego in the way and refuse to see who we really are.

Some people would think I am doing the wrong thing by acknowledging my error, by publicly stating that I suck. Some people may lose respect for me over this. Nevertheless, when you are wrong, it is important to acknowledge that you are wrong. You owe that honesty to yourself. As a writer, I owe it to my audience to admit that I suck, that I am just human.

I wrote about good things and self-empowerment, this writing is to confirm that bad things happen to, that world is not only filled with unicorns and rainbows. This writing is to confirm that even for a writer that strive to make the world a better place, he/she can be suck too. This writing is to confirm it's ok to be suck, that acknowledging and accepting it is not the end of the world, that it's actually a path to better yourself.

If you think you suck, it's ok; you're on the right track by realizing and learning to accept it. If you accept you suck, congratulations, you just upgraded yourself; now march on to the sunset through path of betterment. If you think you are not suck, there is always, always room for improvement; so be alert and be honest about yourself.

I am embarrassed. I am sad. I am still kinda depressed. But I will be fine. I know what I did wrong, I accept that I did wrong, and next time I will not make the same mistake again. Hopefully. The cost of this knowledge is very expensive for me, but it is how it is. Just like in Kungfu stories, the greatest knowledge is given to those who are ready to accept it, and the greater the knowledge is the greater the price would be. Usually the 'deserving one' is the humblest one too, something that I need to learn as well. Sigh… Life is a never ending journey of learning, is it not?

Where Are You Now

I've looked through sea of faces

And oceans of eyes

I've looked through hills of people

But your comforting body wasn't there

I've heard a thousand voices

And a million sounds

I'm surrounded by a fog of noise

But your lovely voice wasn't there

I've smelled a plethora of aroma

And swamped by some more

I'm enveloped by fragrances

But your soothing scent wasn't there

I've sipped a river of drinks

And dine on a pasture of dishes

I have sampled all tastes known to men

But the taste of your sweet kisses wasn't there

I've touched innumerable silk and cashmeres

I've pricked on numerous daggers

I've felt the tender babe to the gentle aging

But the feel of your skin wasn't there

Where are you now, my sun and stars?

Where are you now, the light of my life?

Where are you now, treasure of my heart?
I've come so far for you, so far

In the cold loneliness I shivered

Is this a dream

Is this a nightmare

Is this the end

The tears have welled up and fell

The heart has been broken and shattered

The dream and life has lost its purpose

And still I search for you

Where are you now?

Are you there where the bird chirped beautifully?

Are you there where the brook babbled sweetly?

Are you there where the flowers swayed gently?

Are you there where the sun shone brightly?

Are you there where the wind howled frightfully?

Are you there where the trees creaked menacingly?

Are you there where the thunder screamed and lightning stroke?

Are you there where the night never ends?

Where are you now, with your laughter as sweet as a bell?

Where are you now, with your smile as bright as the moon?

Where are you now, with your touch as gentle as the spring rain?

Where are you now, with your love as wonderful as life itself?

Far and long have I walked

With the burden upon my heart

And the sorrow shackled on my ankle

Yet still I search for you

Where are you now, my dearest?

Where are you now, my beloved?

Where are you now?

And why aren't you with me?

This Is Hell

Come, walk with me in hell

Where the air is thick as soup

And your sin is thicker

Where the sorrow is shared

By all of us sinner

Walk with me, dance with me

As our feet consumed by fire

A true fitting tribute

To our deepest darkest desire

And let the daggers rain on you

Let drops of blood flow free

And let your howl of pain be heard

It is liberating, can't you see

The heart that beats beat no more

But the horrible agony lingers

Is it not what living is about

To be dead but still feels the stingers?

Oh the pain and the sorrow

Oh the madness between my furrow

And the darkness in me said, "Ain't it swell?

Dear baby, enjoy your hell!"

A skip and a beat, a jump and a kick

A place where there is nowhere to run

Agony and anger, shame and sadness

Oh honey we only just begun

So dance with me stay with me play with me

Dance the dance of hopelessness

Stay and sip the drink of nothingness

Play the game of despair and madness

The night has just begun

The skin is fresh, the wound is new

There will be more to come

And it will be painful, I promise you

This is hell

Ain't it swell

Like a tainted stinky horrible spell

This is hell

Oh so well

Let all your hopes and dreams be put in a quell

This is hell

This is hell

This. Is. Hell!

