"I want a girl with a mind like a diamond
I want a girl who knows whats best
I want a girl with shoes that cut
And eyes that burn like cigarettes
I want a girl with the right allocation
Who’s fast, and thorough, and sharp as a tack
She’s playing with her jewelry, she’s putting up her hair
She’s touring the facility and picking up slack
I want a girl with a short skirt,
And a loooooooooooong jacket"
Truth to tell, I made this note purely out of annoyance :). An acquaintance of mine looks down and dirty at me after I gave her a nice piece of advice regarding her beloved hubby, and I find it rather annoying. Of course, it is never a good idea to say to a frustrated wife that a nice attractive girl can easily snatched her hubby away and we’ll gladly show her how :p. But the poor guy was bullied all the way, what else left for us, nice girls, to do?? Yup, the mischievous me wins…
I know it is not mine to interfere, especially since some guys DO enjoy being bullied. Yet I couldn’t stop the horror in my heart, because I think men are worth to be respected (perhaps some don’t but I’m writing for the best part of them. If you’re not included in the best part, kindly skip my writing :p). That aside, her dirty look upon me when I gave my “kind” advice is indeed annoying. What’s wrong being a nice and attractive girl?
I totally disapprove snatching other people partner. That is so barbaric and beside, there are many fish in the ocean, they say. Why dirty yourself with such low act? Nevertheless, I also disapprove on my acquaintance act. Call me an anti-feminist, but I truly believe in the old virtues. Spoiled him and he’ll spoiled you, be kind with him and he’ll be kind with you. Of course, you might want to train him to do those things or (if he refuses to do so) simply get another guy. Let’s just say he’s not included in the best part of the group. Guys should take good care of girls, whether it’s financially, physically, or in any aspect related, and girls should take good care of guys and respect them likewise. We are equal indeed.
If you think I’m boring, I do believe girls can have fun as well, which makes me even more disapprove with my acquaintance dirty look. Why can’t girls be attractive? Girls, in every aspect, should be attractive. I’m not talking about wearing short skirt and tank tops everywhere; I’m talking about walking with pride and feel good about you. It’s not always about the cleavage, but it’s always about being nice and looking mightily comfortable with yourself. I believe a nice girl can get a better man (and with many different choices, too) compared with the “back-off-you-despicable-thing" type of girls.
So, if we’re wandering around with our high heels and backless shirts, please don’t get us wrong. We’re simply enjoying ourselves. If we made guys heads turn, please don't get us wrong. We're simply being ourselves. If you disrespect your guy yet he respects us, please don’t get us wrong. It’s not our fault our good trait makes him feels good (but you really must learn from us!). If you see us on the street, being nice, attractive and confident as we always do, come and join us. Because we do what good girls should do: respect and be kind to others, feel extremely good and give only the best for themselves, and of course, believe in yourself!
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Para ko-as, kindly read....
‘May I never see in the patient anything but a fellow creature in pain. May I never consider him merely a vessel of the disease’ by Maimonides (1135–1204)
Setelah sekian lama “mengundurkan” diri dari rimba FK, saya iseng mengecek blog PSPD, dan salah satu komentar disana sungguh menyengat saya:
Quote by Anonym ” Mengenai sampe ada angkatan 1999 yang masih ada, menurut saya itu karena kesalahan mereka sendiri, ngapain mereka bersantai santai ria dan berharap kebaikan akan diluluskan, ya jelas saja akan menambah beban stag. Kalo ga pantas lulus kenapa harus dipaksakan...?”
Thanks hotshot, it is so nice to be “appreciated” by a fellow colleague.
Mungkin si anonym yang berkomentar ini ga pernah ditendang keluar dan menghadapi kerasnya hidup ya…. Life is not that easy, it never was and it never will. Emang, senior ada yang kelihatan ‘santai-santai’ aja, tapi ga ada yang ‘berharap kebaikan akan diluluskan’. Semua usaha, semua berjuang. Saya pun salah satu diantaranya. Buat yang pernah lihat saya, pasti pikir saya salah satu yg ‘bersantai’. Ada yang tahu ga saya harus lgs kabur sesudah kuliah (bahkan saat) biar saya ga telat kerja? Ada yang lihat ga saya berurai airmata but still keep my head up high karena dibentak ma dosen yang ga percaya saya harus kerja? Yeah, I depend on me, and I’m proud of it. Begitu pula rekan-rekan saya yang terlambat karena punya anak, atau yang memang sudah berusaha tapi kondisi belum memungkinkan. Semua niat, semua usaha.
