Red

Never thought I'd have a tattoo

I got one now

Thought I would be stagnant

I'm leaping high now

Said I won't love again 

Got a fiancé now

Accepting my city dweller life

Love my white picket fence now

Instead of dull gray monochromatic

I have the brightest red

Red for speed

As we accelerate our life

From 0 to 120 in record time

Red for passion

As we indulge our senses

Savoring every bit the city offers

Red for strength

As we support each other

And people whom we love

Red for love

The emotions running wild from

A glimpse of each other's smile

Red for majestic

A taste of humbling amazingness

Of this crazy thing called love

Red for certainty

Knowing that this is it

This. Is. It.

Red for warmth

Radiating from each other's presence

And will be there no matter what

Loving you is red like I'd never known

The red that made Padmé a queen

The red of Dany's Drogon

The red that looks so good on me

As I close chapters of my life

I am excited for new ones with you

Here's to the brightest, warmest red

The most beautiful one

LA has ever seen

Here's to us.

Sack of Potatoes

I overstepped yesterday. Someone reminded me how my views on a certain subject are always negative. The disappointment in their voice scared me and for a second everything fell apart for me.

Don't get me wrong, I needed that. The reminder is like a cold slap to my arrogance. It forced me to reconsider and recalculate my views. It made me realize my view on that matter was heavily biased by my own trauma and grief, and I should do better.

What scared me was how much it hurts to not be 'perfect'. That every flaw I have, every wrong and every disagreement will be a valid point to leave me. If I am not good enough, I am in danger of being left behind. Again.

Which is a load of bullsh--. 

I am imperfect. I am flawed. As much as I want to think how amazing I am, I am not without fault. And that's ok. As long as I strive to do better, as long as I try to give the best for the world, it's ok. And even then, people will still have different opinions, different perspectives on things. And that's ok. 

I don't have to be perfect to be loved. Sometimes my imperfections drove people away, and that's ok. That's their prerogative. My job is not to fit in someone else's mold. My job is to be better in any way I can. For myself. For other humans. For the world.

This note is a reminder for myself. Yesterday I started the burlesque class thinking how I looked like a sack of potatoes; an hour later I still looked like a sack of potatoes but with a dangerously seductive smile. I love who I am. I am aware of my imperfections but I love who I am. 

This is the level of acceptance where I want to be with my personal awareness. To accept what can't be changed and to change what I can, and still love myself in between. I will get there.

Kingslanding

I think the craziest thing someone could do is doing shocked Pikachu face when a woman turns mad and crazy after being pushed too far.

Lucia di Lammermoor. Daenerys Targaryen. Me.

We women are emotional. Hormonal. We use our emotion instead of our logic and throw common sense out of the window in lieu of "gut feeling". We are weak. We are unreasonable. We can't be trusted.

Yet we are strong enough to carry the hormonal roller coaster in us. We are strong enough to be the nest of a growing human. We are strong enough to wake up everyday and live a life where people have claims on us just because we are our gender.

To be told to know our place. To be told to sit still and look pretty. To be expected to always lend helping hands, even if it costs us. To have the water in our well taken continuously until the well is almost dried.

So we went all out. The fierce fire that we saved to protect our children. The brutal strength we have to weather the world. The sharp wit of many mothers that will occupy the world. We will fight. We will save ourselves. The world, however, went shocked Pikachu face and called us witches and whores.

All the murders and destruction, all the crazy bits and insane pieces, all the "Damn crazy bitches". All which can be avoidable, had we been put in a place where we don't have to summon hell in order to protect ourselves. 

Women are not "difficult", nor "weak". We are human, one of the apex predators in the food chain. We will fight back for our safety, for our deserving place in society. Watch the fire, lovelies. It burns.