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Monday, November 17, 2014

Ngangkot di Amerika dan Harga BBM

Karena harga BBM di Indonesia naik, saya jadi ingin sharing cerita saya ngangkot di Amerika. Soalnya salah satu argumen orang yang misuh-misuh dengan kenaikan BBM adalah karena pemerintah Indonesia belum bikin transportasi masal yang layak seperti di negara maju. Padahal, di Amerika sendiri ini yang saya rasakan transportasi masalnya tidak bagus-bagus amat.

Waktu saya baru pindah ke Amerika, saya bangga sekali bisa memahami cara naik bus disana hanya dengan browsing-browsing di internet. FYI, si Akang saya saja tidak paham cara naik bus karena dia kemana-mana selalu naik mobil. Setelah saya mencoba-coba naik bus, baru saya paham kenapa dia malas naik bus: lama dan tidak tepat waktu. Busnya sendiri sih tidak ada masalah ya, selalu terlihat rapi jali dan lumayan bersih; waktu nunggunya yang sengsara. Jarak dari apartemen saya ke mall atau perpustakaan itu cuma 15 menit naik mobil, tapi naik bis bisa 45 menit. Belum lagi kalau kebetulan ketinggalan bus, bisa 20-30 menit lagi menunggu bis berikutnya. Dan kalau kelewatan haltenya, siap-siap jalan kaki ke halte sebelumnya, yang bisa sekitar 500-800 meter jauhnya. Jadi malas syalala kan kemana-mana naik bus. Ini di Orange County lho, yang konon salah satu county/kabupaten paling ciamik di Amerika; dan halte bus nya terletak tak jauh dari apartemen saya.

Waktu sempat berkunjung ke Arizona dan New Mexico, transportasinya lebih parah lagi. Di Arizona masih ada bus, tapi hanya melayani dalam kota saja dan itu pun tidak menjangkau banyak tempat. Lokasi tempat kami tinggal itu sekitar 2.5 km dari supermarket terdekat, jadi kalau jalan kaki lumayan gempor. Ini pun ternyata hitungannya sudah lumayan, karena banyak daerah elit yang posisinya lebih terpencil lagi. Main ke rumah keluarganya Akang itu bisa 30-45 menit di jalan saking jauhnya, padahal hitungannya satu kota. Terbayang nggak sengsaranya kalau tidak punya mobil? Di New Mexico bahkan lebih parah. Kami berkunjung ke Magdalena yang terletak di dekat VLA (Very Large Array, kumpulan satelit yang jadi backgroundnya film Contact dan video klip Bon Jovi dan berbagai hal keren lainnya), dan sama sekali tidak ada transportasi umum disana. Boro-boro transportasi umum, pompa bensin yang lain saja bisa sampai 30 km jauhnya.

Waktu kami tinggal di Los Angeles, transportasi umumnya sangat baik (menurut saya). Si Akang yang biasanya malas naik bus pun jadi ketagihan naik bus. Bukan apa-apa, parkir di Los Angeles itu susah dan mahal, jadi memang lebih murah naik bus. Tapi setelah agak lama tinggal disini baru saya ngeh: tidak semua bagian Los Angeles terjangkau bus, dan subway pun tidak terlalu luas jangkauannya. Lagi-lagi, keterbatasan armada dan kemacetan dalam kota membuat naik bus tidak menyenangkan. Bus yang biasanya muncul tiap 15 menit bisa baru muncul tiap 30 menit di jam sibuk, atau muncul lebih cepat 5-10 menit dari jadwal sehingga penumpang yang sudah pede bakal on time harus menunggu bus berikutnya. Oh ya, tiap weekend biasanya ada detour untuk rute bus dalam kota, dan banyak penumpang yang baru ngeh saat membaca pengumuman di halte bus. Kalau santai-santai sih tidak apa-apa, tapi kalau lagi terburu-buru tidak cihui kan?  