Apa komentarnya? “Ngapain mereka nikah and punya anak?”, “ klo emang otaknya ga sanggup masuk FK keluar aja,” “Udahan aja kalau ga sanggup bayar FK”. Saya pengen banget jadi dokter, tapi ga berarti saya harus sampe jual diri utk bayar kuliah. Temen saya pengen banget jadi dokter, tapi menurut dia saatnya dia menjadi seorang ibu. Ada hal-hal yang menurut kami lebih penting, tapi kami masih berusaha menjalaninya sekaligus meraih gelar dokter kami. Belum lagi kebuntuan yang rasanya menghimpit, tekanan dari lingkungan keluarga dan kampus, itu yang para senior rasakan. Kami berjuang menghadapi itu semua, dan akan terus berjuang sampai kami meraih gelar kami. Kalau bisa kami pun pengen selesai cepat, ngapain lama2 dikampus?
Sadly, waktu awal-awal saya masuk FK saya pun salah satu yang beranggapan seperti di atas. Saya rasa semua anak baru, hijau, junior etc (dan yang naïf, ga pernah berdiri dengan kaki sendiri) pasti berpikir seperti itu. I personally don’t think it’s our real nature, it’s merely how FK brainwashed us to think that way. Calon dokter yang baik adalah yang pintar, yang lulus tepat waktu, yang ga neko-neko. Diluar itu? Ke laut aja….
Saya ingat saya dianggap aneh karena sibuk bertandang ke kampus A, padahal justru para anak2 ekonomi (beserta as-dos akutansi) yang membantu saya memahami pelajaran statistic dan membuat saya mampu mendapatkan nilai B, tanpa belajar sedikitpun. FK mengajari saya healing the body of a human, tapi tidak mengajari saya healing the soul. Bila FK sanggup mengajarkan betapa berharganya jiwa manusia, saya ataupun anak FK lainnya tidak akan berpikir segitu buruknya terhadap sesama.
Lupa ya prinsipnya palliative care?
1. To cure sometimes
2. To relieve often
3. To comfort always
Ini juga applicable banget sama manusia. Terkadang si sakit akan lebih cepat sembuh bukan karena obat yang begitu tepat sasaran (there’s no such thing anyway, human body are to random!), tapi karena dokternya care terhadap mereka. Bukan sekedar si sakit, tapi seorang manusia yang punya nama, punya jiwa, punya harga diri. Jadi kenapa kita masih ga care ma sesama dan end-up bitching and badmouthing others? You wanna be a doctor, so are we!
Untuk anonym, life is hard and unfair dude, but we’re still tryin’. If you still think you’re super, I wanna see you walk in our shoes. And when you do, I’m gonna laugh my a$$ off cause I bet you ain’t gonna make it.
Setelah sekian lama “mengundurkan” diri dari rimba FK, saya iseng mengecek blog PSPD, dan salah satu komentar disana sungguh menyengat saya:
Quote by Anonym ” Mengenai sampe ada angkatan 1999 yang masih ada, menurut saya itu karena kesalahan mereka sendiri, ngapain mereka bersantai santai ria dan berharap kebaikan akan diluluskan, ya jelas saja akan menambah beban stag. Kalo ga pantas lulus kenapa harus dipaksakan...?”
Thanks hotshot, it is so nice to be “appreciated” by a fellow colleague.
Mungkin si anonym yang berkomentar ini ga pernah ditendang keluar dan menghadapi kerasnya hidup ya…. Life is not that easy, it never was and it never will. Emang, senior ada yang kelihatan ‘santai-santai’ aja, tapi ga ada yang ‘berharap kebaikan akan diluluskan’. Semua usaha, semua berjuang. Saya pun salah satu diantaranya. Buat yang pernah lihat saya, pasti pikir saya salah satu yg ‘bersantai’. Ada yang tahu ga saya harus lgs kabur sesudah kuliah (bahkan saat) biar saya ga telat kerja? Ada yang lihat ga saya berurai airmata but still keep my head up high karena dibentak ma dosen yang ga percaya saya harus kerja? Yeah, I depend on me, and I’m proud of it. Begitu pula rekan-rekan saya yang terlambat karena punya anak, atau yang memang sudah berusaha tapi kondisi belum memungkinkan. Semua niat, semua usaha.