So take my hand and trust in me

Let me guide you through the misery

Because this is hell

Ain't it swell?

Heaven in Us

Life is sad and full of pain. Whenever I see angry people on the internet 'screaming' and seething with anger, spewing threats and vile words I feel sorry for them. Whenever people say violent things should be done to this and that because of what they believe I feel sorry for them. I feel scared and angry too, and a lot of times their negative emotion swept me away. Yet in the end I feel sorry for them.

Imagine a life so rotten and wretched inside, imagine a mind full of vile and negative thoughts, wouldn't you feel sorry for that? And it is incurable. The only cure is hidden within ourselves, yet how can we get it if our minds and hearts clouded and murky with such thoughts? It's like seeing a gangren with all the pus and rottenness but you know it is beyond healing, and since no amputee consent is given you can only see it rot away. Won't you feel sorry?

Some people believe of what they believe, and manage to find peace of mind. Some people use their belief to justify the demon inside them, and let it loose to the world. These people are eaten alive by their demons, and live a half life of neither dead or alive, and forever walk the earth tormented like a zombie. This is no life fit for a human. Human's life should be filled with laughter and joy and understanding, with curiosity and love and passion. Yet if even once we are drawn into that negative, hateful existence we are most likely to linger there like a piece of log being drawn to the whirlpool.

A human's heart should mimic the piece of heaven we all yearned to achieve: beautiful, calm, serene, peaceful; a place where all wants no longer matter, a place where God can (and) will be present as we walk peacefully with Him in such haven. It should not be a place of chaos and anger and pain. It should be a piece of heaven, not the hell itself. And we need to cultivate it. We need to grow grass in the once arrid land, grow trees and tend the fruit trees, make it as pretty as we want to. Nothing is given in this world, and even the heaven in us should start with the one person responsible for it: ourself.

Beloved fellow humans,

May peace be upon you
May your heart be beautiful
May your life be meaningful

May you never feel the sorrow of hell inside
May you find the serenity of heaven inside

May you love yourself and others
May you feel the love of God
May peace forever be in you

Come home to heaven in your heart,
God is waiting for you there.

Kalori Kosong

Kalo baca status motivasional biasanya pada manggut-manggut dan merasa tercerahkan bagai minum krim pemutih. Padahal banyak lho status motivasional yang seperti Frappucinonya starbux, sedap dimulut dan penuh kalori tapi kalori kosong. Habis minum bukannya kenyang malah diabetes eh maksud saya masih lapar, atau malah jadi inguh/gelisah sendiri.

Jualan motivasi mah sama seperti jualan agama, modal kecil hasil maksimal. Pokoknya asal Salam Super atau jargon positif lainnya laris manis deh, biarpun itu tadi, cuma kalori kosong. Bagus kalo kalori kosongnya cuma cuapan sendiri, seringkali nyolong terang-terangan dari motivator lain yang juga nyolong. Walhasil satu foto/konten/postingan bisa nongol dari 3-4 orang lain secara serentak di timeline fesbuk, tanpa info siapa sebenarnya pemilik konten tersebut. Ceramahnya soal memperbaiki diri tapi nyolong jalan terus. Jyahhhh....

Gimana membedakan motivator yang asli dengan yang kalori kosong? Yang asli biasanya feelnya ada. Yang paling penting dari motivasi inspirasi etc itu adalah honesty, kejujuran. Orang yang sudah pernah merasakan hilangnya harta akibat boros pastinya bisa ceramah pengaturan keuangan dengan lebih menggebu daripada yang sekedar tahu dari bacaan. Pun mereka nggak mempromosikan sesuatu yang mereka nggak bisa jamin kebenarannya.