Yang paling bagus dari Amerika buat saya bukan transportasi masalnya, tapi kondisi jalannya. Bahkan yang konon kota kecil pun jalannya masih lumayan bagus dan tidak menyakiti mobil. Naik mobil antara Los Angeles - Arizona yang sekitar 787 km itu butuh cuma 6-7 jam, sementara Jakarta-Denpasar yang sekitar 1200 km itu butuh 24 jam lebih, pakai bus yang ngebut maut saja bisa sekitar 30 jam. Contoh lain, disini jarak 50 km itu bisa ditempuh (tanpa macet di freeway) sekitar 30-45 menit, dan ini tidak ngebut maut ya. Teman saya pernah bilang, di Amerika freeway itu mudah karena dataran Amerika yang luas dan relatif rata (tidak banyak pegunungan). Kalau dilihat soal kondisi geologi, memang benar bahwa Indonesia lebih menantang; tapi fakta yang tidak bisa terbantahkan adalah semakin bagus infrastruktur maka semakin mudah melakukan pemerataan ekonomi dan penekanan biaya-biaya. Jadi kalaupun BBM naik atau turun, hari raya atau hari biasa, tidak ada lagi alasan harga-harga naik dengan semena-mena.

Buat saya, hal yang harusnya kita pikirkan saat kisruh soal BBM ya itu tadi, bagaimana membuat pasar stabil jadi harga BBM naik atau turun tidak ada pengaruhnya. Seperti yang saya gambarkan diatas, di Amerika sendiri (yang BBM nya naik turun sesuai harga pasar) transportasi masalnya tidak super friendly. Masih mending di Indonesia, masih ada ojek dan/atau transportasi pelat hitam lainnya. Jadi, argumen yang menyalahkan pemerintah soal BBM dengan bilang bahwa pemerintah tidak bertanggung jawab karena tidak menyediakan transportasi masal yang memadai menurut saya tidak valid. Hal yang paling mencolok dari Amerika adalah kesiapan infrastruktur mereka, jalan-jalan raya yang membentang dari satu sudut ke sudut lainnya dan mencakup hampir seluruh bagian di Amerika. Bagaimana dengan Indonesia? Pariwisata yang bisa dibilang nyaris tanpa modal saja banyak sekali dikuasai orang asing, apalagi produk-produk buatan ibu pertiwi seperti bahan tambang dan hasil bumi yang membutuhkan modal besar untuk 'memanen' dan mengeluarkannya dari pulau-pulau terpencil. Dana subsidi BBM bisa dipakai untuk pembangunan infrastruktur ini.

Buat yang masih sakit hati dan bilang kalau pencabutan subsidi BBM berarti tidak berpihak pada rakyat kecil, tolong diingat kalau saat daerah lain menikmati subsidi BBM, harga BBM di Papua bisa mencapai Rp 50,000 seliternya. Tolong juga dihargai usaha pemerintah yang memang serius menaikkan dan melakukannya dengan cepat dan efisien, dan bukannya tarik ulur seperti jaman presiden-presiden yang lalu. Dulu-dulu tanggal kenaikan harga BBM diumumkan jauh-jauh hari, sehingga kenaikan harga barang dan tarif transportasi jadi dobel: saat baru 'akan' sudah dinaikkan, saat sudah naik ya naik lagi. Walau batal naik (demi rakyat ceritanya) tetap saja tidak ada usaha menurunkan harga pasar. Yang sengsara masyarakat juga kan? Indonesia saat ini ibaratnya seperti keluarga buruh yang berusaha bertahan hidup dari penghasilan mereka, dimana penghasilan tetap namun biaya hidup meningkat. Cara tercepat agar bisa bertahan hidup ya dengan memangkas biaya yang tidak perlu. Banyak orang yang rela hidup sederhana demi kemajuan dirinya sendiri (kuliah, modal usaha, kesehatan, etc), kenapa Indonesia tidak bisa?

