America The Beautiful, Again

I looked at myself in the mirror as I washed my hands: hair tousled and makeup-free, totally unremarkable except for a hint of my neon green bra underneath. (Note: it was technically called tequila-lime colored in the catalog). In the somewhat moderate Jakarta where I grew up, dressing like that could be considered a mortal sin and I would never, ever don such getup. Nevertheless, it'd be (almost) the same offense if I donned it in the so-called sin island of Bali. Both the locals and the foreigners would think I am cheap for blatantly flaunting my bra. Here, nobody even blinks an eye.

After my divorce filing, my friends and family all asked the same question: "Why don't you go home? You'll have us." True. I will have my friends and family. I will have the late night excursion to the beach on my scooter. I will have all the delicious cheap food that I want. I will have the freedom from paying so much tax. I will be free from worrying about scary presidential candidates, and the possible backlash that I would experience as an immigrant. I will be free from the questioning remarks "But honestly, maybe you don't want to admit that you come here because you want to come here?", to which I would exhaustedly explain over and over again that there is such thing as giving all your love to somebody, as absurd as it may sound. I could do that.

Yet if I do, I will lose a lot of things too. I will lose the convenience of tap water, which after my 3+ years living here I still have not taken for granted. I will lose the ease of borrowing e-books and audiobooks online from LA Central library. I will lose the good customer service that I have been so accustomed to, the underlying feeling that as a customer I will get the best service, even as mundane as getting a $5 gift card because they didn't make my $2.50 coffee fast enough. I will lose the safety of paramedics and police officers and fire brigade and other first-responder services. I will lose the comfort and convenience of managing my money easily because the rules are pretty much laid clearly, and your money is protected. I will lose the freedom of being able to be who I really am. [I actually don't mind losing the health service here, but it's a whole different matter]. If I had to choose between going and take the easy (read: more laid-back) life back home and staying here in US with all the racial tension and anger and things that is not so great about US, I'd stay.

Without siding with any candidates, America is, and has always been, great. USA is a nation builds by hope and courage by a bunch of immigrants, a nation protected and upheld by the citizens whose loyalty are undeterred, a nation that continues to grow and become better, become a step ahead. As we embroiled so bitterly in or against the presidential candidates, it is important for us to stop and think: What is, in our mind, USA all about? Is it really defined by the hateful rhetoric? Is it really defined by fear and anguish? Is it really defined by distrust and discomfort? Is USA really that horrible, horrible place to be? Is it really a country so broken that another civil war would be welcomed?

I see the greatness of USA in the pride of my friend the ex-navy officer. I see the greatness of USA in the smile and greeting I receive each day through my 6-hour bus commute to and from work. I see the greatness of USA in the ease of checking my divorce status online, and the prospect of not even having to see the judge to have it finalized. It's everywhere, depends on where (and what you want) to see. The greatness of USA is in the protest of North Dakota pipelines, dubbed as "the largest gathering of indigenous nations in modern American history", or at protesters for college rape cases, or proud supporters of LGBT. The greatness of USA is in, like it or not, the protest staged by Colin Kaepernicks and such. Here we have people who are unafraid to voiced their opinion, and to do what they think is right. Here we have people who truly believe what a great country they live in, for better or for worse. Here we have opportunities and equality. Here we have people who can choose to live their passion, be who they want to be, instead of stuck doing things they don't like because they have no other choice. Isn't that great?

US is not perfect. Nothing is. No matter how often one talks about Finland's great education system, or about Canada's free healthcare, or about Denmark the happiest country on earth, they are not perfect themselves. Instead of looking out and daydream, instead of wishing for the boyfriend/girlfriend that we think we deserve, how about looking into what we have first? USA has its fair share of sleazy politicians and greedy corporate higher-ups, a fair share of police brutality and race/religion prejudice. USA also has a fair share of inequality, poverty, and other inaccessibility of service, either happened because of lack of infrastructure/system or due to plain indifference/ignorance. It's a place where people cling to their addiction, celebrity or fast food or (prescription) drugs or even the latest iPhones. But is it just USA? Or is it the world?

There is nothing wrong in wanting to have a better place to live, a place that can embodied our principles and approve of our thought and mindset. Yet it would be wrong to simply denounce the country and fellow citizens/residents just because it somehow doesn't fit with your ideals. It's the equivalent of talking trash over your loyal wife just because you don't like the way she picked her nose. It is not that simple, I know. Yet if we want to live in a place of harmony and peace, the first thing we should do is be harmonious and peaceful ourselves, and able to see the good. For when we are able to see the good side can only we find solution for the bad things we don't like.