Misalnya saja: "Dengan mengubah pola pikir anda anda bisa sukses!". Ini sebenarnya nggak salah lho. Biar saya sampai bego berpikir saya pantas jadi Miss Universe nggak mungkin saya bisa jadi Miss Universe; tapi kalau saya mengubah pola pikir saya dan menggapai hal-hal yang memang keahlian saya tentunya saya bisa sukses juga dan tak perduli bahwa saya bukan Miss Universe. Sayangnya ini biasanya diselewengkan dan jadilah orang-orang berdasi lusuh berusaha menjajakan dagangan (mlm) nya sambil terus berharap dan bermimpi "Saya akan sukses!". Padahal sukses bukan cuma attitude dan mind set, sukses juga kudu punya skill.

Mau bagaimana lagi, yang dijual motivatornya juga bahan mentah, apa iya yang beli bisa dapat nutrisinya? Ibarat jual beras vs jual nasi, yang pintar dan bermodal (kompor, dandang, kayu bakar) pastinya bisa mendapat manfaat lebih dari beras mentah, tapi yang nggak punya/kurang cerdas dan/atau kurang modal lebih perlu nasi yang sudah jadi. Susahnya ya itu, kalau yang jualan juga sebenarnya nggak bermodal dan nggak berpikir. Lebih susah lagi kalau yang jualan juga cuma mikirin untungnya saja, peduli setan nasib yang beli.

Motivator dan agamawan itu harusnya orang-orang yang sangat mencintai sesamanya, makanya tujuan hidup mereka membuat hidup orang lain lebih baik via motivasi atau ajaran agama mereka. They believe in human, mereka percaya akan kekuatan manusia. Berasa lho bedanya dengar teman yang bilang "You can do it!" karena mereka benar-benar percaya sama kita dan ingin kita berhasil, vs yang basa-basi "Yeah loe pasti bisa kok" padahal nggak peduli. Motivator dan agamawan yang terbaik juga yang sudah pernah mencicip ajarannya sendiri. Ibarat koki, yang paling oke adalah yang sering masak dan berpengalaman, bukan newbie yang cuma modal sekian banyak buku memasak.

Tapi apa kita peduli? Nggak juga. Buktinya frappucino laku terus bukan? Kopi hitam di cafe terkenal juga dianggap lebih elit dari kopi hitam di warkop pinggiran, walau sebenarnya nggak bisa ngebedain rasanya. Kita suka yang bling-bling, yang wah, yang instan. Kita suka minuman manis yang bikin kita merasa super dengan instan walau isinya cuma kalori kosong.  Nggak apa-apa sih sebenarnya, asal jangan cuma itu saja asupan kalorinya. Bisa busung lapar otak dan hati nantinya.

Kenapa saya reseh? Mungkin karena saya cinta manusia, termasuk anda-anda yang membaca tulisan saya sampai sejauh ini. We can do better, you can do better daripada cuma jadi mangsa para motivator penjual kalori kosong ini. Enak bener mereka cuap-cuap tanpa mampu mempertanggungjawabkan jualannya. Tapi ya itu tadi, semua balik ke anda untuk beli frappucino atau beli es degan (yang paling nggak ada tape dan jeli nya), antara beli mi instan (baca: spagheti) merk luar negeri vs mie tek-tek abang-abang. Pilihlah menu yang menutrisi hati dan otak ya mas/mbak, dan yang disajikan dengan pengetahuan serta pengalaman yang memadai. Buat diri sendiri pastikan yang terbaik :)

The Fire Burns

The fire danced merrily
The beautiful peaks
The irresistible glow
The promise of warmth
And the fool was enthralled

Look. Do not touch. It is not yours.

She touched it anyway
The burns still pained her
Yet still she sat there, engrossed
Her hands stretched forward
Ready for yet another embrace

Look. Do not touch. Let go.

She had poured sand on it
Sharp sand that scraped her
She had poured water on it
Cold water that shocked her
Still the fire burns

Look. Do not touch. Enough.

Can't she simply enjoy?
Can't she simply ignore?
In the world of darkness
In the world of loneliness
The fire burns ever so bright

Look away. Step away. Go.

The pain is the pricking of a thousand needles
The sting of seawater over wound
The scab and scar debilitate her
Yet the fire still burns
The fool still stays

Inhale. Exhale. Accept

One day she will walk away
The day will come, the night will end
She will dance as merry as the fire
Glowing as bright as the fire
She will be the fire

But till then, the fire burns….

