AdSense Page Ads

Showing posts with label finance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label finance. Show all posts

Friday, September 30, 2016

Kebebasan Finansial

Ngobrol sama teman dan tercetus kata 'Financially independent' alias independen secara financial. Jargon MLM banget nggak sih? Biasanya habis itu yang terbayang iming-iming mobil mewah, liburan ke luar negeri, rumah gedong nan besar, dan jangan lupa "tidak harus bekerja lagi seumur hidup". Err…

Nggak ada yang namanya nggak bekerja lagi seumur hidup. Anggota keluarga kerajaan atau artis-artis yang duitnya berlimpah juga tetap bekerja. Kunjungan Kate Middleton dan Prince William ke Kanada baru-baru ini hitungannya kerja. Artis-artis yang difoto sama paparazzi pun selalu kerja dengan nongol cantik/ganteng dimana-mana biar mukanya tetap dikenal dan tetap laku albumnya/filmnya. Impian punya mobil mewah etc juga seperti impian bakal hidup happily ever after kalau dapat suami/istri super menarik, padahal maintenancenya tinggi dan ngerepotin. 

Tapi karena ini yang 'dijual', kita berpikir bahwa 'financial independence' alias kebebasan finansial itu jauh banget dan sulit terwujud. Ya iyalah, beli rumah mewah berapa M sekarang? Beli hape saja sudah nggak bisa cuma Rp 500rb seperti dulu. Sibuklah kita merana atau mencari jalan pintas seperti cari dukun pengganda uang (versi tradisional) dan arisan berantai (versi modern). Padahal kebebasan finansial itu nggak sebegitu jauhnya untuk dicapai, asalkan definisinya diubah. It's not about what you want to have, it's about what you should have. Bukan tentang apa yang ingin anda miliki, namun tentang apa yang harusnya anda miliki.

Saat ikut seminar training Financial Service khusus wanita disini, yang disharing bukan hadiah jor-joran dan iming-iming "Saya bisa lho punya rumah mewah!". Yang disharing adalah cerita ibu-ibu yang membantu keluarganya hidup nyaman dan aman berkat perencanaan finansial mereka. Ini buat saya barang baru banget. There is more than life than just obtaining status symbol. Ada lebih dari hidup daripada hanya mengejar simbol status. Keluarga Ibu A mampu bertahan tanpa hutang kartu kredit atau pinjaman lainnya selama tiga bulan setelah suaminya di PHK. Ibu B membantu suaminya lepas dari hutang dan membeli rumah idaman mereka. Ibu C melepas dirinya sendiri dari hutang dan memiliki asset yang tidak sedikit.

Ini dia kebebasan finansial yang sebenar-benarnya. Kebebasan finansial bukan hanya nggak bekerja atau bergantung lagi sama orang. Hey, anda punya toko/usaha sendiri pun masih akan bergantung pada pelanggan kan? Kebebasan finansial adalah titik dimana kalau anda tidak kerja sehari, kalau ada sesuatu yang terjadi pada anda, kalau ada kondisi darurat, anda tidak akan terpuruk, tidak akan panik, dan jelas tidak perlu mencari pinjaman kemana-mana. Yang saat anak masuk sekolah atau hari raya nggak pusing tujuh keliling, yang liburan dengan hati tenang dan bukannya setelah liburan stress karena nggak bisa makan, ini bukan yang harusnya kita dapatkan? Hidup tenang, aman, damai tanpa perlu parno kebutuhan dasar hidup nggak terpenuhi.

Mau gaji anda Rp 1 juta atau Rp 100 juta sebulan, kebebasan finansial diawali dengan satu hal: analisa kebutuhan keuangan. Duduk manis barang 30 menit (atau lebih), tulis semua kebutuhan/pengeluaran anda, tulis semua pemasukan anda. Jangan cuma dikira-kira ya, pastikan seakurat mungkin, yang setiap hari pengeluaran anda apa saja dan berapa saja. Kalau perlu pakai excel sheet biar akurat menghitungnya. Pastikan semua pengeluaran utama yang tidak mungkin diabaikan seperti transportasi, uang sewa, tagihan listrik, dan tentunya tabungan, ditaruh paling atas. Budget lain-lain seperti makan bisa belakangan.



