The [Not So] Golden Ways Untuk Menghargai Wanita

Saya benar-benar berharap para motivator ternama berhenti menyesatkan pengikutnya. Serius. Seperti dibawah ini contohnya, benar-benar sesat menurut saya.

Sesat Pertama

Berharap manusia berubah sama saja seperti berharap dia akan tumbuh tanduk. Serius. Bukan tidak mungkin sih, tapi kemungkinannya amat-sangat kecil dan sebaiknya tidak menggantungkan harapan akan perubahan itu. Pasti anda sering sekali mendengar: Oh, dia pasti berubah kalau sudah menikah/punya anak/punya cucu. Jangan salah, kalau dasarnya tidak ingin berubah atau tidak mau berusaha berubah, seorang manusia tidak akan berubah. Makanya ada istilah: "Nabi saja tidak bisa merubah manusia, apalagi sesama manusia". Orang yang dasarnya pelit kemungkinan besar akan pelit seumur hidup, begitu pula dengan orang yang dasarnya mudah percaya, orang yang dasarnya royal, dan laki-laki yang suka wanita. Tidak percaya? Lihat saja Hugh Hefner, pendiri Playboy, yang diusia 86 tahun lebih masih menikah dengan wanita muda berusia 26 tahun. Buat saya pesan bahwa "pria akan berubah" ini menyesatkan bagi para wanita, karena seolah wanita harus memahfumi dan berharap bahwa sang pria akan berubah jadi lebih baik. Bila anda memiliki pasangan yang 'tidak baik' (baik pria maupun wanita), hal pertama yang harus anda tanyakan pada diri anda adalah: "Apakah saya bisa hidup dengannya bila dia tidak berubah?" dan bukannya "Kapan ya dia berubah?". Jangan pernah berharap manusia akan berubah, realistis sajalah. 

Sesat Kedua

Ngomong-ngomong soal 'pria nakal', apa sih kategori nakal itu? Suka wanita atau sering gonta-ganti pacar begitu? Lalu bagaimana dengan 'wanita nakal' yang juga hobi kencan dengan berbagai pria? Saya tidak habis pikir kenapa di gambar itu tulisannya soal pria nakal dan dia bisa berubah, kenapa tidak 'orang' nakal (pria dan wanita) dan mereka bisa berubah? Kesan yang saya tangkap kita harus percaya bahwa 'pria nakal' bisa jadi baik, dan mensyukuri bila memang mereka berubah menjadi baik. Kalau 'wanita nakal' bagaimana? Tidakkah mereka juga berhak mendapat 'kepercayaan dan pensyukuran' yang sama dengan 'pria nakal'? Entah kenapa kalau 'pria nakal' bertobat dan jadi baik orang akan mengangguk paham dan berkata: "Syukurlah dia bertobat...". Tapi kalau 'wanita nakal' bertobat tetap saja lidah bergoyang: "Ih, dia kan wanita nakal..." atau "Gayanya bertobat, paling masih liar tuh..." atau "Terlambat, sudah rusak dia!". Ibaratnya, pria itu dianggap seperti sepatu boot yang semakin banyak dipakai semakin terlihat tangguh, sementara wanita dianggap seperti baju blus yang bila ada noda setitik bisa langsung dibuang. Ini tidak adil dan tidak masuk akal. Penyakit menular seksual itu tidak pandang jenis kelamin lho, begitupula ketidak ma(mp)uan untuk bertahan dengan satu pasangan saja alias doyan jajan. Bertobat juga tidak pandang jenis kelamin. Hidup itu harus adil dan harus bisa menghargai satu sama lain. Bila anda memutuskan 'pria nakal' bisa bertobat, maka seharusnya anda juga memutuskan 'wanita nakal' bisa bertobat. Kita sama-sama manusia toh?

