Dear kiddos. This Christmas I didn't think about buying you gifts. I didn't ponder on Amazon toy section or kids section in the clothing store. I just got what I need and left. I am proud of myself.
Don't think that I forget you both. A glimpse of you running in the apartment building, a sight of you in the Facebook post, and I turned to water. I miss you so much it hurts.
I am proud of myself because I learn to take time to be me. This year I got so much gifts that it was mindblowing. Birthday, Christmas, random gifts. I am loved for who I am, and it feels... amazing.
I hope you felt amazing too when I showered you with love and gifts, because you are. I am sorry for the times I got frustrated or losing my patience. I am sorry for the times I could've been better. I am sorry I have to go.
I hold a piece of you with me, like a baby clothes that's long outgrown. You two right now are no longer the kids I hold 2.5 years ago. You've grown. We don't fit in each other's life anymore, but I still love you nonetheless.
This Christmas, I hope you get what you desire. I hope life treats you kindly. I hope you are surrounded by love. And above all, I hope you are happy. Dark time may come but light and hope will never be far behind.
Dear kiddos, I love you then, I love you now. Merry Christmas, angels.
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