Kalau sudah tahu kurang lebih berapa kebutuhan anda, anda bisa pakai aplikasi budgeting gratisan untuk mengontrol keuangan anda, misalnya saja Monefy atau Money Lover – Money Manager atau Spending Tracker. Agak repot memang harus memasukkan data setiap kali anda melakukan transaksi, tapi paling tidak anda jadi tahu berapa pengeluaran anda yang sebenar-benarnya dan bagaimana anda mampu meraih gol finansial anda. Percaya deh, setelah duduk dan melihat sesungguh-sungguhnya kondisi keuangan anda, anda akan lebih bisa merencanakan hidup anda dengan lebih realistis. Ini latihan yang harus dilakukan setiap orang paling tidak sekali seumur hidup. Anggap saja seperti tes kolesterol atau diabetes, lebih baik tahu sekarang daripada terlambat.


Para wanita pun nggak boleh malu-malu kucing melakukan hal ini, apalagi yang sudah berkeluarga. Jargonnya perkumpulan agen wanita di company ini adalah: husband is not a backup plan, suami bukanlah rencana cadangan. Apalagi rencana utama. Waktu saya ditinggal demi perempuan lain, saya masih bisa hidup tenang dan damai karena saya financially independent dan nggak bergantung pada suami saya. Nggak semua orang sesial saya, tapi masih banyak bencana lain yang bisa terjadi: suami tidak bisa bekerja, suami sakit, suami di phk, dan sebagainya. Aktif dan cerdas dalam mengelola keuangan keluarga bukan menyepelekan suami, namun justru membantu suami. Kasihan kan suami sudah kerja banting tulang dan masih memikirkan bagaimana bayar cicilan motor bulan ini?

Duduk dan membicarakan keuangan ini berlaku dua arah ya, kedua belah pihak harus mau melihat dan mengerti situasi keuangan keluarga dan bekerja sama untuk menstabilkan, syukur-syukur memakmurkan kondisi keuangan keluarga. Ini susah. Waktu soal duduk bersama pasangan ini di mention, suasana ballroom tempat event ini langsung hening mencekam. Duduk mengurus keuangan sendiri saja orang sudah ogah, karena harus menghadapi fakta akan apa yang bisa dan tidak bisa dilakukan; apalagi harus melakukannya bersama pasangan. Tapi rumah, pendidikan anak, kendaraan, itu semua urusan berdua kan? Mau nggak mau ya harus menyadari yang sebenar-benarnya kondisi kapal bagaimana.

Pengetahuan akan kebutuhan keuangan anda juga akan membantu anda merencanakan masa depan anda. Kalau ternyata memang kebutuhan anda lebih besar daripada pemasukan anda, saatnya melihat mana yang bisa dipangkas atau memikirkan bagaimana meningkatkan pemasukan anda. Sekolah atau kursus lagi misalnya, agar kesempatan kerja lebih baik. Atau mendapatkan pemasukan tambahan dari berjualan atau bisnis lainnya. Dengan budgeting ini akan bisa terlihat berapa sebenarnya pemasukan yang anda dapatkan dari bisnis anda tersebut, agar tidak besar pasak daripada tiang. Anda pun akan mampu merencanakan masa depan (menabung untuk hari raya misalnya, atau untuk DP rumah, syukur-syukur investasi) dengan lebih nyaman bila anda tau seberapa banyak yang realistisnya bisa anda sisihkan.

Kredibilitas saya? Saya bisa walk out dengan hanya baju di koper setelah bekerja setahun kurang di Los Angeles dengan gaji sedikit diatas UMR. Saya bisa sewa apartemen sendiri plus bayar depositnya dan segala macam tagihan (hape, asuransi, pajak, etc), bisa furnish apartemen sendiri, bisa hura-hura belanja online untuk mengobati kepedihan saya (jyaaaaahhh), bisa jalan-jalan ke Seattle 6 hari. Setelah tabungan dan pemasukan terkuras untuk segala tetek bengek ini (saya dipotong pajak etc untuk single itu sampai 21% lho), saya masih bisa ngebudget untuk investasi, dana pensiun, dan bahkan asuransi jiwa. Nggak banyak sih, tapi yang penting ada. Prinsip saya nggak apa-apa makan telur seminggu penuh asal bisa ke restoran sekali, dan asal semua tabungan investasi etc tetap jalan. Ini buat saya pencapaian lho, karena saya datang kesini cuma modal cinta saja. Orang asli sini saja belum tentu bisa walk out begitu.

