The sexy oily Tonga Olympian is back. Last time he made a splash I was all too eager on sharing his pic pretty much everywhere, with the not-so-subtle caption regarding his physique. This time, not so much.
The slew of sexual harassment claims throughout 2017 made me see the world in a new way: it sucks to be objectified. It sucks being looked as if you are an object without feelings, or that your merit in life is just your physique.
So I stopped doing that. I stopped sharing sexy dude pics. I stopped following social media where the post is all about how hot and sexy some dudes are. I cringed at posts that imply sexual actions to hot dudes. I can't do it anymore.
For someone who is very sexual, it is hard. I like men. I am not going to deny it. If my face can betray what I was thinking I will be in a lot of trouble most of the times. I am known to speak very openly and sensually when I feel like to.
And why not? Don't they like it too? I am not unattractive. I know I can make their time worthwhile in the bedroom. And won't that boost their ego that this cute dame wanted them? And hey, they don't have to awkwardly ask for it. Yay!
This is wrong for two reasons: stereotyping and equality. I am stereotyping men as heartless sex craze who wants nothing but sexual favors. But some might feel a personal connection is more important. Some might want it to be special instead of slam-bam-thank-you-sir.
Equality, to put it bluntly: I don't want any of the women I know (or don't know) being put in their situation. To be publicly sexualized, to be stereotyped as "She wants it anyway", to be seen as nothing but an object to fulfill sexual desires.
For us women, I think the keyword is the phrase "It is inappropriate". It is inappropriate and unacceptable to show our sexual desires, so unladylike. Which is why we (I) see women who are more open sexually as 'badass'. They are a disgrace to some, but we adore them nonetheless.
I feel a surge of power by saying out loudly: "He's so hot I'd f*ck his brain out" or something similar. I feel I have power over someone by hitting on him hard and see him blushed. I feel great flirting with men, knowing I can please them in many ways.
In the end, it's all about power. About me feeling powerful over men. And why not? They have oppressed women for so long. They have been doing this since forever. Why can't I do it? Besides, they love it. It is fun. Stop taking it so hard. It's a game, not a dick.
But two wrong doesn't make a right. Well, three left does. By forcing myself on them, by dismissing what they might feel and preferred I have robbed their self-worth. "Here, you are nothing but a toy. Now let's play." How is this fun and comfortable?
"Men are just men," you might say in disgust. Well, some men think "Women are just women" in disgust too. It's not about gender. It's about respecting others. It's about not violating other people. It's about self-restriction and empathy. It's about being decent.
Read this note again from top to bottom, replacing the word 'men' with 'women' and vice versa. See how valid it is still? It's because we're all human. We deserve respect. We deserve to be treated decently. We have feelings and not just objects.
I know there are POS human everywhere, people who lacked empathy and brain and unable to develop any empathy of whatsoever. The same people who will cry out if the same things they did to others were done to them. We can't get rid of them, but we can choose to be NOT them.
It's 2018. Technology has moved so forward that instead of laboring as a slave and dying from Black Plague we (most of us, at least) have the time to take a step back and think: "What would I feel if it happened to me? What would that person feel if I did it to him/her?"
Empathy is an art that needs to be learned and honed. Ignorance, on the other hand, is pre-installed and only grew stronger the more you, ah, ignore it. It doesn't hurt to be respectful of others, to think them as a person and not as an object. It's not easy, but it doesn't hurt.
Will I stay lewd and sassy? Yes. Yes, I will. I am a sexual being and I have urges. That doesn't give me the right to violate others, though. My gender doesn't give me the right to violate others as well. Nothing does. I will still be lewd and sassy, but now enlightened and a lot more respectful.
Which means I will only be lewd and sassy to people who give consent, with people who give notions that they are up for the flirt. That will lower down my flirty events quite a notch, but I will live. There is no point in having fun at the expense of others.
See? That wasn't so hard. Just kidding. It is totally worth it though. Human needs to be, and to feel, humanized. Men, can you do this? Women, can you do this? Everyone, let's do this. Trust me, it is so worth it.
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