Apa komentarnya? “Ngapain mereka nikah and punya anak?”, “ klo emang otaknya ga sanggup masuk FK keluar aja,” “Udahan aja kalau ga sanggup bayar FK”. Saya pengen banget jadi dokter, tapi ga berarti saya harus sampe jual diri utk bayar kuliah. Temen saya pengen banget jadi dokter, tapi menurut dia saatnya dia menjadi seorang ibu. Ada hal-hal yang menurut kami lebih penting, tapi kami masih berusaha menjalaninya sekaligus meraih gelar dokter kami. Belum lagi kebuntuan yang rasanya menghimpit, tekanan dari lingkungan keluarga dan kampus, itu yang para senior rasakan. Kami berjuang menghadapi itu semua, dan akan terus berjuang sampai kami meraih gelar kami. Kalau bisa kami pun pengen selesai cepat, ngapain lama2 dikampus?
Sadly, waktu awal-awal saya masuk FK saya pun salah satu yang beranggapan seperti di atas. Saya rasa semua anak baru, hijau, junior etc (dan yang naïf, ga pernah berdiri dengan kaki sendiri) pasti berpikir seperti itu. I personally don’t think it’s our real nature, it’s merely how FK brainwashed us to think that way. Calon dokter yang baik adalah yang pintar, yang lulus tepat waktu, yang ga neko-neko. Diluar itu? Ke laut aja….
Saya ingat saya dianggap aneh karena sibuk bertandang ke kampus A, padahal justru para anak2 ekonomi (beserta as-dos akutansi) yang membantu saya memahami pelajaran statistic dan membuat saya mampu mendapatkan nilai B, tanpa belajar sedikitpun. FK mengajari saya healing the body of a human, tapi tidak mengajari saya healing the soul. Bila FK sanggup mengajarkan betapa berharganya jiwa manusia, saya ataupun anak FK lainnya tidak akan berpikir segitu buruknya terhadap sesama.
Lupa ya prinsipnya palliative care?
1. To cure sometimes
2. To relieve often
3. To comfort always
Ini juga applicable banget sama manusia. Terkadang si sakit akan lebih cepat sembuh bukan karena obat yang begitu tepat sasaran (there’s no such thing anyway, human body are to random!), tapi karena dokternya care terhadap mereka. Bukan sekedar si sakit, tapi seorang manusia yang punya nama, punya jiwa, punya harga diri. Jadi kenapa kita masih ga care ma sesama dan end-up bitching and badmouthing others? You wanna be a doctor, so are we!
Untuk anonym, life is hard and unfair dude, but we’re still tryin’. If you still think you’re super, I wanna see you walk in our shoes. And when you do, I’m gonna laugh my a$$ off cause I bet you ain’t gonna make it.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
The Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.
-attributed to the theologian Reinhold Niebuhr-
It is human nature to fight and try their best to get what they want. That is why we human are still considered as the most superior being on Earth. Nevertheless, it is also a human nature to choose something less hazardous and less troublesome (in other word, to flight) for their convenience, and that explains why we are still indeed Earth-bound.
When to fight and when to flight? This is truly an age-old question. Walter Cannon in 1915 states that animals (can also be referred as "human") react to threats with a general discharge of the sympathetic nervous system, priming the animal (again, can also be referred as "human") for fighting or fleeing.
The system has been properly explained, yet the question remains: when to fight and when to flight?
- If someone is doing you injustice,will you defend your self or just ignore it?
- If someone speak ill of you, will you make try to them suffer or just ignore it?
- If someone mistreated your loved ones, will you stand up and fight or just ignore it?
These are only very few of the fight-or-flight situation that we experience everyday. Logical (and aggressive) thinker would definitely do the first one, they'll fight. I mean, the second choice is for door mat, and we are NOT door mat! Or at least that's how I perceive things. But is it the right thing to do?
These situation (and many others like them) have one similar thread, they all correlates with other people. My very best friend and I had been in the situation, and he did exactly the opposite. He simply ignore it. Of course, ignoring is definitely belittling of what he actually did. He ignore the injustice but secretly take me away where they can't hurt me anymore. He ignore the ill-words because he believe I am not like that. He ignore the ill-treatment but again take me away, sheltered me and assure me that i am worthy instead of worthless. And he did all that relatively clean and healthy while I'm still tattered and broken, because you see, I lost the war. The lesson? Human can not be change, unless they want to be changed. And it is completely useless to forcing on changing (read:fight) something that's unchangeable.
It took me years to understand this prayer, and even more to do it (I'm still having difficulties). It is harder to let go and accept that we can not change things (a.k.a flight mode), than to simply bonk my head and try to change things (a.k.a fight mode). But you know what, that's just how the world is. A very dear and wise friend once ask me, do I know why we train ourselves to do martial art. I said to protect ourselves, to fight. He merely smiled and said that actually it is to surrender and accept things. He said we need to be strong, so we can try our best in life regardless the result, because only after we try our best that we can accept things. As I explain, it took far greater strength to humble ourselves and accept things than to fight with brute force.