Baik anda mahasiswa yang menunggu kiriman wesel dari rumah (masih ada ya??), pekerja kantoran gress baru lulus kuliah, atau bos besar dengan sopir dua dan pembantu lima, pengelolaan keuangan anda sangat penting dalam hidup anda. Dikira-kira memang enak, dan saya yakin banyak orang yang hidupnya baik-baik saja dengan perkiraan budgetingnya; namun angka tidak bisa bohong. Melihat angka merah di budget app anda lebih bikin 'bangun' daripada sekedar berpikir, "Kayanya gue udah over budget deh." Buat yang berpasangan/berkeluarga pun keuangan bisa make or break relationship. Sudah siap hidup tenang?

Friday, September 16, 2016

When Money Killed My Marriage

Looking back, I think what killed my marriage was money. I want to say that it just didn't work out. I want to say that we are just too different, that we have nothing in common. I want to say that he is a horrible human being, but then again I probably am too, and that's why we called it a day. But no. Money killed the marriage. Plain and simple.

It was there lurking in the background, creating the feeling of inadequacy. As we fight and bicker, as we vent our frustration with each other, it was there silently inflamed the frustration. As we cuddle and smile and being loving to one another, it was there silently spread a sense of underlying uneasiness. The sad part is, we have enough. It's not like we can't buy groceries or pay rent. It's just that we can't go on impulsive vacations or eating out often or take a day or a week off from work because we feel like it.

"Why are we still living in this tiny apartment?"
"Why are we still living in this sh*thole area?"
"We are not meant to live poor like this."
"Why are we not successful?"
"Why are you not a famous writer yet?"
"Why don't we have our own house, here or in Bali?"
"Why don't we have a plan?"
On good days, I will bite my tongue and stay mum on the above 'criticism'; on bad days I will counter the negative talk and we'll end up in full-blown argument.

The problem with marrying someone from abroad, especially when you meet her/him there, is that you fell in love with a girl/boy on vacation. You are not working, you got money to spend, and even if you are in his/her country to work it'll still have that distinct 'not-home' feel. When you are on vacay or making money is some faraway country you are not bothered with the bills or groceries or other day-to-day dread. You are relaxed, you are enjoying yourself. You then associate the relax and laid back feeling with that person and you think you'll achieve the same happiness with him/her every single time. It's like falling in love with a mirage.

Granted, not everyone is like this. Throughout the courtship, and eventually the marriage, time will tell if you really love this person for who he/she is, or do you love him/her for who you think (or hope) he/she is. It is a challenging enough chore, especially since you suddenly live together after a lengthy period of absence. You think it's cute when he said he love bacon, you didn't realize he ate bacon with pretty much everything, even his buggers. You think it's adorable when she said she love to cuddle, you didn't realize it means she wants to cuddle with you 24/7 like an octopus. Add financial stress to the equation and it's no longer challenging. It is downright painful.

What people don't realize is marrying someone from abroad is an expensive business. Unless the said person owns an immeasurable wealth, the sponsor (the US spouse) will be responsible for most, if not all of the bill. It is even formally required for getting fiancée/spouse visa and the conditional green card: the sponsor has to support the fiancée/spouse for two years until he/she got the non-conditional green card (or if he/she failed to obtained it and has to leave US). The initial K1 visa application itself could reach a whopping $1675. Then there's the interview and medical checkup (complete with vaccines and such). Then there's the plane ticket. Then there's the wedding fee of $135 (in CA), and this is only for courthouse wedding. Then there's another medical checkup in US for green card application, and pay up for green card application + work permit. All and all the official fee could go well into $4-5k mark.

