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Wednesday, January 22, 2014

The Baby Mama's Dilemma: Put an Implant On It!

Tagline: The Baby Mama's guide to Tracking Down
a Deadbeat, Finding His Cash and Making Him
Pay Every Dollar He Owes You

I don't understand. I just don't understand. In a country where health support is far superior than a lot of other country in the world, in a country where getting contraception is as easy as getting your nails done, in a country where you can talk about sex freely and get proper sex advice, why on earth this so-called-baby mama is still existed?

In US children are a huge issue, or at least the source of many issues. Abortion, for one; and education; and even welfare/SNAP debate. And eventually this lead to one source: Women, who happened to gave birth to these children because they are the ones with the ovaries and wombs. Coming from a country where I couldn't even buy birth control pill without getting a very dirty look from the cashier or getting a "You whore" stare when I obtain a pack of condom (and know for sure they would gossip me afterwards), it is insane to see women who had babies without properly planned for it. There are rape victims, yes, and there are also couples which the dead-beat dads got cold feet and left the moms; but then there are also many others who decided they would have sex just because they can and all those YOLO swag. Don't believe me? Check the Facebook on Friday. All conveniently brag about sex, all conveniently forget mentioning about proper protection. No, I am not talking about protection against STDs. STDs are curable, and even with AIDS you can still live a good life and not become a burden to your family. I am talking about protection against pregnancy, because a child would stay with you to the rest of your life and affected life of everyone around you, because a child deserved to be born where he/she is wanted and have a good environment to grow and have a better chance in life. And this, is what women should know and realize.

For those of you who would argue that men should be held responsible as well, guess what, we women are the ones with ovaries and wombs. That means we are the one who should be more careful and think ahead for the sake of our unborn children (which nature had been so kindly reminding us of their existence every once a month during our period). It is not fair and women deserve fairness and equality just like men? Then let me ask you, what is your definition about fairness and equality? The freedom to have sex anytime you want? Observe dear women, we are created different than men; not that we are lesser than they are, but simply that women and men are different from one another. Women and men have different body shape, that's for one. How the female genital is shaped made it very easy for diseases to go unnoticed, and the inward position (directly inside the body) made it very easy to get infected as opposed to male genital which conveniently jutted out. Men have faster response on sex drive too: ever seen how a man's genital go erect just by seeing picture of boobs and nipples and ass? Women basically can't get high and wet and ready for sex just by visual stimulation only, at least not as quickly as men. Think about it, if women does have the same speed and urge on sex drive then we'd have as many Phytons as Hooters.

I believe a man should be responsible for his action, and that includes his choice in baby-making a.k.a sex. Yet it is not enough to just blab and screamed: "Men should be responsible!". Tell me, when was the last time you've seen or heard things (articles, memes, songs) - especially by men - that condemns men who had many ladies? I think every cool boys video clip I've seen would have at least a woman in it (in exception to love ballads - but no cool men listened to love ballads anyway), and in rap musics sometimes they'd have a horde of girls. The message is clear: You are a man only if you have girls flocking to you. This is the mantra that has been repeated over and over again, and there is no or very little effort to change it to what it supposed to be: The amount of girls you had sex with had no correlation of whatsoever to your manliness. To make matters worse, it is difficult for men to control their sexual stimulation. Telling a man to not get excited about a woman's body is like telling an OCD person to just get easy with things. True, men had no rights to sexually harassed women just because how the women dressed; but think it from their perspective: that see-through dress that you wear which artistically showing silhouette of your thong and that nice perky ass or the hard nipple that can be seen from your tight thin tube top is - to their mind - like a dynamite dropped into an open fire. You might like the pretty explosion (i.e men's attention), but you can end up getting burned pretty badly too.

Men and women are different, period. You want to have as many sex as you want just like men did, go ahead. But please, please, please protect yourself from pregnancy for your own sake and the sake of your unborn child. If you really want a child, make sure you discussed it with your partner and he complied to it. It is not fair to go ahead and made baby with a man who strictly said he didn't want a child, and then asked him to pay for child support. If you want the baby but your partner doesn't, imagine it like having a sperm donor and let the father out of the way. If he said yes but then got cold feet, go for it and get him responsible for his previous "Yes". But there is no reason to sue him for child support if you yourself failed to protect yourself from unwanted pregnancy. Will you sue someone because they gave you HIV or other STDs during your unprotected conscientious sex? No, right. Then why you should sue him for the child? It doesn't seemed fair, but that's just how life is. Just like how it isn't fair that us women could easily got undetected STDs or Cervix cancer from our sexual escapades, and men don't have to worry (too much) about it. Seriously why risk yourself with 9 months of pregnancy and a lifetime burden of a child just for your ego? For some stupid "If men can do it so can I"? Trust me, if men could ever experience the full pregnancy they would think many times before having sex unprotected.

You want men to be responsible? Then change your own perspective. Be this cool person who can talk to your son/nephew/young cousin/grandson/etc that a real man is a responsible man, who respect women and not objectifying them. Be someone people can look up to and spread this wisdom. Think twice before you risk yourself with a child. It's not fair for the child to be born without his/her father around, because it is his/her birthright to have a father. And if you are not mature enough to be a parent together with the baby daddy, put the 3 year birth-control implant under your arm (or even vasectomy for men) so everyone could live happily ever after. When speaking of sex and the child risk, it was never about you and what you want, it was always about the future child. Stop treating a child like an object, a leverage to get baby daddy's cash like the book clearly stated. It is so hurtful and disrespecting for the child involved. A friend's baby mama demanded child support, but made no effort of whatsoever for the baby daddy to spend more time with the child and very uncooperative when he asked for more time. This is absurd because child support money would helped her household, but the dad's presence would be more invaluable to the child. This is like wanting a child and the money to support it, but no father involved. How selfish can it be? In cases of deadbeat dad, sure, money is better than nothing. But when the father is willing and have no issue that can endanger the child, it is incomprehensible for the mom to keep the dad away just because they have a "fall out". Face it, a child is made by a man and a woman and the relationship that they have will stay forever as long as the child live.

Noticed that if a similar expression is used on men it would be taken as compliment? 
Or that this kind of bashing is mostly found on women's social-media page?
Welcome to the "Equality", ladies. 

Can't deal with such complex emotional issue? Put the goddamn birth control implant on. Not the measly birth pill that you have to take everyday on the exact hour (it's a miracle for me to arrived at work every single fucking day on the exact fucking time, let alone to remember to drink my pills), not the vagi-ring or hormone patch that only worked a month or three, but good solid long term reversible contraception that would keep you safe for years to come. Protect yourself and be responsible for your own safety. Remember though, no contraception is 100% safe and you will always have the child risk factor every time you had sex, even with condom. Just like you have a chance to crash your car when you driving impaired (or even driving in general). Life is always a risky business, but hey that's life. Don't kid yourself, really. 

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