Kita tidak bisa memisahkan diri kita dengan pemerintah. Kita tidak bisa bilang "saya rakyat" dan "kamu pemerintah", karena pemerintah pun sebenarnya bagian dari rakyat, dan sebagai rakyat kita punya andil dalam pemerintahan. Adalah tugas pemerintah untuk menyejahterakan rakyatnya, namun rakyat Indonesia juga harus berhenti bersikap manja dan minta sedikit-sedikit disuapi oleh pemerintah. Kita adalah satu. Satu nusa, satu bangsa, satu bahasa. Kita adalah Indonesia. Silakan gigit jari kalau masih mau ngambek, tapi jangan lupa kalau kita tetap satu Indonesia :)  

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Abstinence and Soberness: Being a Woman in an Anti-feminist Country

Here we go again....

Unlike the viral cat-calling video, not many people were amused with this one. It was badly made, they say, and the acting was just terrible (the drunk woman and the actors). And being drunk without any help is not a big thing, especially in LA where you can see people wasted in almost every corner of the street. Still the article pressed the issue: women should not be taken advantage of when they are not in control of themselves. Newsflash, fellas: in this world, people with disadvantage get taken advantage of every single time. The rich milked on the poor, the healthy trumped the sick, the sober prey on the drunk. No news here.

If by this time you already think I am an anti-feminist and doesn't support my fellow women, you may be right. Nevertheless, let me tell you a story and maybe we all can learn something about it.

I come from Indonesia, born and raised in the capital city of Jakarta. Women who drink or do non-marital sex are frowned upon, and virginity is considered (at least when I grew up) an absolute must requirement in order to find yourself a decent husband. Coming to America, reading all the news and seeing some proof firsthand, I realize that here sex and drunk/alcohol goes side by side and is somewhat one of America's favorite past time activities. It was so popular that even the slightest idea to control it (especially for women) were met with a loud chorus: "Don't take women's right! Don't victimize the victim!" and such and such. But is it really that bad to do a little more of self control in these matters?

In Indonesia, alcohol is expensive. It is unthinkable to gorge on a can of beer when with the same amount of money you can get a filling, healthy, and balanced meal. Local beer and cheap alcohols were associated with the lower social class, and any kind of drunkenness is frowned upon and considered as 'bad seed'. Men in the villages still gather and get drunk sometimes, but it was more of traditional gathering and not something to be boasted. Again, people who wish to have good social standing in the society generally does not indulge himself in alcohol. I've been to youth gatherings during my university years where the boys got cheerfully drunk, but even then the girls were not allowed to drink much. As restricting as it sound it actually helped the girls and again, it showed how girls are put in a higher level than the boys (people with good social standing a.k.a the nice ones do not get drunk). 

How does this help me as a woman? Since alcohol is not a 'hot item' and such, I rarely seen women drink uncontrollably, and my friends that did were well in their twenties and already have a source of income. I do not feel the peer pressure to get wasted on alcohol or correlate alcohol with fun. To enjoy alcohol is an option made fully realizing that my society will most likely look at me in the harsh light. This means, only the adult women who are capable in thinking sober and can actually be responsible for their own action gets to 'touch' alcohol (a.k.a get wasted). True that there are still young girls, especially from the lower socioeconomic status or those who aspired to be 'as cool as the westerners' that abuse alcohol; but it was not an option for the (somewhat prude) middle to upper socioeconomic status. I considered myself lucky in this matter, because I can choose my vice. When I drink it was because I want to and not because the society forced upon me that alcohol is cool, and I was able to drink responsibly because my society forced me to be responsible for myself.

The same goes with sex. I didn't have sex until my early twenties, and even then I had to persuade my partner because he think pre-marital sex is sinful. Pre-marital or non-marital sex is something that you confess in a hush-hush and told in shame, that is if you ever had the guts to tell anyone about it. I enjoy making my friends think I am such a vixen, but even so I never tell a single breath to anyone about sex with my partner(s). Again, this means I had sex when I was physically and emotionally ready for it, and not because the society tells me so. My society's view on the sacredness of the sex also led me to have pride and dignity on my body. The only few times I did non-committal sex made me feel violated instead of empowered. It was fun, sex was always fun, but in no way I could emotionally enjoy having someone use my body just because they can.

