Drunk

7.30 pm passing on the floor

Too drunk to find plugs for my inflatable mattress

Too drunk to care about sleeping on the floor

Too drunk for anything else

I shouldn't polish half bottle of the plum wine

I shouldn't be so loud at the restaurant

I probably should stop crying

I probably should just go to bed

But f-ck you for your white picket fence dream

F-ck you for your Tiffany blue bedroom promise

F-ck you for making me believe this is forever

F-ck you for disconnecting me to our pup

The floor is hard but reality is even harder

I was never enough

I was never important

I was never worth the fight

F-ck you for making me cry all the way

F-ck you for the zombie mode I was in

F-ck you for the mess you put me through

F-ck you for this loss and heartache

Yet I still hold Darthsy tight tonight

Crying harder because your recorded voice was gone

Your face is still etched in my mind

But you are gone. Gone. Gone.

F-ck me for hurting you so bad

F-ck me for making you cry

F-ck my standard and my pride

F-ck my stormy anger towards you

I can't tell you how much I love you then

I can't tell you how much I love you still

I can't tell you how much I misses you

I can't tell you how much you mean to me

There will be time for glorious post

For inspiring transformation and great achievements

But now is the time for tears and pain

For you were my dream come true

You were my world, my sun, my moon

You were a treasure hoard and I am the dragon

You made me a princess when I was just a whore

You were everything good and right in this world

I miss you

I love you

I want you

I worship you

And baby please be good

Please remember you are wanted

You were loved beyond love

You are amazing, kind, and precious

My new place is full but my heart is empty

The gaping hole inside me refuse to close

The tears flowing freely like waterfall

The breaths are short and unwelcoming

I love you beyond everything, my precious

This is why it's so painful

Not just for how you make me feel

But for the person you really are

Goodbye my precious. Good bye.