Sanctity of Life

I wonder how abortion rights would be if men or people with penis think carefully before putting their penis inside a woman.

An ex once told me he never pays for women, and that sex is sacred and when he has sex with his partner(s) he already considers marrying them beforehand. Let's imagine that this is true, wouldn't this be nice? 

Sex can indeed be a religious experience. When you consider it as a commitment to marriage and raising a family together, you too would be very, very picky on where you put your dick in. After all, isn't that what the patriarchy and holy texts are about? Whatever your religion is, fathers and husbands are often seen as the head and the guide of the family. Isn't it the shepherd's task to choose the right flocks and to take care of the flocks they have?

Imagine going on dates where men want to see if you are the right person to build a family with, and not just immediately whipping dicks out the moment you smile a little too eagerly. Imagine being with people who sat next to you and discussing at length what would happen if the, ah, entwinement, produce a viable human being. 

Even if all these magical things happen, the person carrying the baby still has the final say. 

I used to cringe in distaste with jokes about abortion. I don't believe in 'taking lives'. There's an episode of my favorite anime series where the antagonist is a malevolent spirit created by the many aborted babies. That used to be what came first to my mind when I thought about abortion: this hideous being floating angrily for being wrenched away from a promised life.

That me was a sheltered me. A girl who thinks abortion is only for people who choose a shitty partner, on which they shouldn't have sex before marriage anyway. Abortion is only for tramps and whores who can't keep their legs closed. I was going to find someone, get married, and have kids. Abortion was never going to be an issue for me.

Except that it was always an issue. Coming to America was a game-changer for me. I was no longer trapped in societal confinement and my sexuality blooms. I have a future now that doesn't hinge on whether I am married or not. Abortion now is definitely on the table. I made the decision of using a birth control implant for 9 years now, and even though for me I don't think I can go through with abortion I am very very grateful that I have no kids whatsoever with my ex-partner.

This is something I failed to see until I come to the US. People back home have abortions too. Out of convenience. Out of shame. Out of abuse. Out of the desire to escape abuse. Out of the desire to pursue a better life. The people I know who went through with it are who and where they are because of it. My firsthand experience with kids and actual marriage also makes me realize how horrifying that commitment is. 

If the sanctity of life is the reason to ban abortion, then shouldn't it be started from the moment the 'making of' happened? One woman getting laid with 10 different men in a day can only conceive one time, and that's an if. One man getting laid with 10 different women in a day can potentially get 10 babies (cough cough Nick Cannon). Wouldn't the burden be on men/sperm donors to protect this sanctity of life at any cost? Including providing for the said woman/women and the future DNA vessel(s) should his seed result in a viable human being?

 

This is not just because and/or when they are 'caught', but from the get-go to the extent of them not having sex unless to someone that they are willing to be committed to for 18+ years. Or take necessary precautions. Nobody in their right mind, should they protect the sanctity of life, should be ok with doing it raw. What if the partner missed her pill or didn't take it? I am on birth control because I know I can't always guarantee my partners are willing to put on condoms. I made the effort to protect the sanctity of life. I honestly expect the same from those who are so eager to blast abortions.

If life is sacred, then sex is sacred because that's how you get them babies. If we don't want abortions, we should switch our behavior, especially the sperm donors, to ensure no random viable zygote fetuses etc are born. Everything viable has to be accounted for, has to be loved, has to be given the best the parents could offer. Discussion on how to raise the viable human being, should by random chance despite all the precautions still managed to exist, should be done before the penis went into the vagina. No matter where the sperm ends up, it is still a discussion that had to be had before sex.

Come on. It's not that hard. It just dismantling the perceptions we have about manhood for millenniums. I mean, sure my ex-partner cheated on me both emotionally and physically and has a much higher number of sexual partners than he admitted including those he pays for, but it can be done. Until then, shut the f- up about someone's abortion.

Warna-warni Pelangi

Bolak-balik saya melihat orang lebih fokus soal anak Elon Musk yang transisi jenis kelamin daripada fakta bahwa dia sebegitu enegnya dengan bapaknya ia memutuskan hubungan. Seorang Elon Musk gitu lho, yang konon Tony Stark versi KW. 

Dari dulu saya nggak ngerti ya. Bukan urusan saya siapa doyan sama siapa, kecuali kalau doyannya sama pasangan saya. Tinggal di LA membuat saya tambah yakin. Baik sesama jenis maupun lawan jenis, saya tetap sirik melihat orang berpasangan saat saya jomblo.

Seperti agama, sebenarnya sulit tahu apakah seseorang LGBTQ atau bukan karena tidak terlihat kecuali dia memperlihatkan. Nggak semua orang yang konon 'melambai' itu gay, atau yang terlihat anak sholehah ternyata lesbian. Kemajuan medis pun sudah sangat pesat sehingga transgender bisa transisi tanpa jejak.

Tapi entah kenapa ini diperjuangkan sekali bagi banyak orang. Gini gini, diri sendiri sudah beres belom sih? Sudah menolong dan mengasihi orang sebagaimana Tuhan menolong dan mengasihi? Atau merasa ini cara membuktikan kesetiaan pada Tuhan? Memang Tuhan nggak bisa ngurus ini sendiri?

Orang-orang LGBTQ nggak bangkit dan tetanda akhir dunia. Mereka lebih terlihat sekarang karena sebagai manusia kita belajar untuk lebih mengerti. Perasaan dan preferensi nggak bisa diubah. Sekarang saja pria di Indonesia dominan masih butuh yang putih mungil. Bule masih bikin deg deg serr.

Soal akhir dunia? Perubahan iklim. Bom bunuh diri. Perang. Main hakim sendiri. Inflasi global. Ketiadaan tempat tinggal. Perbudakan buruh. Kelaparan global. Mau saya teruskan? Semua ini bisa diatasi tanpa berurusan dengan jenis kelamin dan preferensi seksual orang lho.

Saya merasakan 'asiknya' jadi minoritas akan sesuatu yang mana tidak bisa saya ubah (Hindu, kulit gelap, non Jawa). Saya tidak menginginkan orang lain merasakan ini. Tapi kalaupun saya bukan minoritas, sewajarnya saya akan ikut merasa terluka akan perlakuan buruk terhadap sesama manusia. Saat melihat orang digampar, kita ikut sakit kan?Bukannya kita tanya agama etc baru kita memutuskan merasa nyes atau tidak. Sudah segampang itu. Titik.

Field of Dreams

And here I am walking you to the field of dreams

One by one in a singular line

Your little feet make barely any noise

Above the rustling of your white gowns

Some of you looked at me with concerns

Some with confusion

Some held on to my dress tightly

Some need to be carried

Yet some are full of laughter

Some are looking forward to the warm light

"Will it be better?" One of you asks

"Will we see our mom and dad? Our puppies and cats and our goldfish?"

Some burst into tears because they know what is the place 

And what it meant to be there

Someone asked me once, "If God was real why bone cancer in children?"

I don't know the answer to that question

Nor why they are there with me in the field of dreams

I do know I stay there until they are calm

Promising to deliver notes and love and kisses to the one they left behind

Holding each one until I feel they are ready

Watching them as they roam and explore the field of dreams

Only then do I turned around

My tears falling and filling the river Styx

My grief and anguish crumbles and humbles me

They are safe now, but not others

Those who suffer and life in fear

Those who forever maimed with trauma

Those who are forgotten and set aside

Those who are victims because we fail them then and we fail them still.

My work is not done.

~ in the memory of Robb Elementary. Rest in peace, little ones. ~