To The Anti-Vaccine Supporters: Stop being unfair

I have been wanting to write about the anti-vaccine supporters ever since I read about the measles outbreak in Disneyland, but it wasn't until I read this article that I decided to bite the bullet and do it. The reason: a comment that says: "So I have to poison my kids in order to save your kids?". Oh b(r)other.

FYI, US (because that is where the Disney measles outbreak is located) is not special in rejecting vaccines. Indonesia, roughly 9000 miles away from US, also has its own anti-vaccine supporters. These people claimed that vaccines are useless, and (according to some extremists) it is created by the Jews (gasps!) in order to sickened the good people while collecting the wealth for themselves. I know, I know, it sounds outrageous right? Well, so does any of US' anti-vaccines propaganda in my ears, including those that claimed it is poison. I mean, really? All drugs, even NyQuill is basically poison. C'mon people.

I was among the lucky ones in Indonesia: I lived in a better part of Indonesia, my dad made enough money for us to live humble but well, and my mom was knowledgeable. I got all my vaccines, and so did all my other sibling. However there are parts of Indonesia where these vaccines are hard to come by or, to some, not affordable. These parts usually also have poor health service, thus the exposure to the disease could create serious health issue, or even death. From my point of view, it is hard to understand why people would reject something that is potentially beneficial to them and their children, especially when other people in different part of the world would be all too grateful for the same opportunity.

Another part that irked me is that I have to re-do all my vaccines in order to get visa to US. Because the vaccines had to be administered in a US-government approved clinics (which inconveniently located in Jakarta, while I live in the island of Bali about 745 miles away), I ended up having to take 6 shots in one go. Even when I am already in US I still have to take mandatory flu shot in order to apply for my green card. I would guess the mandatory vaccines were in order to protect US citizens from the possible disease that I potentially carry, since the vaccines would effectively turned me into a harmless carrier; but if it's so, what's the point if Americans are not keen on protecting themselves?

The first winter that I experienced in US was harsh (according to my standard). It was cold and dreary and my body was still adjusting with the different climate and diet. Yet even though I was mentally and physically so ready for a bad case of flu, it was my healthy husband that ended up sick. Not once, but twice, and both were horrible. The mandatory flu shot that I took in order to file my green card apparently work. We had another flu shot this year and we have not had any serious sickness, except for a common cold now and then. It might just be our luck and there is nothing to do with the flu shot we take, but considering I come from a country with great warm and humid climate to live in it is a surprise that I did not get sick in the cold winter time.

Sometimes I think the westerner or the so-called civilized people were a bit misguided. Chipotle discontinue their pork menu because their pork supplier failed to comply to their animal-welfare standards, including the one that says the pigs are raised with access to the outdoors, rather than in cramped pens. This is funny to me because here in LA and also in SF there are apartments that are only 200-250 square feet, and yes, that is hardly enough for one person let alone a couple. It is not what I described as happy living condition. The animal must not be harmed in the making of our meal, yet people who lived in the worse part of US are judged to be there because "they are lazy". Humans of New York is on full throttle in a campaign about a school in Brooklyn, trying to give these kids something to dream about, that our lives worthwhile. Why do cattle and pets deserved more attention and a better life than this children? If the answer is that as a human we can choose and try to do things and animals can't, allow me to remind you that this children, just like the cows and the pigs and the dogs and the cats, have no choice to be born in their family and in their living condition. And now, the "screw you I don't want to poison my kids with vaccines" which could potentially infect other people's precious children that can't have vaccines or have weak immune system due to illness or poor diet.

You have the right to believe in something, and others have the same right too. You have the right to not vaccinate your kids, other people have the right to berate you because they are worried about their own kids. What neither of us human has is the right to hurt others. So yes, if your choice to not vaccinate your kids could harm someone else, then it is high time to step on the high horse and be responsible for others.

Charlie Hebdo dan Muslim Indonesia: Buka Mata, Buka Suara!