Sesat Kedua Setengah

Lanjut dengan yang diatas, pastinya ada yang berpendapat kalau wanita harusnya menjaga dirinya karena wanita begitu berharga. Lah, memang pria tidak berharga? Atau kalau wanita lebih berharga daripada pria, kenapa anda tidak mengacungkan golok dan obor pada pria-pria yang 'merusak' wanita ini? Anda tidak bisa 'nakal' sendirian, harus ada partnernya bukan? Bila 'wanita nakal' dianggap sedemikian rusaknya sehingga tidak bisa diperbaiki/harus dijauhi, bukankah seharusnya kita menjatuhkan sanksi sosial yang jauh lebih keras untuk para pria yang mengakomodir kenakalan si wanita ini karena mereka merusak sesuatu yang sangat berharga?

Sesat Ketiga

Saya seorang wanita yang menghargai diri saya, dan saya lebih memilih punya pasangan baik daripada bertahan dengan pasangan yang tidak baik dan berharap dia berubah. Wanita yang bertahan di deraan dan akhirnya berhasil mengubah pasangannya menjadi lebih baik selalu dianggap wanita super dan 'berhasil' atau accomplished. Tapi coba pikir, bila anda punya anak/cucu/saudara perempuan apakah anda benar-benar ingin anak/cucu/saudara perempuan anda memaksakan diri hidup dalam ketidakbahagiaan karena berharap si pasangan suatu saat akan berubah? Ada orang-orang yang memang hobi/punya pembawaan martir (atau memang sadokis, senang disakiti) dan mau bertahan dalam ketidakbahagiaan, dan beberapa dari mereka memang pada akhirnya pasangannya berubah jadi lebih baik. Good for you, kata saya. Tapi ingat, banyak yang tidak seberuntung ini. Dunia ini penuh orang brengsek lho. Dan kalau anda memutuskan anda tidak ingin bersama pasangan anda yang nakal, monggo pergi. Yang lain tolong jangan menjudge dan mem-peer pressure wanita-wanita ini dengan label "Tidak tahan cobaan", atau "bukan wanita sejati". Setiap manusia, baik pria maupun wanita, berhak hidup tenteram dan tidak tersakiti. Oh, dan para pria yang tidak mau berpasangan dengan wanita nakal karena berpikir: "Kok kamu bisa dengan gampangnya menyerahkan diri kepada pria lain??", para wanita juga berhak (dan seharusnya) berpikir tentang pria nakal: "Kok kamu lemah mental sekali dan tidak mampu menjaga syahwat mu??". Pria baik [konon] akan mendapatkan wanita baik, maka dengan demikian wanita baik juga berhak pilih-pilih dan mencari pria baik, bukan cuma sekedar dapat sisa-sisa dan diwajibkan bersyukur karenanya. Please deh, hari gini bo'.

Kalau anda baca Facebook nya motivator ini, banyak postingannya yang bernada kurang respek terhadap wanita, dan ini sangat disayangkan. Contohnya saja postingan diatas soal wanita menyuruh anda berhemat, lalu istilah dia Work Shop [pria work wanita shop], atau "Wanita itu seperti anak-anak, tidak bisa mendengar janji. Dia langsung percaya, dan menagih setiap hari". Dan imbuhan/tambahan ASIMH (Awas Status Ini Mengandung Humor) buat saya tidak membantu, karena ini hanya akan membuat orang-orang menganggap status-status ini lucu dan makna sebenarnya tidak penting. Apa iya untuk membuat seseorang merasa bangga akan dirinya sendiri/termotivasi harus mengorbankan/merendahkan wanita? Di era dimana wanita bekerja bukan lagi suatu privilege/hak istimewa melainkan suatu keharusan (jaman sekarang hidup cuma dari satu penghasilan saja itu berat lho), joke-joke seperti ini seharusnya sudah diambang kepunahan. Bahkan dimasa lalu dimana wanita jadi ibu rumah tangga, tugas mereka pun tidak mudah lho. Membesarkan anak, mengurus rumah, mengatur keuangan, meladeni suami, ini semua tidak bisa dilakukan sekadarnya dan harus sepenuh hati. Dan ya, pria juga doyan Shop, lihat saja banyaknya butik atau produk khusus pria sekarang ini; pria juga kadang sibuk menagih janji seperti anak-anak; dan seterusnya. Bukan 'pria' atau 'wanita' yang melakukan hal-hal seperti ini, tapi 'MANUSIA'. 

