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Saturday, July 21, 2012

The Nows

What is Forever?
According to a lovely blogger, Forever are a bunch of nows. Or from the exact words of Emily Dickinson: Forever is composed of nows. How true it is.

For two people like me and my boyfriend who are affectionate to the point of insanity, going through a long distance relationship is not an easy feat. Let alone one with so many challenges, from distance to government's bureaucracy. There were times when I can feel his frustration with how far we are from each other and how badly he wants me by his side; as well as times when I silently cry for not able to be with him and is helpless to ease his burden. And the thought sometimes came, what is it really for? What's the effort is for? And the whole long-distance relationship itself? We're both jaded enough, cynical enough to not really believe in Happily Ever After. Sh*t happens, and there's a chance we wont be what we say we will. We both realize that. Then what is it for?

It is for the nows. 

It is for the rush of pride I feel when receiving his photo in my text message
It is for the warmth he felt when viewing my photos in his text message
It is for the laughter we share, the joke we tell
It is for the new silly dates we planned and commend from different part of the globe
It is for the feeling of being accepted, being taken care of, being loved
It is for knowing that come what may, our phone will rang and we both have each other still
It is for the pleasure of knowing we are deeply appreciated by each other, and held in highest respect
It is for the small love smileys that warm my heart
It is for the random facts that I happen to know which he finds so interesting
It is about sharing our lives in a remote way, yet still so close with each other
It is about sending a "Good morning Love!", and receive a "Good morning baby :)" shortly even with 15 hours time difference
It is for being with each other, having each other
It is for the nows: the laughter and tears, the hope and desperation, all that happens, all that we share and experience

We're living our nows with Facebook, with text messages and phone calls, with e-mails and snail mails. And yes, I am very much looking forward to the day where I can feel him and we can hold each other close. But I know we cherish what we have now still. These are our nows. This is our Forever.

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