Saya baru pulang dari kencan bersama si Akang tercinta, kita habis menonton konser LA Philharmonic Orchestra. Kebetulan konser yang dibawakan adalah karya Beethoven, Missa Solemnis. Pasti anda berpikir kalau konser ini religius, musik Misa gitu lho. Kereligiusan yang saya lihat hanyalah dua Suster yang kebetulan duduk disamping kami, mereka pun bukan orang Amerika melainkan orang Korea. Saya tidak yakin para pemusik dan penyanyinya dari kalangan religius, karena mereka membawakan nomor lain juga dan kebetulan saja kali ini yang dibawakan nomor religius. Penontonnya jelas bukan kalangan religius, contoh nyata: suami saya jelas-jelas Ateis dan tidak percaya agama. Yang membawakan konser ada disitu untuk alasan pekerjaan, yang mendengarkan konser ada disitu untuk menikmati musik. Mungkin lain cerita kalau musik ini dibawakan saat misa yang sebenarnya di gereja, tapi malam ini di Walt Disney Concert Hall musik ini semata untuk menghibur dan tidak ada nilai religiusnya sama sekali. Setidaknya bagi saya.

Hal ini sama dengan kasus penyerangan kantor majalah Charlie Hebdo di Perancis. Yang menyerang mengaku Islam, tapi baik saya maupun anda para pembaca budiman tahu bahwa mereka tidak merepresentasikan Islam yang sebenarnya. Agama Islam dijadikan alasan untuk melakukan tindak kekerasan, yang kalau saya lihat dari kelakuan teman-teman saya yang Islam dan cihui-cihui sebenarnya merupakan tindakan yang amat sangat tidak Islami. Sayangnya timeline fesbuk saya yang dulu sempat meledak dengan hoax pelarangan jilbab dan pelarangan pemotongan hewan kurban (dan pelarangan pengucapan selamat natal dan kontar pemakaian atribut natal untuk umat Muslim) justru sepi seperti kuburan. Dari semua teman saya hanya beberapa yang mengangkat topik ini dengan tagar #JesuisCharlie, dan mereka semua yang memang terekspos budaya asing, dan hanya satu orang yang berani membuat status menyatakan bahwa itu bukan Islam. Yang lain sibuk mengangkat soal salahnya Charlie Hebdo melecehkan Nabi Muhamad, soal teori konspirasi bahwa para penyerang ini sebenarnya mau mendiskreditkan Islam, bahkan membandingkan antara serangan ke kantor Charlie Hebdo dengan umat Islam yang terbunuh di Palestina. Serius, apa susahnya sih buka mulut dan menyatakan dengan tegas bahwa penyerangan tersebut tidak mencerminkan Islam?

Ada komentar yang menarik dari postingan teman saya tentang penyerangan ini: "Kita yang mayoritas tidak tahu apa rasanya jadi minoritas". Referensinya adalah terhadap para umat Muslim yang kebetulan minoritas di negara lain. Umat Islam Indonesia yang mayoritas bisa tenang-tenang saja posting status negatif yang memperkeruh suasana, sementara yang minoritas di negara barat ketar-ketir karena jadi sasaran. Jangan salah, Islamophobia itu bukan karena Islam adalah ajaran yang buruk atau mengerikan, dan jelas bukan monopoli umat Kristen saja. Islamophobia terbentuk berkat media yang hobi menjual berita buruk karena laris (termasuk media di Indonesia) dan ketidaktahuan akan Islam yang sebenarnya, Yang tidak beragama pun jadi terbawa mengecap Islam sebagai sesuatu yang buruk. Apalagi kalau yang kebetulan Islam itu adalah pendatang, lengkap sudah penderitaan. Anda boleh bilang itu karena para Zionis ingin menghancurkan Islam (kok Hinduis tidak dituduh seperti itu huhuhu), tapi fakta yang sebenarnya adalah manusia pada dasarnya takut dan sulit menerima hal baru. Wajar kalau orang yang tidak tahu takut pada Islam, sama halnya dengan orang yang tidak pernah lihat pesawat parno saat disuruh naik pesawat; wajar kalau orang lokal benci para pendatang, sama seperti saat ada anak baru di kantor/sekolah anda yang anda anggap membahayakan posisi anda. Jangan tersinggung, ini fakta manusia.

Teman saya yang konservatif ngomel-ngomel di fesbuk soal dia terus ditanya: mana buktinya Islam cinta damai? Ada juga yang komen bilang jalankan Sunah dan Sabda Rasul serta taat Quran untuk membuktikan hebatnya Islam. Buat saya ini semua tidak cukup. Terkadang kita perlu buka mulut dan menyatakan sikap. Saya merasa beruntung, saya dikelilingi teman-teman beragama Islam yang baik-baik dan sangat menyenangkan. Buat saya Islam identik dengan teman-teman yang rajin shalat Dhuha, teman-teman yang kuat puasa tanpa harus menyentak saya "Jangan makan depan gue, gue puasa!", teman-teman yang selalu ada buat saya walaupun saya bukan Islam, teman-teman yang menerima saya apa adanya walaupun saya agak bengal dan kadang berangasan. FPI bukan Islam yang saya tahu, ISIS bukan Islam yang saya tahu, Al Qaeda dan Boko Haram bukan Islam yang saya tahu, Bali Bomber bukan Islam yang saya tahu. Tapi untuk orang-orang yang tidak memiliki kesempatan, maaf, menurut saya kehormatan untuk berakrab ria dengan orang-orang yang mencerminkan Islam yang sebenarnya, itulah Islam yang mereka ketahui. 