Problems in life come and go, as sure as the high tide and low tide of the ocean. So many people advise others on what to do for their problems. I, being an ordinary human, am one of the advice givers and also the recipient. But sometimes, no matter how well the advice given or how hard the recipient try to do the advice, the problem will not change, if the people correlates with the problem do not wish to change, or the condition not enabling things to be changed. if that happens, the best thing that you can do is to put your hands together, and pray: God, give me strength to accept this.
Acceptance is never a defeat. Adaptation will come with acceptance, and the problems will matter no more once you adapt to it. Get up to your feet and fight bravely for what you think is necessary, for things that are dear and important for your. And when you know it can not be change, when you realize that you cannot win the war, flight to your camp and accept it with smile on your face. The proud yet humble acceptance makes you the real winner. The age old question answered at last. But it can not be answered without sincerely reciting the last part of the prayer, for God to grant us the Wisdom to know the difference.
For every ailment under the sun
There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it;
If there be none, never mind it.
-The philosopher W.W. Bartley -
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.
-attributed to the theologian Reinhold Niebuhr-
It is human nature to fight and try their best to get what they want. That is why we human are still considered as the most superior being on Earth. Nevertheless, it is also a human nature to choose something less hazardous and less troublesome (in other word, to flight) for their convenience, and that explains why we are still indeed Earth-bound.
When to fight and when to flight? This is truly an age-old question. Walter Cannon in 1915 states that animals (can also be referred as "human") react to threats with a general discharge of the sympathetic nervous system, priming the animal (again, can also be referred as "human") for fighting or fleeing.
The system has been properly explained, yet the question remains: when to fight and when to flight?
- If someone is doing you injustice,will you defend your self or just ignore it?
- If someone speak ill of you, will you make try to them suffer or just ignore it?
- If someone mistreated your loved ones, will you stand up and fight or just ignore it?
These are only very few of the fight-or-flight situation that we experience everyday. Logical (and aggressive) thinker would definitely do the first one, they'll fight. I mean, the second choice is for door mat, and we are NOT door mat! Or at least that's how I perceive things. But is it the right thing to do?
These situation (and many others like them) have one similar thread, they all correlates with other people. My very best friend and I had been in the situation, and he did exactly the opposite. He simply ignore it. Of course, ignoring is definitely belittling of what he actually did. He ignore the injustice but secretly take me away where they can't hurt me anymore. He ignore the ill-words because he believe I am not like that. He ignore the ill-treatment but again take me away, sheltered me and assure me that i am worthy instead of worthless. And he did all that relatively clean and healthy while I'm still tattered and broken, because you see, I lost the war. The lesson? Human can not be change, unless they want to be changed. And it is completely useless to forcing on changing (read:fight) something that's unchangeable.
It took me years to understand this prayer, and even more to do it (I'm still having difficulties). It is harder to let go and accept that we can not change things (a.k.a flight mode), than to simply bonk my head and try to change things (a.k.a fight mode). But you know what, that's just how the world is. A very dear and wise friend once ask me, do I know why we train ourselves to do martial art. I said to protect ourselves, to fight. He merely smiled and said that actually it is to surrender and accept things. He said we need to be strong, so we can try our best in life regardless the result, because only after we try our best that we can accept things. As I explain, it took far greater strength to humble ourselves and accept things than to fight with brute force.
Problems in life come and go, as sure as the high tide and low tide of the ocean. So many people advise others on what to do for their problems. I, being an ordinary human, am one of the advice givers and also the recipient. But sometimes, no matter how well the advice given or how hard the recipient try to do the advice, the problem will not change, if the people correlates with the problem do not wish to change, or the condition not enabling things to be changed. if that happens, the best thing that you can do is to put your hands together, and pray: God, give me strength to accept this.
Acceptance is never a defeat. Adaptation will come with acceptance, and the problems will matter no more once you adapt to it. Get up to your feet and fight bravely for what you think is necessary, for things that are dear and important for your. And when you know it can not be change, when you realize that you cannot win the war, flight to your camp and accept it with smile on your face. The proud yet humble acceptance makes you the real winner. The age old question answered at last. But it can not be answered without sincerely reciting the last part of the prayer, for God to grant us the Wisdom to know the difference.
For every ailment under the sun
There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it;
If there be none, never mind it.
-The philosopher W.W. Bartley -
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