With the election coming near, it is easy to be swayed or even drowned in the divisive rhetoric and inflaming words. It's easy to lose hope or to think "Either win or burn the thing to the ground". Yet in the end, US is not defined by which party or which candidate wins. US is, and has always been, defined by its people. US is great because its people are great, because USA as a nation is a diversified yet solid one, because the core of USA is equality for all. Is that not why the pilgrims were here? Let's look past November 8 and fast forward 2 weeks later, on November 24, the Thanksgiving day. What will you give thanks for this year? Let's be thankful for US and its people. Let's be thankful for the promise of equality and hope and opportunities. Let's be thankful for the rights we have, and the life we live. Let's be thankful, and then let's move forward. For we are what makes America great. For we are what moves America forward. And forever more, let America be the beautiful, again.

Saat Amrik Dan Indonesia Sibuk Memilih

Nggak di Indonesia nggak di Amerika, saat Pilkada/Pilpres begini yang diumbar keburukan calonnya. Kenapa ya pada demen yang negatif-negatif begini? Bangga pula kenegatifannya diumbar dalam bentuk sharing berita miring atau komen-komen nyinyir nggak jelas. Situ bangga gitu kelihatan bodoh dan jelek hati?

Kalau Pilpres disini yang diserang sampai soal Hillary yang nggak tahu Bill Clinton dulu selingkuh, padahal nggak ada urusannya urusan ranjang sama kepresidenan. Juga diungkit soal Hillary yang konon licik rakus bermasalah dengan e-mailnya dan seterusnya. Yang sebenarnya valid lho, jangan salah. Boleh-boleh aja nggak mau memilih Hillary karena mencurigai keprofesionalan dan niatannya. Tapi apa iya calon situ layak maju? Pendukung Trump kebanyakan saya lihat cuma sibuk nyalahin Hillary tapi tutup mata akan brengseknya Trump. Serius loe mau punya presiden yang pegang kode nuklir tapi disentil sedikit langsung kayak anjing rabies? Yang setelah debat kemarin nggak ada hujan nggak ada angin langsung lagi ngata-ngatain orang lain yang ga ada urusannya?

Di Indonesia juga sama, Ahok terus kena serang soal ke-Cina-annya, soal agamanya, soal gayanya yang keras dan marah-marah (Halo Ibu Risma…). Sampai sekarang masih ada beredar di fesbuk soal gimana Ahok akan mengkristenisasi Jakarta, yang padahal sampai sekarang masa jabatan hampir selesai belum ada realisasinya. Kita-kita yang konon orang pintar dan berkelas, yang mengenyam bangku sekolah atau para professional keren, juga nggak ada protes soal puisi Fadli Zon yang Tukang Gusur. Dan para calon-calon itu disitu tertawa dan terlihat mengapresiasi puisi orang ini. Kenapa oh kenapa para calon yang konon berkelas ini terpuruk dalam event tidak berkelas begitu? Dan kenapa kita ok dengan hal itu?

Ada banyak hal yang mendeskripsikan kepemimpinan. Bukan cuma soal gantengnya atau soal siapa bapaknya, kepemimpinan buat saya berkonotasi dengan keadilan dan integritas. Calon pemimpin yang bisanya menyalahkan orang lain nggak akan bisa disalahkan, apalagi mempertanggungjawabkan perbuatannya. Calon pemimpin yang bisa jahat dan sinis terhadap orang-orang yang nggak disukainya ya akan bisa juga jahat dan sinis pada orang-orang yang dipimpin. Pemimpin harus adil, pemimpin harus berintegritas, pemimpin harus bisa dipercaya. Bukan cuma pemilihan gubernur DKI Jakarta atau Presiden Amerika, pemilihan pilkada daerah lain atau bahkan pemilihan calon suami (jyaaah… curahan hati) harus memilih yang adil, berintegritas, dan bisa dipercaya.

Cara pandang kita pun harus dirubah, udah nggak umur kalee para pembaca blog ini yang memilih Asal Bukan Si Itu. Nggak suka sama Ahok? Gpp. Cari calon yang visi dan misinya sesuai dengan anda. Ingin memilih yang Islami, misalnya. Pastikan program-program si calon memang Islami. Setiap hari Jumat libur, misalnya, jadi weekendnya 3 hari [langsung ngepak koper dan balik Indo]. Ingin pemimpin yang santun misalnya, cari calon yang ketahuan dan terbukti bisa melaksanakan tugasnya dan membuat bawahannya tertib tanpa perlu teriak-teriak. Kasian lho kita sekolah tinggi-tinggi tapi social skillnya masih sekelas anak TK yang "Ih dia ga asik, aku ga mau main sama dia" tanpa penjelasan atau pemikiran matang. Sudah saatnya kita dewasa dan mempertanggungjawabkan pilihan kita.