Saya bukan feminis dan saya tidak percaya hak wanita lebih besar daripada hak pria. Saya Equalist/percaya persamaan derajat dan saya percaya wanita dan pria harus diperlakukan sama. Bila anda menghujat para wanita nakal, hujatlah para pria nakal juga. Bila anda mensyukuri pria nakal yang bertobat, syukurilah wanita nakal yang bertobat juga. Dan bukan cuma anda para pria baik yang bisa menggeleng jijik dan bilang "Dia kan wanita nakal....", para wanita baik juga bisa (dan sebaiknya) melakukan hal yang sama dan bukannya disuruh berharap pria nakal ini akan berubah. Sekali lagi, ini bukan pria vs wanita. Ini adalah menghargai sesama manusia, apapun jenis kelaminnya. Para pria yang membaca artikel ini mungkin menganggap saya ekstrim, tapi tolong pikir baik-baik: apakah ini yang anda inginkan untuk anak-anak perempuan anda, dianggap tidak kompeten/hobi belanja/kekanakan/dan harus mengamini para pria nakal? Ini bukan cuma sekedar joke lucu. Setidaknya setengah jumlah manusia di Bumi ini adalah wanita dan semakin banyak dari para wanita ini yang bisa hidup mandiri. Dunia sudah bukan monopoli pria, dan saat ini semakin terlihat jelas bahwa pria membutuhkan kerjasama wanita. Atau lebih tepatnya, saat ini terlihat jelas betapa pentingnya kerjasama antar sesama manusia, terlepas dari suku agama ras atau jenis kelamin. Sudah saatnya kita melihat pria dan wanita setara bila kita ingin maju dan hidup harmonis. Kita 'MANUSIA', titik. Mari saling menghargai.

Their Bedroom, Their Life. Keep Off, Please.

I like sex. I really do. Coming from where I am, it is an awkward thing to say, not to mention dangerous. My culture is pretty much still a very conservative one, and sex truly is one of the big No-no. At least for the women. In my college years, sex talk with my girl friends is nothing more than a barrage of sexual innuendos. No detail explanation and such, and you will have to actually find someone who is known far and wide as 'sexually active' to get into the nitty gritty. And even then, chances are it wouldn't be nothing more than: Yeah, he's pretty okay. Once I had a co-worker who were already married, and apparently had no issue telling us in complete detail how her sexual life was. I remember thinking how cool it is, but looking back I could sense her desperation. None of my other co-workers are married and obviously not ready to give feedback how our own sexual life was (if any). And I thought to myself: Ok, you like sex. So?

To some, sex is the best thing in life; for others it may not be so. To some, sex is holy and should be done only with your lawful wedded spouse; for others it is a fun activities like Pilates or jogging. To some, it is absolutely necessary that you all should know how much they like sex; for others they wish to have no say or whatsoever about their sexual life, even though it is so spicy and saucy it'll break any Vivid video record. However one viewed sex, it's his/her own personal belief and preference; and no other person have the right to cast judgement. Just as any of personal beliefs and preferences.

Reading this article about The Duke Porn Star's Empowerment make me cringe. As other commentators put it: it is her decision to be a porn star, why does it make her less powerful than other women? Women these days are no longer the ones cried by Gwen Stefani: "I'm just a girl in the world... That's all that you'll let me be!". Women these days are perfectly capable of making their own decision, even convicted as rapist/sexual offender. But guess where the fingers pointing at for sex issues like this? Yup, yours truly: women. Even women have no holding back on judging other women on sex issues, as the article said: "So being choked, spit on and degraded is now empowering? Feminist logic…I’d rather have my dignity and loans than work as a prostitute." That sums up the women's [and to some extent world's] problem: who are you to say s*** about anyone's decision as long as it is not hurting you or anyone else? 