Indonesia memiliki jumlah penduduk Muslim terbanyak di dunia. Catat, di dunia! Kalau umat Islam di Indonesia bersatu dan bersuara, dunia pasti mendengarkan. Bila ada yang mampu 'membetulkan' persepsi dunia tentang Islam, itu pastilah umat Muslim Indonesia. Kegigihan orang Indonesia serta potensi sumber daya manusia Indonesia yang berlimpah menjadikan orang Indonesia bibit unggul di kancah dunia. Bila ada yang mampu melambungkan nama Islam, mengubah Islam dari cap agama teroris menjadi agama yang membawa kebaikan bagi dunia, itu pasti orang Indonesia. Dan sebagai 'raksasa', umat Islam di Indonesia memiliki kemampuan, bukan, kewajiban untuk melindungi umat Islam lainnya terutama di negara dimana mereka minoritas. Caranya ya itu tadi: terus kabarkan bahwa Islam menentang kekerasan, bahwa segala tindakan kekerasan yang dilakukan atas nama Islam sama sekali tidak mencerminkan Islam yang sebenarnya.

Jangankan anda yang umat Islam, saya yang bukan Islam atau Kristen saja sakit hati melihat kartunnya Charlie Hebdo tersebut. Membaca komentar di media massa yang bilang umat Islam itu bangsa onta juga bikin saya sakit hati. Islam itu baik, Islam itu damai, Islam itu - sama halnya dengan agama dan kepercayaan lain - tidak pantas dijadikan bahan olok-olokan. Tapi dengan mencoba melogiskan alasan tindakan para penyerang ini (karena Nabi Muhammad bahkan seharusnya tidak digambar), atau sibuk dengan teori konspirasi, atau malah membandingkan dengan perang di Palestina, anda mengirimkan sinyal yang jelas terhadap dunia: anda mengamini tindakan kekerasan yang dilakukan atas nama agama anda. Jangan berharap anda bisa membuat dunia mengerti tentang kebaikan Islam bila anda sibuk mengurusi hoax-hoax tidak penting di negara anda yang aman dan damai tapi menolak bersuara saat dunia seharusnya bisa mendengar anda. Jangan berkoar anda mendukung Palestina tapi menolak menyelamatkan umat Islam lain yang minoritas di negeri lain karena anda kekeh Islam tidak pernah salah. Islam memang tidak pernah salah, begitu pula dengan agama dan kepercayaan lain. Yang salah biasanya manusianya. Tagar #Illridewithyou dibuat oleh umat non-muslim yang mencoba menolong wanita muslim. Apakah anda tidak malu bahwa sumbangsih anda saat umat Islam di negara lain terancam disakiti sebagai pembalasan hanya teori konspirasi dan pembenaran terselubung akan tindakan para penyerang tersebut? Disaat kita bisa membuat #shameonyousby mendunia, disaat kita bisa membuat Jokowi naik daun dan jadi cover majalah Time, kita memilih diam seribu bahasa disaat suara kita bisa membantu umat Muslim lainnya yang sedang kesulitan. Kalau sekian banyak orang Indonesia yang punya fesbuk dan twitter membuat tagar #thisisnotIslam misalnya, saya yakin itu akan mendunia juga.

Ada istilah di dalam bahasa Inggris: Two wrong doesn't make a right. Majalah Charlie Hebdo bersalah dengan free speech mereka yang kebablasan, tapi tindakan para penyerang tesebut juga tidak bisa dibenarkan. Perdebatan antara siapa yang salah duluan ibaratnya seperti memperdebatkan mana yang lebih dulu, ayam atau telur; dan berdebatnya saat kandang ayam tersebut sedang kebakaran. Jelas tidak relevan dan sangat salah prioritasnya gitu lho. Umat Muslim minoritas di negara lain saat ini membutuhkan dukungan anda, membutuhkan suara anda untuk berkata dengan lantang: Islam tidak identik dengan kekerasan. Dunia perlu tahu bahwa para pelaku kekerasan hanyalah oknum dan bukan pelaku ajaran Islam yang sebenarnya, agar dunia bisa lebih ramah terhadap umat Islam secara keseluruhan. Bisakah, atau lebih tepatnya, maukah anda melaksanakan hal ini? Maukah anda menyiarkan dengan lantang bahwa Islam bukan agama kekerasan? Pilihan anda menentukan pandangan dunia terhadap Islam.

