Field of Dreams

And here I am walking you to the field of dreams

One by one in a singular line

Your little feet make barely any noise

Above the rustling of your white gowns

Some of you looked at me with concerns

Some with confusion

Some held on to my dress tightly

Some need to be carried

Yet some are full of laughter

Some are looking forward to the warm light

"Will it be better?" One of you asks

"Will we see our mom and dad? Our puppies and cats and our goldfish?"

Some burst into tears because they know what is the place 

And what it meant to be there

Someone asked me once, "If God was real why bone cancer in children?"

I don't know the answer to that question

Nor why they are there with me in the field of dreams

I do know I stay there until they are calm

Promising to deliver notes and love and kisses to the one they left behind

Holding each one until I feel they are ready

Watching them as they roam and explore the field of dreams

Only then do I turned around

My tears falling and filling the river Styx

My grief and anguish crumbles and humbles me

They are safe now, but not others

Those who suffer and life in fear

Those who forever maimed with trauma

Those who are forgotten and set aside

Those who are victims because we fail them then and we fail them still.

My work is not done.

~ in the memory of Robb Elementary. Rest in peace, little ones. ~