Why do we look down on women who had nasty partners and say she is incapable of getting a good man, but voiced our sympathy for men who had nastier partners (and added oh that poor poor man just for added sympathy)? Why do we call horrible names for women who slept with many men but honor/adore the men who slept with many women? Infidelity is a serious issue for both men and women, especially considering how long a human child needs to be reared before he/she can fend off for him/herself. Having a complete set of parents who are willing to cooperate and committed to one another would be more beneficial for a child. Diseases also affect both men and women, and no matter what your gender is the more sexual partner you have the higher your risk is to get sexually transmitted disease. As for integrity and pride: women who [are rumored to] sleep with many men are considered 'loose' and disgraceful; but what does it say about men whose maturity is highly questionable because he couldn't [make the effort] to commit to a single woman, and very much insecure that they needed to have sex with other women to prove their masculinity? When you take out the myth of "Men vs Women" and see them just as they are, the vulnerable human being a.k.a Homo Sapiens, you will see that regardless of the gender we are the same and have to face the same problem when we choose to have multiple partners.

As a woman, I do not encourage my fellow women to go all and about with sex in the name of empowerment. Nor do men, in that matter. Sexually transmitted diseases for one, emotional distress, and also the worst thing possible: accidental baby; it is [in my opinion] not really worth it to go all these just to stated that you are the cool/hip chic or the studly man who has juicy sex life. You don't need a big number of sexual partners to define who you are, do you? Maybe you do, but even so I have no right to cast judgement on your decision. As for those who still insist on poking your nose in somebody else's bedroom [a.k.a sexual life], here's a guidelines:

1) Does it affect you directly and personally [e.g. the person is sleeping with your partner]? --> if no, please shut up; if yes, continue to the next question.

2) If this person is a woman, will you cast equal judgement if she is a man instead (e.g. calling him a good for nothing lowly piece of shit and a waste of oxygen for sleeping with 3 different women in a week?) --> if no, please shut up; if yes, please fell free to also bash all the men you've heard or known to have non-committal sex with even though it was back in the days and yes, it's probably including your own loved ones or your homie bros. You'd probably considered as a demented person and nobody wants to be with you anymore, but fair is fair, right?

Think about it. How is it that for a women having multiple non-committed sexual partners are looked down as if [or even more than] if she committed a crime? In a crime someone else's rights are taken, be it their belonging or even their soul; in sexual activity, provided that it's with consent there are no rights taken. And at the same time, how is it that a man who have multiple non-committed sexual partners are consider as prized or studly? The number of his partner in bed does not reflect his own ability to deal with life. You probably wanted to be homeboys or girlfriend to this stud who seemed to be able to get laid anytime anywhere, but when it comes to serious decision like business the number of women this stud has doesn't mean jacksh*t. Stop glorifying men's multiple 'gig' and shaming women's: if you want to shame then shame them all, if you want to glorify then glorify them all. We, after all, are humans; men and women alike. Remember: Their bedroom, their life. Now keep off, please.

The Baby Mama's Dilemma: Put an Implant On It!

Tagline: The Baby Mama's guide to Tracking Down

a Deadbeat, Finding His Cash and Making Him

Pay Every Dollar He Owes You

I don't understand. I just don't understand. In a country where health support is far superior than a lot of other country in the world, in a country where getting contraception is as easy as getting your nails done, in a country where you can talk about sex freely and get proper sex advice, why on earth this so-called-baby mama is still existed?

