Applesauce and Cranberry Bread

My phone rang while I was on the bus home. It was my best friend. I frantically picked it up. He never called me at this hour, what on earth has happened?

"Hello?" I said in a panic voice.

"Hey," he said, "somebody wants to say something to you."

Next I heard was the sound of two kids on the speaker, one voice on top of the other, "Thank you, Ary," "Thank you for the applesauce,"

I started to giggle and then laughed with joy. The two kids giggled hearing me laughing so freely. They liked the applesauce I made and I got an affirmative "Yes" when I offered to make some more. Life can't be better.

The last two days I have been out of it. The world seemed to be a hostile place to live, with hatred and blindness all around. I spent two days in limbo trying to write my feelings and thoughts, but nothing came out.

A lot of things came out, actually. None that I see fit to published. None that I see can change the situation I'm living in. Human sucks. No matter how hard I try to sway them, human will always be a piece of sh*t.

And then they called. Suddenly life was not that bad anymore. Their honest gratitude for a very simple thing I make, the sheer happiness of my friend looking at how happy his kids are, make me suddenly feel whole again.

Isn't it a wonder how simple act of gratitude could turn your world inside out? How a simple thought of "Maybe they'll like this" can transpire into an intricate mandala where everything is beautifully connected?

Earlier this morning I got praises for my Cranberry Bread as well. Both my friend and my coworkers love it. Even the calorie-counting one ended up eating a whole portion and not just a bite.

The thing is, I wasn't looking for praises. Which makes the compliment feels even more amazing. I have cranberries and oranges and apples I need to use, so I made things that I think people would like. That's it.

The world is bad enough these days, and I strive to bring comfort and smile to people around me. It wont magically change the world, but at least it can give the briefest solace in the midst of storm.

Turns out I was saved too. Turns out if you give a little light to people around you it reverberates and light up the whole area, including yourself. And you never realize how much you need that light until you are basked in it.

"I want to teach them to be grateful for what people do for them,"

"But it wasn't much," I said.

"We still appreciate you."

"I hope they know how much I appreciate the phone call,"

"They do. They laugh when they hear you laughing."

On and on the line went on, and in front of me I no longer see the desolate waste land that I so dreaded. Instead, a ginormous colorful mandala crochet was upon my eyes. Each part knitted with different thread, representing different kindness and different love.

If this is not what life is all about, I don't know what else. If this is not a sliver of true happiness God had promised, I don't know what else. If this is not what hope is, I don't know what else.

I know one thing, though. I know tonight I will sleep peacefully. The darkness is gone for now. I am safe. Thank you all for the light you share.