Cara paling aman dan ampuh adalah dengan bertanya pada diri anda sendiri: "Kalau bos/atasan saya di kantor seperti calon A, saya ok atau nggak?". Ini sudah cara paling efektif untuk mengeliminir keraguan dan berpikir secara logis. Misalnya saja si Trump, kalau bos saya bertingkah seperti dia mending saya balik bodi. Kalaupun program-program kerja di perusahaan dia bagus, tetap saja saya nggak yakin suatu saat dia sebagai bos nggak akan menyengsarakan saya, karena dia tampak nggak ada tanggung jawabnya. Pakai cara yang sama dengan para calon-calon kita di Indonesia.  Ibaratnya sekarang anda dapat tawaran kerja dari 3 kantor, pastinya idealnya anda memilih kantor yang paling nyaman untuk bekerja, program kantor jelas dan stabil (kemungkinan dipecat atau perusahaan bangkrut kecil), dan menguntungkan buat anda (benefit, gaji, etc). Mana yang akan anda pilih?

Ini bukan cuma buat Jakarta saja ya. Situ-situ non-KTP Jakarta yang marah-marah kenapa Jakarta terus yang disorot mending udahan stalking pilkada Jakarta dan fokus ke pilkada anda sendiri. Sudahkan anda memilih kepala daerah anda secara bertanggungjawab? Logikanya dengan jumlah anda-anda yang sekian, suara anda menentukan nasib anda. Iya tahu di banyak daerah di Indonesia suara rakyat masih dibungkam, tapi kalau anda-anda nggak kritis dan sekedar memilih pemimpin atau anggota perwakilan dengan alasan "seagama" atau "menarik" atau "saya kenal bapaknya", ya kita bakal masih begini-begini saja. Perubahan sistem pemerintahan Indonesia, sebagaimana dicontohkan di Jakarta, masih bisa terjadi. Tapi harus ada orang-orang yang niat bergerak dan mau merubah situasi yang tidak menguntungkan masyarakat. Nggak bisa lagi kita cuma cuek dan berkata, "gue mah nggak ikut-ikutan…"

Pilihan bisa cuma sekedar pilihan, seperti ulangan nggak belajar yang penting diisi saja. Pilihan juga bisa menentukan siapa diri anda dan menakar tanggung jawab anda terhadap diri sendiri dan sekeliling anda. Pilkada adalah salah satu contoh pilihan yang 'berat'. Pastikan anda memilih dengan bijak dan bertanggung jawab. Pastikan orang-orang yang anda pilih akan mampu membawa anda dan orang-orang sekeliling anda ke arah yang lebih baik 5 tahun kedepan. Ibarat beli HP, jangan beli iPon hanya karena orang bilang Android itu jelek, belilah iPon karena memang anda sudah meriset dan memastikan itu yang terbaik untuk anda. Bisa kan, para pembaca?

America The Beautiful

Sunset at Plains of San Agustin, NM

One Friday morning my husband sleepily said: "Let's go on a road trip." I looked at him confusedly, since we were still in bed and haven't even fully wake up yet. I said to him, "Okay, where and when do you want to go?" He grinned at me and answered: "New Mexico. We will leave in an hour." With that he jumped off the bed, telling me to pack while he browse for hotel and that we will have breakfast en route. And so we did.

Coming from Indonesia, I am always curious and excited about seeing more of USA. After all, it is my current residence country and I will stay here for quite a while. Loving or even accepting that I will spend my life here was not always easy though. For the first nine months I was sort of home bound, I didn't have work permit yet so when my husband off to work I had to stay behind. I would walked to grocery store, took a bus to meet my husband for lunch, joined a writers club, but I made no substantial friend and for those nine months the only US phone numbers in my phone book are my husband's, a friend of his, and a friend of mine in Minneapolis. This was just about as much as I know about US. I rely on internet news outlets to know more of what happened in US, and it wasn't pretty. Violence everywhere, gun maniacs abound, irresponsible parents, careless youngsters, the "me, Me, ME!" attitude, these were all I saw and shaped my image of USA. Even when you read an especially touching and make-you-feel-good news article, all you need to do is scroll down to the comment section to have your faith in humanity broken again. Such was the USA that I know, and I would often cried bitterly inside wishing that I could return and stay in Indonesia instead.

Catalina State Park, AZ

Yet as I stood on The Plain of San Agustin with the bright full moon and the prettiest, clearest night sky above me I couldn't help but saying aloud: "This is America. This is the real America".