Miracle on The Hill Street

I can feel my head spun a bit as I walk to their table. Two ladies in red. We met on the elevator on our way to the swanky rooftop French Bistro in DTLA. I had overheard them saying it was one of the ladies' birthday, and they had been so nice as to wave to me from their table and even offering me a martini, "My treat!" she had mouthed from a far. To which I regretfully declined with a smile. I was already too buzzed from my Writer's Block. But they were nice, and the day was beautiful. So I went to say Happy Birthday to them before I leave. What happened (in a true click-bait style) was unbelievable.

I told them Happy Birthday. I thanked them for their kind gesture. I explained to them that I was ready to pack up my bag and go home to Indonesia because I feel there's nothing left for me here. Angel and Grace (let's called them that way, such fitting names) told me I shouldn't give up. Grace was married to a Dutch-Indonesian and she raved about how delicious Gado-gado and Rijstaffel are, and that Indonesian food is simply the best in the world. Grace compliment my necklace, given to me by my mom, and insist that I am here in LA for a reason; that we were there together for a reason. She told me that the elevator got held up 4 times before I came. 4 times it came but won't go up. Until I came. I almost cried in happiness and disbelief there, and Grace exclaimed: "Best birthday gift ever!" And over and over again they say: Don't go home just yet, don't give up.

Miracle is not only a comatose person woke up in the nick of time before they cut off the life support. Miracle is not only winning a jackpot or finding a treasure out of the blue. Miracle is not only parting the sea so people could pass, or turn water into wine. Miracle is finding the gentle arms of God around you, when you feel like you can't take it anymore. Miracle is looking at the cityscape of Los Angeles, defeated and broken inside, and have God sit next to you and say "Chill girl, you're good." And yes, miracle happens to me, to us, every single day. Everyone that I cross path with, every smile and every nice words, every laughter and every kindness, they are all miracles. It doesn't have to happen, but it did. And it happened for a reason.

But as much as I want to thank God for the miracles, I realize that the miracles can only happen because of God's other miracle: human. We are a pile of flesh and bones and liquid that moves, make decision, better ourselves. From the moment of our creation till the day that we die our body is a miracle in itself. Our action is another miracle. How we act, how we think, what we say, they all have impact to other people. Not merely in a lowest sense of 'protecting territory' or 'mating', but also to make ourselves better, or worse. What I did in LA can make an impact for a person in Indonesia, or a reader in South Africa. Let it sink for a moment. No other creature in this earth could make such a big impact to one another except us human, be it good or bad. The women choose to be nice to me. I choose to went over to say Happy Birthday. No strings attached, no hidden agenda, yet I was rewarded with a miracle.

The world is suffering. We see pain, poverty, hunger, and everything bad wherever we go. But do people have to be more unfortunate than you to receive your grace and kindness? It's easy to feel sorry for people who are visibly in need, but what about others who do not, cannot, show their pain? The ladies in red didn't have to be that nice to me, I was a nobody to them. Neither do I look in need for help that afternoon. But they choose to be nice to me, as many other before them. And I choose to be nice to them, just because I think it's nice to be nice. And it made a great difference for me. Imagine all the other people that you, that we, could have saved if only we did random act of kindness. Imagine all the smile, the happiness, the joy you could, we could, bring to this world.

Kindness is something that has to be given freely. Not because you think you should because God says so, or because society presses you to do so. Kindness should happen because you feel it's right, because you want to treat people the way you want to be treated. Kindness means stripping out another person's identity (clothing, facial features, skin color, belief, etc) in your head and see the human soul inside him/her. Kindness means no judgement, no prejudice. Kindness means loving others, just like a lot of religion have preached. And you know what, kindness feels so damn good; both for the giver and for the receiver.

I might never meet the ladies in red again. It all maybe just an inebriated night for all of us. But the miracle has happened and it is mine forever. On the day I was lost I was found again. On the day I was lonely I was embraced again. On the day I was broken I was mend again. Thank you God for your miracle, thank you ladies in red that made the miracle happen. Isn't human awesome?!