In US children are a huge issue, or at least the source of many issues. Abortion, for one; and education; and even welfare/SNAP debate. And eventually this lead to one source: Women, who happened to gave birth to these children because they are the ones with the ovaries and wombs. Coming from a country where I couldn't even buy birth control pill without getting a very dirty look from the cashier or getting a "You whore" stare when I obtain a pack of condom (and know for sure they would gossip me afterwards), it is insane to see women who had babies without properly planned for it. There are rape victims, yes, and there are also couples which the dead-beat dads got cold feet and left the moms; but then there are also many others who decided they would have sex just because they can and all those YOLO swag. Don't believe me? Check the Facebook on Friday. All conveniently brag about sex, all conveniently forget mentioning about proper protection. No, I am not talking about protection against STDs. STDs are curable, and even with AIDS you can still live a good life and not become a burden to your family. I am talking about protection against pregnancy, because a child would stay with you to the rest of your life and affected life of everyone around you, because a child deserved to be born where he/she is wanted and have a good environment to grow and have a better chance in life. And this, is what women should know and realize.

For those of you who would argue that men should be held responsible as well, guess what, we women are the ones with ovaries and wombs. That means we are the one who should be more careful and think ahead for the sake of our unborn children (which nature had been so kindly reminding us of their existence every once a month during our period). It is not fair and women deserve fairness and equality just like men? Then let me ask you, what is your definition about fairness and equality? The freedom to have sex anytime you want? Observe dear women, we are created different than men; not that we are lesser than they are, but simply that women and men are different from one another. Women and men have different body shape, that's for one. How the female genital is shaped made it very easy for diseases to go unnoticed, and the inward position (directly inside the body) made it very easy to get infected as opposed to male genital which conveniently jutted out. Men have faster response on sex drive too: ever seen how a man's genital go erect just by seeing picture of boobs and nipples and ass? Women basically can't get high and wet and ready for sex just by visual stimulation only, at least not as quickly as men. Think about it, if women does have the same speed and urge on sex drive then we'd have as many Phytons as Hooters.

I believe a man should be responsible for his action, and that includes his choice in baby-making a.k.a sex. Yet it is not enough to just blab and screamed: "Men should be responsible!". Tell me, when was the last time you've seen or heard things (articles, memes, songs) - especially by men - that condemns men who had many ladies? I think every cool boys video clip I've seen would have at least a woman in it (in exception to love ballads - but no cool men listened to love ballads anyway), and in rap musics sometimes they'd have a horde of girls. The message is clear: You are a man only if you have girls flocking to you. This is the mantra that has been repeated over and over again, and there is no or very little effort to change it to what it supposed to be: The amount of girls you had sex with had no correlation of whatsoever to your manliness. To make matters worse, it is difficult for men to control their sexual stimulation. Telling a man to not get excited about a woman's body is like telling an OCD person to just get easy with things. True, men had no rights to sexually harassed women just because how the women dressed; but think it from their perspective: that see-through dress that you wear which artistically showing silhouette of your thong and that nice perky ass or the hard nipple that can be seen from your tight thin tube top is - to their mind - like a dynamite dropped into an open fire. You might like the pretty explosion (i.e men's attention), but you can end up getting burned pretty badly too.

Men and women are different, period. You want to have as many sex as you want just like men did, go ahead. But please, please, please protect yourself from pregnancy for your own sake and the sake of your unborn child. If you really want a child, make sure you discussed it with your partner and he complied to it. It is not fair to go ahead and made baby with a man who strictly said he didn't want a child, and then asked him to pay for child support. If you want the baby but your partner doesn't, imagine it like having a sperm donor and let the father out of the way. If he said yes but then got cold feet, go for it and get him responsible for his previous "Yes". But there is no reason to sue him for child support if you yourself failed to protect yourself from unwanted pregnancy. Will you sue someone because they gave you HIV or other STDs during your unprotected conscientious sex? No, right. Then why you should sue him for the child? It doesn't seemed fair, but that's just how life is. Just like how it isn't fair that us women could easily got undetected STDs or Cervix cancer from our sexual escapades, and men don't have to worry (too much) about it. Seriously why risk yourself with 9 months of pregnancy and a lifetime burden of a child just for your ego? For some stupid "If men can do it so can I"? Trust me, if men could ever experience the full pregnancy they would think many times before having sex unprotected.