Charlie Hebdo Tragedy and The Danger of Free Speech

My friend and I had a big discussion last night about this case, where a cruise ship worker was convicted for attack and attempted rape of a woman passenger in the ship. She told me that the worker was aggravated, that the woman yelled obscenity at him and he snapped because he was already on the edge due to heavy workload. I actually felt sorry for him, and when my friend explained that he did not receive proper help to defend his case I instantly think this was one of the case where big companies treat their worker as disposable material. I told my friend such, and I cussed the media and the woman's lawyer that manage to turned his snappishness into attack and attempted rape. Surprisingly, my friend said: "Oh no, he totally tried to rape her." Wtf??

This case, if anything, showed clearly how people from different part of the world think, well, differently about things. My friend, who is an Indonesian, clearly think that the worker has all the right to avenge himself after he was humiliated and hurt by the woman's word, especially since he himself was under severe pressure. As an Indonesian, I understand her point of view all too clearly. Honor is something that Indonesian take very seriously, and the lack of law means that it is not uncommon to take the matter in your own hand. However, being exposed to the westerner's way of thinking from the news/literature I read and living in US for a couple of years, I also understand that words are just words. Freedom of speech means you can cuss people with minimal, if any, repercussions; and if somebody physically attack you because of your speech, well they will be the one who is in the wrong. Is one point of view better than the others? Absolutely not, and debating the virtue of these two point of view is completely moot. Some people likes red apple and others prefer green apple, and that's all there is to it. But you need to know that not everyone likes red apple, nor does everyone like green apple. Some people don't even like apple at all.

A lot of people perceive the inability to think outside the box, to properly realize that others may view things differently, as being ignorant. In a way it is true. It takes a lot of courage from someone to open their mind and accept that other may have different point of view, that things doesn't always go according to what they think it will go down. Then again, it is also untrue. Our little planet, minuscule compared to the vast planet Jupiter which was minuscule compared to our sun which was a dwarf star among the other normal or even bigger stars, have so many going-ons that our little brain in our little head can only comprehend an extremely tiny fraction of it, despite the fact that our brain is much faster than the fastest computer ever created by man. In a nutshell, we don't know jacksh*t about our world. I am an information junkie and I did not know that some African countries (other than South Africa) actually have big cities with tall buildings and such until I saw a picture taken by Humans of New York. I did not realize how small and filthy Los Angeles is and how badly the homelessness problem is until I moved in (I still love it though, but I am still thoroughly unimpressed with the Hollywood strip). I could read and read and read, I could contact and talk and communicate with as many people as I want, yet there will always be a part that I don't know about. It stands true even with your closest friend or spouse, there is no way of knowing his/her entire experience in life and/or his/her outlook; you'll know only a tiny fraction of him/her, and sometimes it is the best that you can get.

As someone who is raised to respect God, it pained me to see some of Charlie Hebdo's cartoon. I am not Muslim or Christian, but I still find it difficult to see Mohammed and Jesus being portrayed as vulgarly as in some of their cartoons. To them, it's a symbol of free speech. To others, it is a legitimization, even an invitation, to hurt the cartoonists. Just like the case of the cruise ship worker above, it's a matter of two different point of view. It is in no way punishable by death, and the act of the gunmen (if they are indeed Muslim) hurt their fellow Muslim instead in France and other Muslim-minority countries which now has to cower in fear of retaliation. The attack and killing at Charlie Hebdo was a dumb and unnecessary act of violence, yet maybe it's time for everyone to mull over the freedom of free speech, or as Ian Malcolm in Jurassic Park put it: "Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could that they didn't stop to think if they should".

Let's face it, freedom is an illusion. Not even when you are stranded all by yourself in a godforsaken island or trapped in the remotest part of the jungle that you are completely free, and especially not if you live around other human. By yourself, you are bind to your basic need: food, water, clothing, and shelter; basically protection for the outside and nutrition for the inside. When you live among human, you inadvertently add human connection to the four basic needs, either to get the four basic needs or to fulfill the fifth basic need: fulfillment of the soul. Yet unlike the other basic needs that could easily be attained just by being resourceful, the human connection requires a great deal of patience and understanding. It is something that you can't achieve by being brawny, and sometimes not even if you are brainy. Human connection is an art, an orchestrated effort that requires you to give a little of yourself in order to receive a little of someone else's. 