Even if the spouse is able to pay half of the cost, there's added issue with him/her not be able to work right away. It took almost 6 months from my arrival to me receiving my work permit. It took a while for me to adjust myself in the US and I only got my first job about 4-6 months after I live in LA. My friend spent a year in community college before getting her first job. The reason is: our work experience and education means jacksh*t in US. Yes, I am a 30 something woman, but in US work force I am pretty much the equivalent of a fresh-graduate. When you sign that immigration form stating you are willing to support your fiancé/spouse, you have to really mean it because that's what will happen. Not because your fiancé/spouse is an unashamed golddigger, but because most likely he/she will need adjustment process for herself, and have to go through all the bureaucratic process of establishing him/herself as a legal resident of US in order to work legally.

This is where we failed. When we had money during the first year of our marriage, everything was smooth and fun. Entering second year, the fact that I was not working yet, and afterwards working but only earning half of what he earned, was a big annoyance for him and it lingers like a thorn in our relationship. The fact that relationship was more than money game, the fact that I poured all my heart and love to him, to the kids, to the family, these mean nothing for him. He was adamant on me 'leeching' off of him, even though I can clearly show him how much he actually 'spent' on me per month, and even though I actually chipped in right as soon as I got a job. He was not ready for the financial implication of the marriage.

Sadly, this is preventable. Yes, he is a jerk and there's nothing to prevent that. But had he actually sit down and planned out everything, we might have a chance. Sitting down and talking about your finance is scary and embarrassing. Everybody get a little defensive because nobody wants to be told that he/she can't afford things they like. Thus the evasion, the "I don't want to talk about it right now", the "I am in good condition"; it's like putting off going to the dentist for the hole in your tooth, but day in and day out you live with the painful uncomfortable feeling plus the dread knowing you will eventually have to go there anyway. One visit, one very scary moment as the doctor examined your mouth and pulled the bad tooth out, and you're done. You might even find yourself in a better place than you are before. Yeah, the strip club visits need to stop, but you'll be able to eat more than just cereal each day so to speak.

Successful couple shares the same goals, and more importantly, willing to work together to achieve that goal. Financial stability is something that every couple should strive for, especially to achieve other goals. It's easier to deal with issues and emergencies when you don't have to worry whether or not you can pay for next month's rent or buy gas to get to the office. It's easier to forgive and forget in/after the fight if you do it with full stomach and a warm bed to rest at night. I tried everything: finance on excel spreadsheet, various budgeting app from the manual to the automatic ones; he just won't budge. In the meantime, the frustration kept mounting, the fights became more and more bitter, and in the end, here we are right now, completely separated from one another.

Money destroyed my relationship but in a way it saved my life. Coming from Indonesia, I quickly realize how easy it is to navigate US' pretty-straightforward system. I managed to arrange all of my bank accounts to get the monthly fee waived. I dabbled in the world of budgeting app before finally settling into an automated one, even tried robo-investing app. I live strictly by my budget and count every penny (technically my app did that for me). By the time I decided I have enough of him I could easily walk out the door for good, because I know I can afford living by myself. My rainy day fund was enough to furnish the apartment, mini vacay to Seattle, and even self-medication through binge online shopping. I got hit by apartment fee, increase in tax withholding, and other bills that would be so much cheaper if we could share the costs. Yet it doesn't bother me that much. As a matter of fact, I now have an investment account, a ROTH/IRA, and life insurance. This all happened with my (a little bit above) minimum wage job. What he and I could achieve together, considering he makes 2.5x what I make, could be phenomenal. But it didn't happen.

If you are looking to get serious with someone, if you wanted to escape of your daily frustration with life, sit down and do your finance. Money is not everything but having it (wisely) will give you option, which will be very useful when sh*t happens. And since this is life we're talking about, sh*t always happen. There's no embarrassment on knowing what you can or cannot afford, and everybody struggle with this regardless of how much they make. Save your relationship, save your sanity. Sit down and do your homework. It will do you good, and you might not need to lose the one you love. Take it from me: it sucks.

Search This Blog