You want men to be responsible? Then change your own perspective. Be this cool person who can talk to your son/nephew/young cousin/grandson/etc that a real man is a responsible man, who respect women and not objectifying them. Be someone people can look up to and spread this wisdom. Think twice before you risk yourself with a child. It's not fair for the child to be born without his/her father around, because it is his/her birthright to have a father. And if you are not mature enough to be a parent together with the baby daddy, put the 3 year birth-control implant under your arm (or even vasectomy for men) so everyone could live happily ever after. When speaking of sex and the child risk, it was never about you and what you want, it was always about the future child. Stop treating a child like an object, a leverage to get baby daddy's cash like the book clearly stated. It is so hurtful and disrespecting for the child involved. A friend's baby mama demanded child support, but made no effort of whatsoever for the baby daddy to spend more time with the child and very uncooperative when he asked for more time. This is absurd because child support money would helped her household, but the dad's presence would be more invaluable to the child. This is like wanting a child and the money to support it, but no father involved. How selfish can it be? In cases of deadbeat dad, sure, money is better than nothing. But when the father is willing and have no issue that can endanger the child, it is incomprehensible for the mom to keep the dad away just because they have a "fall out". Face it, a child is made by a man and a woman and the relationship that they have will stay forever as long as the child live.

Noticed that if a similar expression is used on men it would be taken as compliment? 

Or that this kind of bashing is mostly found on women's social-media page?

Welcome to the "Equality", ladies. 

Can't deal with such complex emotional issue? Put the goddamn birth control implant on. Not the measly birth pill that you have to take everyday on the exact hour (it's a miracle for me to arrived at work every single fucking day on the exact fucking time, let alone to remember to drink my pills), not the vagi-ring or hormone patch that only worked a month or three, but good solid long term reversible contraception that would keep you safe for years to come. Protect yourself and be responsible for your own safety. Remember though, no contraception is 100% safe and you will always have the child risk factor every time you had sex, even with condom. Just like you have a chance to crash your car when you driving impaired (or even driving in general). Life is always a risky business, but hey that's life. Don't kid yourself, really. 

Save Those Hotties err Kitties!!!

Taken from Kittendales Calendar, The 2014 edition is the seventh annual calendar featuring "kitties and hotties" to raise money for the Hull Seaside Animal Rescue (HSAR) in Massachusetts.
Read more about it here.

Amen to this!!! God knows how we need to save the hotties, err the kitties!!
Yes, as I told you before women enjoy this kind of thing too ;)

Feeling degraded boys? Bummed out because you are not got enough like that sexy piece of male specimen (the one in denim, not the one in furs)? Got that nasty feeling in your gut that you were being objectified and vilified? Or have the surge of pride instead? We women deal with those emotions every time we are being portrayed or portraying ourselves for the pleasure of men, and yes it doesn't always feels nice. Welcome to the club!!

Bust That Bust-y Move!

"The part of a woman’s body men look at the most?
I hope you are sitting down, because I'm about to give you the shock of your life...."

And according to the said article, the answer is....... Breasts!!!
Yes, yes, feel free to bump your head in unison to the desk.

Elvira, the only character I know that successfully match her boobs and her personality

I hope the writer was joking or she was being sarcastic, because I seriously doubt that this comes a shock to anyone. I mean, even a blooming adolescent (a.k.a teenager) would know that. It is difficult not to gaze upon those little hills (or to depict Pamela Anderson's or Christina Hendrick's: the huge treasure chests). Even for the slow thinker, you must have realize by now there is indeed a reason why women selfies on the internet (or ones that you receive/sent) almost always include these handful part of the bodies. And yes, there is also a reason why boob job is always in popular demand. This is no mystery of life, this is common knowledge.