What people, both abroad and within USA itself, fail to understand is how big USA is. It is massive, and each part of USA is beautiful in its own way. A friend of mine from Kansas told me all about the part of Kansas they lived in: the tall weeds, the wildflowers in summer, the chickens they kept, the vast area they call home. She described it in such way that I could see the glimmer of love in her eyes, and I knew how precious it was all to her. She wasn't even American. A friend in Minneapolis texted me a picture of a snowy day one time, and I was amazed because that day in California was a somewhat sunny day. This all happened within one country. When we take our monthly road commute from California to Arizona it is always a treat to see how the vista changes and how the landscape and vegetation differs from one another, and it was enchanting to go from Arizona and see New Mexico for the first time with all its green vegetation and vast plains. A guy in Arizona once told me he had never seen the sea. As someone who grew up from an country made of several thousand islands, I find it both shocking and hard to believe. Yet it describes perfectly of what USA really is, a land so vast, a country so big that one states to the other would have such different characteristic yet so advanced and so well maintained that the (roughly) 400 miles distance between Tucson to Magdalena can be reached with only 6 hours. As a comparison, going around the island of Bali with motorcycle will take about 2 days, that means it roughly took 16 hours to travel 250 miles distance.

Picnic at The Getty, CA

Nevertheless, it is not just the land that describes USA. It is also about the people. It is about the friendly waitress at a diner in Datil that, when I told her I never had Pecan Pie before, happily gave me an extra slice because "It is so good!". It is about the quaint little Mexican food restaurant in Hatch with an old cabinet as decoration filled with books - both old and new, and the most delicious red chili enchilada I've ever had. It is about the friendly cashier at Tucson's Wildlife Museum's gift shop, who was ever so enthusiast to helped us and even joining our little family to try Salt 'n Vinegar Cricket, much to the delight of our six year old. It is about the man at an automotive store in Tucson that claimed there was nothing to see at sea, only sharks; and which his co-worker retort: "there are sharks on NYC too, but people go there". It is about our cool waitress at a bar in Dana Point who smilingly gave my friend a hug when she asked for one, even though it was clear she was not sober anymore. It is about the soft-spoken sales attendant in a firework shop between Arizona and New Mexico that proudly show some pictures he took when he visited California and found himself at a close proximity with an ongoing SWAT Team raid. It is about our nice cashier at an Albertson's in Costa Mesa that always manage to sneak us some extra stamps for the point program I had my eyes on. It is about all of those and more.

Roadside curios - between AZ and NM

My husband told me in the olden days people really like to do road trips, and he had such fond memories about the road trips he took with his dad where they would camp and go fishing and do all kind of fun things while driving from New Mexico to Arizona. We stopped at The Thing en route to New Mexico and he explained that those roadside attractions were famous in their heyday, providing entertainment for the children (and brief respite for their parents) on their road trip, since iPads and mobile phones and other 'electronic pacifier' didn't exist back then. I thought to myself, what a great way to see their country! As I mentioned above, it took far longer time for me to do road trip within Indonesia, both because of the road condition and also because we practically divided by sea and the ferries are not reliable at all; thus I am so envious with the ease of connections that the Americans have within their country. USA is about the driving through the sunset on the Plain of San Agustin with the VLA (and jackrabbits and pronghorns) in the background. USA is about immersing in joy and excitement at Santa Monica pier. USA is about appreciating art at The Getty (and the most delicious hot link pastrami burger at Hawkins). USA is about cuddling and enjoying the comfort of your home when the Tucson monsoon rain comes. USA is about a big country that offers a multitude of adventures and different culture and life style in its every part.

A lot of people don't realize this though. You can easily found these Americans in the comment section of any article (especially controversial ones), spouting their own belief and parading their ignorance. As for the people abroad, there are a lot of people who thinks US is the spawn of devil itself thanks to the war it inflicts to the world. Even though US have its own policy as the 'defender of democracy' and that most American citizens are unlikely to be the one that asked the government to wage war, it does not matter to the outside world who is adamant to claim that US is 'The Bad Guy'. But then again, does what outside people think about US really matters? As an outsider who currently resides in USA, the answer, for me, is that it doesn't matter. It's like when you were called fat or ugly, it hurts but nothing that anyone say about you can actually create a difference on how you look. It's how you see yourself that matters. And that is why I wrote this article. It is a selfish move, mind you. People who love and embrace themselves, or in this case, their country wholeheartedly are friendlier and far easier to deal with than dissatisfied ones. Who doesn't want to live in a place where everyone is happy and friendly? But even without that not-so-hidden motive, I feel I have been granted a precious opportunity to see USA from a fresh perspectives. I like what I see, and I hope to share this view with many others. Say what you want, complained and whine as you wish, but leave a room in your heart to properly see how beautiful and special your country is, and that she is indeed 'America, The Beautiful'.