This article is in no way saying that we women shouldn't drink alcohol and have sex as much as we want. This article is trying to say that maybe, just maybe, making responsible decision (a.k.a controlling yourself) when it comes to sex and alcohol is not such a bad thing after all. Getting drunk and having sex when you are (somewhat) adult may not be much different than when you are a teenager, but at least the older you get usually the more responsible you would be towards your body and on making sensible decision. And yes, we are responsible for our own action. For a country that take gun rights seriously for the citizen's own protection, I am surprised that Americans instead choose to trust their safety when they are drunk to the hands of their fellow citizen. It is such a contradictory, isn't it? 

This issue matters to me because I have stepchildren and I am toying to have a child of my own. I want them to experience life in the fullest, to do things because they wanted to and because they think it is time for them do so and not because their surroundings deemed that they are ready for it. I want my daughters to be proud of their own body and my sons to be respectful towards the woman's body, and this can only be achieve when they can take their sweet time with it instead of rushing to it because they think being a virgin is not cool. We talk and talk and talk about the rape culture, but we do not see that maybe, maybe it all happen because these kids are not ready for it yet the society tells them they are. And for the adult feminists out there, isn't protecting a woman's dignity more important and more empowering than just forcing our rights? Getting wasted and having as much sex as one want is not empowering, or making us equal with men; but making a responsible choice in regards to sex and alcohol is. It is actually a very sane thing to do, regardless of the gender. For some reason though, any remarks about women shouldn't put themselves in compromising position (drunk, sexy clothing) was almost always met with the chorus "Why does women always get victimize?" and "Blame the perpetrator, not the victim!". No sane man would walk unprotected in a criminal-laden area of Los Angeles, or climbing a snowy mountain without proper warm clothes, so why women are so special? What is so empowering about expecting the other gender (a.k.a men) to 'behave' instead of taking action on ourselves? Isn't that mean that we women are still on their mercy?

In the end, if we take the woman factor out, the video above is merely a video of people trying to take advantage from their fellow human. Yes, she is a woman. Yes, she is drunk. Yet the essence is the same. Criminality happens, bad people are abound. That is just life, that is just world. Women shouldn't be raped just because how they are dressed, or be raped or treated violently for any cause. But you know what? So does men. And each day, maybe each second a person is being wrongfully/maliciously treated. Our crusade shouldn't be about women vs men and vice versa. Our crusade should be against humanity in general, the competitive and primitive part of us that instinctively wanted to devour the weak and made them our prey. This is our true crusade. This is what we should fight for.

Sunday, November 9, 2014

Hey You in The Mirror

Hey you in the mirror
Why are you so sad? Why are you so blue?
I could see the lines in your face
And the pain inside your heart
You don't need to hide it from me
You can't ever hide it from me
For I am you, and you are me
And whatever you feel, I feel it too

Hey you in the mirror
I remember the times when I was happy
You've never seen a more beautiful smile
Nor felt a more joyous feeling
I shared those moments with you
And how we love those moments!
For I am you, and you are me
And whatever I feel, you feel it too

Hey you in the mirror
Look at me, look at me in front of you
The one person who understand you
The one person who could feel you
The one person that will never leave you
The one person that is yours truly
For we are one another
And whatever we feel, we share it with each other

Hey you in the mirror
I know you are sad right now
I know you are lonely right now
I know you feel you don't belong anywhere
I know you feel you will never fit in
And maybe, you know, maybe you are right
I know this because I am you
You know I know because you are me

So rest your back in the mirror
And know that I got your back
And even if the mirror breaks
You will still see me in the sparkling clean glass window in shops
You will still see me in the dirty puddle in the street
You will still see me in the reflection of your cool pair of sunglasses
I will never leave you, and you know this is true
Because we are meant to be

Hey you in the mirror
Rest up, take a breather
Cuss and cry, sob and shout
Let your feeling out
Do whatever you need to get it out of your system
Until the time that you are ready to smile again
I will be with you throughout the grim and grin
And baby, I got your back
I always do.

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