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Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Hello World

Hello world,
Haven't seen you in a while. I know, I know. Stupid remarks. You are there. Always. It's a question on whether or not I notice you. I haven't. Not since the last several weeks.
I've seen you around (pun intended), and kinda know what's happening with you. Yet what happened in my world, in my own little mind, was proved to be more distracting than you. My book is officially published. Yay! I met a good friend for the first time ever. I discover LA is even more interesting than what I have known. I learn to say no. I learn to be selfish. I learn to not trust people, ever. I smile and love more. I have been happy. Much too happy.
Yet around me, within the big old world, chaos ensued. Monsoon in Southeast Asia that killed thousands. Flood in Texas that hurt so many people. Lies. Treachery. Distrust. Greed. Evil. Like the blood that seeps into the white gown, there is no way to get it off. I saw it spread like black oil in the water, slowly but sure making its way across the water with nothing to stop it. Doesn't mean that nobody tries, a lot of people are knee deep in the water, the black pollution dripping all the way from their elbows and dripping from their hairs, as they tried hard to stop it. But it still goes on. Pandora opened the box and we are f*cked.
But that was not why I turned my gaze off you. At least not consciously. You are still beautiful than ever, world. You are still mine, and I am still yours. Sometimes we need a break from reality. Sometimes we need to turn blind eye to find our happiness, and consequently, find a reason to hope. Yet oftentimes, the break went on a little longer than we said it will take. Say, like forever or so. And there you are, ravaged by everything that happened, and here we are, hiding in our perfect little world inside our head.
I know you think it's ok. I know you'd say "I'll be fine". And I know you will. I know you know I am scared, that I feel like I can't take it anymore. The sadness, the pain, the misery, I know you know I wanted it to end. But I am a part of you too, am I not? Let me shoulder what I can take. Let me say my prayers and whisper my faith. Let me be the little candlelight that shines us through these dark days, one in many. Let me offer what I can give: smile and happiness. It's not much, but what I can give, I shall give.
And when the last song is sung, when the last dance is danced, when you stop existing, be it good or bad, I will still be here. Whether it takes thousands of millennia or a quick few hours, I will still be here. I might dance happily and laugh gaily, but I will not look away from the sorrow in you, and I will still be here. Your pain is etched in my body, yet my smile I will give for free. For you are mine, and I am yours.
Hello world, I miss you.

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