One of the main arguments that I had with my husband over the free speech was him saying "Why can't I say it? Why can't I say what I want and be done with it? Why do I have to worry about other people's feeling?". That, to my opinion, encompassed the main thought, the main drive, behind free speech. By all means, free speech is everyone's right, even in countries that don't support free speech like Indonesia. As a human being, we have all the right to express our opinion; but we have to remember that we are not special in this matter, that other people have the right to express their opinion too, which all too often is a reaction towards our opinion. We are free to express our opinion, but there is no way we are free from the consequences that follows, good or bad. You can cuss your boss if you like, but you can't blame him/her from giving you the boot. You can speak bluntly what a terrible wife your brother has, but don't blame them for giving you the cold shoulder. You can express your opinion on how ridiculous an issue is (e.g. race or religion), but don't be surprised if you receive backlash from people who got offended. 

The biggest misconception with free speech is the thought that "I know I won't be offended if he/she ridicule my [e.g religion], so why should he/she offended about my remarks about his/her [e.g religion]?". For one thing, I usually find that people who don't get offended are usually the ones who don't prance around offending people. Another thing is, just as people have different point of views they also have different priority in life. A person who likes to make Yo Mama jokes probably won't care if you insult his/her mom in retaliation, but he/she might be offended if you insult his/her choice of clothing instead. If you want to insult someone's belief or something that is important to them, it is always a good idea to think how would you feel if someone insult something that is important to you. This requires a great deal of honesty and courage from yourself, and a full awareness that you will pay the price. As the Miranda Law stated: Anything you say can and will be use against you.

So yes, you are willing to pay the price. Yes, you insist on practice your right of free speech. Then please proceed, but remember that yes, you are being very unreasonable. Let's imagine the perimeter of your right is a big as a coin, and the world is as big as five coins being put together in one row. This means the world could only accommodate five people whose rights are within their own boundaries and not inter-lapping and bothering each other. But imagine if there are people who is more than willing to accommodate your right and you are willing to accommodate their rights too, imagine these people as an extra coin between you and the coin next to you, the world has suddenly add additional four more people. Since there is no way to eliminate as many people you needed to ensure your right is perfectly intact without needing to submit to their right (and mind you, there are other people that might feel the same way about you, that you are the one needed to be eliminated to ensure their rights), the only option is to work with them. This does not require you to believe and agreeing in everything that other people think, this only requires you to be thoughtful of what you said and do. 

Is it worth it though? I always believe that a smile and warm acceptance gives me better feeling than the satisfaction that I am right and I showed the world that I am right. And yes, dinner parties are always more fun than dining alone by yourself because others think you are so un-agreeable. Even if you think you can live by yourself, doesn't cute puppies or fluffy kittens or joyous smile moved you more than gnarly looking dog or scabies-infected cats or ugly frowns? Working in sales for about 5 years I can attest that a complaint note would have a better response if it's written objectively and not laden with tirades and name calling. You can catch more fly with honey, and this is indeed the truth of life. If you think that by not expressing your opinion you have committed a lie/being untruthful towards yourself, it doesn't have to be that way. You can say what you want to say, but if you want to get the optimum result it is best to put it in a way that does not offend other people, and if you have to offend you better make a clear case of it so people know you do not hurt them for nothing. Use persuasion, not raw force. Of course, if you are a troll and is indeed looking for trouble you might as well starts the fight. 

I saw the picture of the bloody Charlie Hebdo's office, and I can't imagine the horror and terror that happened that day. I remembered some of their cartoons, and I can still feel the pang of pain and anger towards the dishonor they did with what I think as honorable figures. It is time the thoughtless actions to stop, both the violence in real life and in the speech we make. It is time for us to extend ourselves as a human and asked ourselves before we do or say anything: "Do I really have to do that? What is the benefit of me doing that? Will it hurt other people?". Other people might still be ignorant and choose to blindly force their way and belief, totally unaware of the consequences that might happen both to themselves and to other. But you are not other people. You can't make other people to be nice and understanding, but you can change yourself and be one. This is your choice. Frankly speaking, even with all the extremists and terrorists abound I believe the world could be a much peaceful place if we learn to be nice to one another. Now, what is your choice?