That asides, the reason I wrote with puns and sexual innuendo is because I don't understand why looking at boobies is widely frowned upon. As the article say, women also look at other women's chest too. I know I do, and I notice my girl friends do too. Well, some of them look at their shoes and hairdo first, each to each own I guess. But for men, well... Quoting the article: "Men look at chests and waists for longer periods of time than they look at faces." Chests and waists are the tell-tale sign of how reproductive a woman is, at least theoretically. Thus it actually make sense if men in general look at women like that. I would be very surprised (and totally freaked out) if a man come to me and said lustily: "You have a very sexy thumb, it arouses me...". This, of course, still a plausible scenario; but again, each to each own.

Here's a picture of my thumb. You are welcome.

Which brings me to another side of the booby-trap, the discomfort and unpleasantness women often feel when men ogling their chests. Men (and some women too), I just want to tell you that although I can understand you throwing glances at a woman's chests, you are not supposed to stare them to eternity. Appreciative glances are ok, the "You... Me... Tonight..." glances are never ok (and ladies, you are welcome to call the police or take action for this). Imagine if someone stare at the bulk in your groin for like a whole minute or more, what would you feel? (I assume the lot of you men would feel uncomfortable, but for those individuals that cherish the pleasure, you're welcome).

Am I being malicious towards my fellow women? Heck no! If you think women wouldn't notice Christian Bale or Channing Tatum crossing the street topless then you got us soooo wrong. I believe that women is also appreciative to men's body, but we just don't show it as open as our male counterpart. Therefore I see no reason why men can't check out women's body, because sure as hell we can check out theirs as well. This is what equality is all about. What confuses me is women who dressed up in low-neck shirts that accentuate their chests, and then complained about being ogled and stated: "I am more than just a set of boobs you know!!". Uhhh.... well then cover up and let me see what you got, because Thelma and Louise kinda distracting me. Yes by the way, I am a straight woman, thanks for asking. It is similar to a man  who decked out with fancy suit and expensive cars (and platinum cards, woohoo!!) and moaned: "I am more than just a stack of money." Yes honey, sure you are, by the way those earrings at Tiffany would look awesome on me, don't you think? Or a man with six pack abs and a killer smile who is so hot he could melt Sauron's ring in a flash: "I am just an ordinary man. I have feelings too." Sure love, I totally get it. What's your phone number again?

We. Must. Not. Ogle

We. Must. Not. Ogle

We. Must. Not...

OMIGOD!!!!

In a shell, given a chance I think women would do exactly what men would do in terms of appreciating the opposite gender's body. Thus unless it is become displeasing and worrisome (seriously, ogling on us too long and make lewd comments or offensive gesture is just so tactless and worth a visit - your visit - to the police), I think people should just chill out with this busty-move, especially in terms of relationship. A lot of women got hung up if they found their partner checking out or complementing other women. I don't think your partner would leave you just because he found other people's breasts fascinating (but if he specifically offer you a boob job to fit his fantasies, you might want to leave him. Or not. Depends whether you want the free boob job or not). If we women get faint and woozy after a seeing Ryan Gosling or Hugh Jackman, let the men have their own fun too. The borderline is, in my opinion, when it becomes disrespectful towards you as the video below comically portray. I mean like, d'oh.



I have boobies and I don't like when people being disrespectful towards me because of them. I don't like when people disrespectful towards me in general, especially for things that I couldn't (and/or wouldn't) change such as my race, my age, my skin color, my nationality, my body shape and size, and all that jazz. I really think that is all there is to it. The issue is not about ogling at boobies, the issue is being respectful vs disrespectful; and as I stated above, the line is pretty clear. We know you guys are fascinated by us, but keep it civil and respectful kay. We'll respect you even more for that, even though you don't have the six pack abs or the legendary Black Amex. See, us women can be judgmental too if we want ;)